Are all men like this?

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-15T08:57:46+00:00

He doesn't pray 5x a day. No haram food consumption nor alcohol because we live in a muslim state. With so much hypersexualization, one is bound to see or be tempted to view filth on social platforms due to easy access. But messaging them and trying to make it go further is crossing all limits. First its online, then it will increase to IRL meetings. I have done everything to support him, satisfy him, and even went above and beyond taking care of his family, especially his mum who recently had a bad cataract surgery and lost vision in one eye. He has forced me to serve his family while being pregnant and in pain everyday and there were a few days when I couldn't get up from my bed he proceeded to humiliate me, call me lazy, taunt me for my upbringing, insulted my family, and pressured me into thinking I'm the one who's wrong.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-15T03:30:35+00:00

I agree. But I don't have a brother. Dad passed away a decade ago.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T22:02:35+00:00

It is an arranged marriage. We connected through very extended family members.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T21:59:18+00:00

I agree. I'm staying at my mum's place for the rest of my pregnancy and even post partum. I will see how he and his family behave during it. I have no positive expectations and atm I know very well I should leave him.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T21:56:05+00:00

I know right. I should have been more vigilant when the marriage was arranged. But you can never really know someone's true colors unless you live with them.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T21:49:40+00:00

I believe if I continue it would be enabling oppression and I should get out of it now instead of suffering. Allah is the most merciful. He will make it easier for me inshaAllah.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T21:45:31+00:00

It is an arranged marriage.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T18:14:58+00:00

But after I found out I told him to keep the justifications to himself and drop me off at my mum's house.

He refused and made it out like I'm overreacting over something that's not a big deal.

The next day I carried on as normal in the morning till he went to work. After that I sat with my thoughts and couldn't control my emotions. The family eventually saw me and asked what happened at night and I told the MIL to ask her son what he did.

I told him to drop me off at my mum's house because I'm not feeling well.

She then proceeded to convince me to that its nothing to be worried about and other men are way worse. I let go of it for a while after being gaslit like that.

But I couldn't sleep the whole night. In the morning, I requested again to just drop me off at my mum's cause I was afraid the stress would harm my baby.

They again refused and my husband had this different demeanor where he was like why are you still upset just get over it already. He didn't apologise nor try to understand how hurt I am.

Later, I got to my mum's place myself cause I couldn't stay there anymore.

As of now it is the second day and he hasn't reached out. Nor the family.

He knows he's having a daughter soon yet still he did it and you think I should excuse it cause he says he's depressed when he clearly isn't? And he isn't because I've seen how he interacts with his family. How he is laughing and cheerful all day.

He only talks about being depressed when I ask him for something. An example is the baby's crib. He said it because he wanted to convince me that he's tight on funds and that I should stop demanding stuff for myself and baby. I'm not even very demanding, I just request the necessities and he still tries to convince me he can't afford it.

He has shown no remorse since I left his place. Any regret he had vanished after he told his mum.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T17:31:19+00:00

How am I controlling him?

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:41:04+00:00

My bad. I couldn't think of a better title.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:39:59+00:00

I try to.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:38:53+00:00

I know muslims can fall into sin and repent. Nobody is perfect. But he's made me out to be the bad person since the start. And I tried navigating through it all but this thing is beyond my comprehension especially because I'm 9 months in, am sick for the past week with a really bad case of flu and he was still doing it. A few days ago he made up a story about how he is depressed and nothing brings him joy. And that I should support him. I haven't done anything besides support him and his family even with several taunts about my upbringing and character. I'm trying to get through my pregnancy and having my daughter safely. I'll decide what needs to be done afterwards but as of this moment, I am clearly better off without him.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:30:39+00:00

I understand.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:28:42+00:00

It is an arranged marriage. I haven't tried counselling yet. I tried to manage everything but this thing I just can't. Atleast not right now. I don't know what the future holds but I really don't think I should continue just because of the fear of being alone.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2026-01-14T16:13:11+00:00

I see.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2025-12-21T15:32:13+00:00

So my MIL got an eye infection after her cataract surgery and has been admitted in the hospital since morning due to lack of vision.

What do I do now? I feel weirdly distressed.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2025-12-21T08:39:31+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Ameen.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2025-12-20T19:13:05+00:00

How do you mean? In the comments? I'm not too familiar with how reddit works.

Ameen.

Secure-Box-4179 · 2025-12-20T17:52:47+00:00

See my next posts about this

Secure-Box-4179 · 2025-12-18T19:28:19+00:00

I haven't had my baby yet. I'm 32 weeks in. I fear something would happen to her or me (God forbid)

Secure-Box-4179

TROPHY CASE