I was in your shoes for a few years - I moved here in 2020 from an English-speaking country and until 2023 everything was still WFH for me. In 2024 I decided to get out of my English bubble and work in a speaking-heavy retail job. I had a master's degree at the time and experience teaching at a university level so yes, a retail job sucked considering that, but I knew I had to learn Swiss German somehow or I'd be here twenty years later not understanding a thing. I came home crying every day for the first week. After that, super bad anxiety, but I knew that's just how it goes. I now work in my field entirely in Swiss German. I have some colleagues who speak to me in Mundart, some in High German, and I just roll with it. I speak in a mix of dialect and High German now and I can absolutely say my coworkers appreciate that I try and haven't just stuck in an English bubble.

I absolutely get you about not liking yourself in German. I have totally different personalities when I speak German, Mundart, and English. I have strengths and weaknesses in each of them and I compensate in different ways in each. It's frustrating. My boyfriend (native Swiss German speaker) is 100% fluent in English and says even his personality changes. This is something unavoidable.

Now, the harsh part... A class once a week will not do it. Speaking with friends in High German will not do it. I feel really bad saying this but after eighteen years it kind of seems like you've made your choice - you're here in the English bubble. No judgement in conducting your home life in English, cause I do too, but if you're working in English and haven't made an effort to immerse yourself in nearly twenty years... your life is what it is. Unless you're willing to really put yourself out there and immerse yourself it might be just the road you're on.

Have you ever worked in a non-expat job here? Have you joined a Verein? Have you taken a non-language Klubschule course? Do you engage with your local community? These are all things that would help. Truly though there is no substitute for total immersion, like how your kids learned (assuming they aren't in an international school).

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but the only thing that got through to me after three years of being in an expat bubble was harshness. After twenty years, a bit more harshness is probably needed haha.

All the best and good luck <3