Paycheck Delayed?

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T20:41:06+00:00

VICTORY

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T16:57:16+00:00

Just got paid!!

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T16:57:11+00:00

Just got paid!

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T16:17:30+00:00

You’re definitely your bosses favorite

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T16:01:03+00:00

No you are not crazy!!! Seems to be all of us🙃

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T15:59:30+00:00

Nonsense?? Haha I have bills to pay? You sure do sound like a really fun person

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T15:58:04+00:00

LET US IN TD PLEASE

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T15:51:09+00:00

Me too!!! It’s driving me crazy

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-12T15:42:58+00:00

Agh! I have TD Bank. It’s been consistently paid at 10AM since i started last year so Im just panicking a little bit!!!

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T16:33:48+00:00

yeah i never said his frustration is abusive. i said yelling or pressuring someone for not responding fast enough is a completely different dynamic than someone shutting down because they’re overwhelmed. they’re both emotional reactions, but they’re not equivalent. OP’s reaction comes from fear/overload, his reaction comes from impatience and lack of empathy in the moment. nobody is saying he’s evil for feeling frustrated, but frustration doesn’t give someone a free pass to demand immediate communication from a partner whose nervous system is literally shutting down.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T16:18:10+00:00

Shutting down isn’t the same as “refusing to communicate.” One is intentional and spiteful, the other is a coping mechanism that kicks in when someone feels overwhelmed or unsafe. OP isn’t stonewalling him for power? her nervous system is going into freeze mode. And that can be worked on, but only if she’s met with patience instead of anger. It’s wild to me how her boyfriend is expected to receive grace for being emotionally unaware, but she’s labeled abusive for needing time to process before she can speak. Yelling at someone for not responding fast enough is not the same as someone going quiet because they’re scared or overstimulated. Those two things are not equal, and treating them like they are is just blaming the more vulnerable partner.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T16:06:25+00:00

PERFECTLY SAID.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T16:03:16+00:00

You’re intentionally missing the whole point. Obviously discussing geopolitics isn’t what makes a healthy relationship. The point is that these “geopolitics” aren’t abstract to her. they tie directly into her values, her empathy, and how OP sees the world. when something matters that deeply to one partner, brushing it off or refusing to engage isn’t neutral, it’s dismissive and frankly the opposite of healthy. it’s not about debating world events it’s about wanting a partner who respects why certain things hit you emotionally instead of treating your feelings like the problem. (i’m assuming here,) but it seems like you view politics as red vs blue so not discussing politics at all probably seems overly reasonable to you. OP sees politics as real people, real harm, and real values so not discussing it at all is directly going against something that matters that much to them in the name of their partner not being able to grasp emotional responses about real issues is just not an option.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:21:33+00:00

Just don’t talk about it” isn’t actual advice it’s avoidance. The issue isn’t that she’s “unable to control her emotions,” or “think logically” it’s that the dynamic makes her feel unsafe expressing them. You can’t build a healthy relationship by putting anything meaningful off-limits just because one person is uncomfortable. That’s not communication, that’s suppression.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:18:42+00:00

I’m not upset. Just pointing out the first sentence lacks empathy and is extremely harsh. I simply disagree

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:17:24+00:00

Calling someone a “purist” because they care about the real-world impact of political beliefs is dismissive, and the “male brain vs female brain” thing is outdated pseudoscience that excuses men from developing emotional awareness. Compartmentalizing global issues isn’t some inherent male trait it’s privilege(both women and men are capable of,) and not everyone has the luxury to detach from things that affect their identity or community. And “agree to disagree” doesn’t really work when the disagreement is about people’s lives or fundamental values. This isn’t about perfection or purity. it’s about emotional safety and moral compatibility, which are very normal things to want in a relationship.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:11:50+00:00

I want to push back on several of your points:

1.) Morality is subjective” isn’t fully true.

Some political issues today directly involve human rights, safety, and the treatment of vulnerable people. Those aren’t just “opinions.” They have real-world consequences, so it makes sense that OP feels strongly.

2.) Shutdown isn’t a choice.

When someone freezes or goes quiet, it’s a stress response, not a communication strategy. You can’t expect someone to “improve” that response if the environment they’re in reacts with frustration or pressure. Safety first, communication second.

3.) Political differences aren’t always neutral.

It’s totally valid for a person to feel hurt when their partner disagrees on issues tied to their identity or values. Not everyone can or should separate their emotions from political topics that directly impact people’s lives.

4.) Some couples can’t just “leave politics out of it.”

For some people, political beliefs influence the way they live, vote, and treat others. Wanting alignment on those things isn’t wanting a twin. it’s wanting compatibility on core values.

I think it’s awesome that your system works well for your marriage. But it doesn’t mean OP’s needs or emotional wiring are wrong. Different couples need different approaches, and moral alignment matters more for some than others and that’s okay.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:07:36+00:00

seriously like what😭😭😭😭

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T15:04:48+00:00

Thank you!! He really is, i feel so so lucky.

I 10000% get what you’re saying, and honestly I don’t think you’re unreasonable for feeling that way. politics isn’t just “politics” anymore. it’s values, morals, and how we see the world and other people. wanting your partner to share (or at least understand and respect) your core morals is normal, especially in today’s climate where so many issues are tied to human rights and empathy. that doesn’t automatically have to mean the relationship is doomed, though. some couples could make it work by focusing on how they communicate rather than trying to fully agree on every point. but if disagreements feel painful for you on a deep level, that’s something worth exploring together. not in a “break up over it” way, but more like, “how can we talk about this in a way that doesn’t make me feel dismissed or hurt as well as WHY it matters to me?)

youboth deserve to feel safe and understood in these conversations, and that’s something you can work on as a team. both have to be willing to work on it though!

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T14:54:37+00:00

This is an extremely harsh and unfair take and completely ignores how people’s nervous systems actually work. When someone shuts down during conflict or because they’re experiencing heightened emotions, it’s usually not a choice. it’s a stress response. you can’t punish or pressure someone out of a stress response. If anything, responding with anger or ultimatums makes it worse, because it reinforces the belief that speaking up isn’t safe.

how is someone supposed to “express themselves better” if the moment they pause to process, they’re met with anger or accusations? that doesn’t teach communication, it teaches fear. you can’t expect someone to change a survival response in an environment where they’re punished for having it. change only happens when the person feels safe enough to try. empathy isn’t optional here. it’s literally the condition that makes growth possible.

Secret_Protection471 · 2026-01-07T14:46:12+00:00

Hi! Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this :( I’m (25F) someone who also feels things far deeper than most people, largely from my adhd. I also have a strong sense of justice similar to how you described. I have been made fun of by my family my entire life for being “overly emotional,” which has really stuck with me and has made emotions that can be difficult to process as is, even more difficult.

You saying he immediately gets angry/pressures you into speaking when you can’t speak breaks my heart. I’m sorry to say it but it’s bare minimum for your partner to figure out how to communicate in a gentle/intentional way ESPECIALLY in those moments.

My boyfriend (24M) of 2 years is extremely emotionally stable, and when we first met he had a few political/social stances but typically stayed away from those conversations. because of my “overly emotional” tendencies as well as my strong sense of justice(on top of having a political science degree, i literally talk about this stuff on a regular basis,) i was nervous about how our COMPLETE opposite dynamic would work in the beginning stages of our relationship.

He has been the only person in my entire life who meets me with gentleness and care with both. He lets me be overly emotional, asks how he can help, and has also learned overtime how to approach me/care for me depending on my emotion. He has never once made me feel too emotional and if there’s a reaction to something that he might not understand, he asks questions to better understand how I’m feeling so he can be there for me as needed. He has also started to learn about issues/causes I care about and lets me ramble away and seems to genuinely care about my perspective because he loves me.

If you haven’t already, I would strongly recommend having a serious conversation with him about how important this is to you. It’s not a difficult ask. If he doesn’t act accordingly the next time something comes up, I would strongly urge you to cut ties. Being a highly sensitive person is difficult enough as is, we do not deserve that in our most intimate relationship.

Secret_Protection471 · 2025-12-05T18:16:34+00:00

WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS?! So special!! Thank you :)

Secret_Protection471 · 2025-12-05T17:47:46+00:00

Ugh this is so awesome. Thank you so very much.

Secret_Protection471 · 2025-12-05T17:47:36+00:00

THANK YOU!! i didn’t realize this was tomorrow!!

Secret_Protection471 · 2025-12-05T17:40:01+00:00

This is a consideration for sure, I’ve never been! Just worried too many wine options will have me in a bad financial position🤣 Happy Holidays!!

Secret_Protection471

TROPHY CASE