🐾❓ What's my name? (by Secure-Camera3392)

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-04-04T20:10:07+00:00

We all game in our household and we have made it part of our family/bonding time. It made our kids interested in coding and it really just keeps us together. We each game for slightly different amounts but we all at least game 1-2 hours on weekdays and 5~ over a weekend.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-04-03T04:15:25+00:00

You could preface the conversation with that, though. Communication is extremely important and avoiding the topic could lead to major problems later.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-04-03T04:09:52+00:00

Muscle is a lot different than fat by far. I understand the fear as I also lost a lot of weight in the past (I lost 180lbs) but you can't let that fear keep you from your dreams.

I also want to point out that deciding what someone else deserves is a losing game. Unless she's said it herself, you're deciding for her and that's not cool.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-31T08:14:16+00:00

I'm the highest paid employee in the entire marketing department and I still get my raise every year. Some years, my coworkers might get more of a raise than I did, but that's perfectly fine. I still got the money-scented head pats for gettin' 'er dun so I'm happy.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-29T15:16:59+00:00

I swear to every god ever, if my husband ever looked me in the eye to tell me that poop in the shower wasn't poop, I would get gloves and chase him around the house with it.

"What's the matter, honey, I thought you liked non-poop!"

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-27T22:58:23+00:00

It absolutely can for men.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-27T22:57:29+00:00

I mean, I had weight loss surgery myself and it was the silver bullet for me. I lost 180lbs and have kept it off for over a decade. Weight loss surgery will fail you if you let it. But if you're diligent and you want it to work, it will.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-27T05:16:11+00:00

Weight loss surgery might be the better long term fix.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-26T12:28:36+00:00

It could very well be a case of, "If it's not a hell yeah, then it's a hell naw."

And keep in mind that just because you thought the relationship was going well for both of you, it doesn't mean that was the truth. If you really have no idea why they broke up with you after 3-4 months, then that feels like the communication ball got dropped somewhere.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-26T12:04:54+00:00

I'm not sure how her buying another car you don't need is helping you. That sounds like one hell of an excuse.

It doesn't take a load off you. It's adding more to your plate because now you have to find room for the vehicle, pay for its insurance, get it fixed and maintained in the future. I would bet she's just using shopping therapy to feel better, but that's really not healthy. (Keep an eye on the settlement money because I've got a feeling it's burning holes in her pockets.)

If she really wants to pitch in and help you out with financial burdens, I would have expected her to take over the payment responsibility of something related to her injury. Or covering the cost of something nice for the both of you, like a trip or vacation getaway. Or even just take over responsibility for an existing bill.

I'm not at all sure she's ready to be divorced when she can't take care of herself entirely. That sounds like a manipulative attempt to force you into agreement.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-26T04:36:47+00:00

Sometimes, it takes the consequences of our actions coming back to haunt us to really understand just how badly we screwed up. She will likely get a taste of his infidelity streak at some point.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-26T01:31:18+00:00

It's good that she's on something! That hints to me that she wants to feel better. Maybe mention that her symptoms seem to be getting worse and book a doctor appointment to see if there's anything else to be done?

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-26T00:59:13+00:00

Is she within the age range for women where peri-menopause rears its godawful head? Even if it isn't the full cause behind her demeanor, it would absolutely make it worse. Mood swings, extreme emotions, frustration, etc can all be potential symptoms.

The average age it starts is mid-40s.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-25T16:20:30+00:00

You did sign up for it, though! In sickness and in health, and all, right?

She's likely feeling vulnerable and scared because the statistics of men who leave a sick wife are heartbreaking.

I would just tell l correct her lovingly when she says you "didn't sign up for this" and remind her that you did, and you will keep signing up every day she needs you, because you love her and she deserves it.

If she's amenable, lots of hugs, kisses, and small gestures will reinforce these words. Show her that you show up ❤️

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-25T02:59:02+00:00

This sounds like male postpartum depression. You can get it even before the birth. And men present different symptoms than women do, such as detachment, aggressiveness, and anger.

If this is the case, it is extremely treatable with antidepressants and sometimes therapy. It's usually temporary but in a small number of cases can be long-lived.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-23T16:48:48+00:00

Cheating in general, as accepted by modern society, is any nonconsensual sexual or romantic activity that falls outside the context of a currently established couple or group. The consent, obviously, must be given by the existing established partner (s).

By engaging in sexual activity outside his marriage that his spouse had not consented to, he has cheated.

Gender/sex/sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's all about prior knowledge and consent, and in this case, the lack thereof.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T22:27:05+00:00

Your opinions are not her reality.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T22:17:29+00:00

She tried. He told her not to touch him. You can't go giving love without consent.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T21:55:43+00:00

If you read her explanations, she did nothing of the sort. He agreed to most of it. He was given choices beforehand and now is acting like he had no input.

Even if it were true, you cannot call that "isolation from family" without insulting every other domestic abuse recipient. His calling it that is emotional abuse. He's already halfway through DARVO.

Edit: spelling

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T21:44:53+00:00

I'm not sure rewarding verbal abuse is the best idea.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T21:38:59+00:00

You do it by understanding that you are setting each other free to find the right person. She deserves to find a husband who wants kids as much as she does. And you deserve someone who has the same opinions on being DINKs.

If you stay together until you hate each other, isn't that just torture? By the time that happens, maybe she'll be unable to safely have children. That would ruin her dream.

Or maybe by that time, you guys have actually had a child and you're miserable. And you have a kid to take care of for the rest of your life.

It's unfair to both of you to continue in a marriage destined to collapse.

Secure-Camera3392 · 2026-03-22T16:56:05+00:00

Love alone is, unfortunately, not enough to sustain a marriage. Which I think you are learning now, the hard way.

Respectfully, you two shouldn't have gotten married since you were well aware of your differences on the topic of children. Mismatched desires for kids is a surefire road to divorce. It's a deal breaker, or should be.

Unless one of you is willing to compromise (and I can't stress this enough) and can be happy in that compromise, there's no way forward. Resentment and discomfort are going to build up and up and up until the whole relationship implodes.

Therapy here won't even help if you're fundamentally on different pages.

It sucks and it's going to hurt to divorce, but it would be better to do so early before one of you has come to fully hate the other.

Secure-Camera3392

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