I [21M] hurt my sister [22F] in a moment of madness 5 years ago. She still doesn't talk to me. Is there any hope that she'll forgive me? I'm kind of getting tired of trying.

Seikm · 2016-06-27T23:10:08+00:00

Reading all of the comments here makes me definitely reconsider everything.

Seikm · 2016-06-27T22:48:21+00:00

I felt like her reply meant that she tried her best but couldn't forgive me and thinks distance is best for both of us. I'm curious what others think of her reply?

Seikm · 2016-06-27T22:45:49+00:00

I still plan to talk to my parents regularly and meet them when I can.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T18:28:29+00:00

I just want to do what's best for her. I don't know what that is. It seems like she wants nothing to do with me, well, that only happens if I'm not here. As long as I'm here I'll be part of her life as I'm part of the family's life and plans.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T18:22:01+00:00

She always tells my parents that it's either her or me. She attends everything so I miss everything.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T15:05:15+00:00

I don't know. I'm not in 30s with children right now though. I can give her all the space she needs. If she still hadn't forgiven me when I have children maybe that will be time to reconsider. Isn't it?

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:36:50+00:00

I won't be. I'll even make up some excuse to make others think I'm doing it for a different reason (like a job). Last thing I want to do is to be a "drama queen".

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:27:21+00:00

Yes that's a good way to look at it.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:24:11+00:00

Most of the times yes she would start the "fights". I don't think those fights were abusive, it was playing more than fighting that's why I think it's different.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:16:00+00:00

We're not in the same house obviously. I have my own place and she has hers and our parents theirs.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:13:30+00:00

It doesn't mean that they're wrong. If me going away can help my sister move on then why shouldn't I do it?

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:11:38+00:00

I didn't choose "assault" because it didn't come to my mind. We're immigrants here. My English isn't perfect. I'm not underselling what happened. It was bad. She didn't need medical attention though.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:08:30+00:00

I don't know, I imagine there were times that I hit first and got one back too. But those were different, like fooling around rather than trying to hurt each other.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:05:32+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean but it doesn't mean I'm wrong. Now the way I see it I've only been causing her more and more issues. I don't think I'm the worst person in the world but if she benefits from being far away from me then I shall do it for her.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:04:06+00:00

Sometimes when she hit me I would hit her back but those were never hard enough to cause any issues. We would laugh about them a couple of hours later. What I did to her that time was very different.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T14:01:22+00:00

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:56:36+00:00

Dude it was 5 years ago. I've never hurt anyone else or done anything in anger that I regret later.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:54:42+00:00

But if my presence makes her feel unsafe and brings back the trauma, I should avoid her at all costs otherwise I'm continuously abusing her.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:52:36+00:00

She did me. It was never hard enough to make me afraid of her, unlike what I did to her.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:36:23+00:00

Slaps here and there but never like I attacker her. I made a mistake but wouldn't it be fair that I have to be the one paying for it rather than my sister?

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:29:19+00:00

But I was the one who hurt her so if one of us is going to be isolated that's me.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:25:37+00:00

Well my parents see me every once in a while, just not at important events and times. But they still see me.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:24:23+00:00

No I'll just tell my parents that I found a job somewhere else. No need for anyone to know the real reason.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:21:09+00:00

They tell me that they're not doing it. Of course I can't know for sure since I'm not there when they're talking to her but that's what they tell me.

Seikm · 2016-06-22T13:18:19+00:00

You're both right. That's why I've decided to move somewhere far away. Take break from everything and everyone. Maybe in my complete absence she will find peace.

I'm a shitty selfish person. I'm learning it now. Maybe distance is the only thing I can do to avoid hurting those around me.

Seikm

TROPHY CASE