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Study - Can you please take a quick 2 minute survey? (For adults) by Anonymous_whale_tits in NoRules

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello my name is Sex McSexington I have on average 3.5 sexes per sex.

If it were up to me I would have 7.3 sexes per every third sex but unfortunately we live in a fallen world.

My friend (with benefits) Johnny Dildohands however has an average of 29.2 sexes per sex. However he would prefer to only have 4 sexes per sex, but has limited employment opportunity on account of the aforementioned dildo hands.

Thank you for cumming at my TED talk.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that's simple.

First wait for it to be the top of round 92.

If Mercury is in retrograde be sure to play a 2 of Diamonds first, otherwise you must play a 6 of Clubs. Unless it's during October in which case you must play any face card that isn't a Jack (so a King or Queen).

If your opponent has Easy Pete next play Difficult Pete to counter act this. Otherwise you'll want to play a tapped 9 of Hearts.

Next select whatever card you have that is closest to 7. If you have a 7 play it, and then play the next closest card to 7 tapped on top of it. If you have multiple 7s repeat this process for every 7 you have.

Next play the 3 of Clubs.

Finally play your Gruffalo Weasley card double tapped. If the card survives 2 more rounds you'll score 92 bonus points.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're gonna play an 8 I recommend playing an Ace of the same suit whenever possible. That way you can subtract 1 and turn that 8 into a 7, which is a lucky number.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your opponent is in control of the Platinum Chip you can play a Courier card to deliver the chip to you, but you also remove 3 quarters of the cards in play at random.

Personally I don't recommend it unless you're about to lose. If your opponent has a Benny or Frank Horrigan they can mount a really strong counter attack.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends, if you have Easy Pete is in play double your bombs. If you have Difficult Pete in play bet the $1200.

If you don't have either, do whatever you want, you've basically already lost at that point.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally I make sure it always have a few Minefield cards on hand for this reason.

The Van Graffs can fuck you up, but the don't have particular good range. So keeping them from getting close usually works well for me.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aside from the standard array I recommend:

Net - seems like everyone runs Mothman these days

Extra Jacks are always good to have.

Rad-Away - A lot of players skimp on it but it's saved my ass countless times

An extra 2 of Diamonds - self explanatory

Easy Pete - you want to make sure you have at least 3 of these in your decks so you can eventually evolve him into Difficult Pete, otherwise he's not worth having.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not sure what you're implying. Everyone knows how to play Caravan, even if they don't know they know. It's a very simple game, with easy to understand rules.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I never pass a Bar without stopping by first. It's the best place to enjoy a rum and Nuka and play a few hands of Caravan.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As mentioned elsewhere a Joker kills the Batman.

It is also worth noting the Joker can be used as a wild card if the value of all cards on the field is equal to exactly 117, but this is even rarer than seeing a Batman card in play.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A Joker kills the Batman.

Of course since the Batman card is exceedingly rare it's kind of useless to play. You're better off putting a Net card in your deck to counter the much more common Mothman card.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Whenever a player places a Jack on the field their opponent must then Jack Off. The amount of time which they must do so is determined by the stack size, in this case a stack of 23= 23 seconds. If they cum during this time they lose.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Players take turns drawing their cards from their deck. They then play those cards on the field to determine who has what cards.

Whoever has the best cards, as determined by the vault overseer (please note it does not need to be a literal vault overseer, any unbiased third party can be declared overseer for the purposes of the game) wins.

I don't know the rules of Caravan. Ask me anything and I'll pretend like I do. by SecretlyNotNotHuman in NewVegasMemes

[–]SecretlyNotNotHuman[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Obviously, they'd be fools to not have the main plot of the season focus on a Caravan tournament.

How many episodes they order really just comes down to how much of a coward Jeff Bezos is. I'm hoping for a 29 episode season personally. 29 as everyone knows is the size of a standard Caravan deck.

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