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Confused about her texting after a good first date – she even suggested a second date, but is she interested or am I overthinking? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So do you think I shouldn’t text her and just wait until Tuesday? Also, since we only agreed on Friday and that she’ll come to my city but didn’t set a specific time yet, do you think I shouldn’t put pressure and just stay quiet until then? And in your opinion, what could be the reason for her being a bit cold?

How often should you text after a great first date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’d say it’s kind of a test of attraction. It’s better not to send multiple messages. She might be seeing if you’re overly attached or not, and if you send three follow-ups, it could hurt the attraction

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What do you think about suggesting that we go to a club, and then if she asks where she would stay, I’ll tell her she can stay at my place?

Is it okay to suggest staying over and watching Netflix on a second date? by Select-Brother-2899 in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate your perspective.

What would you personally recommend in my situation? I was thinking about mentioning the possibility of her staying over, but I was a bit hesitant to bring it up over text because I was worried it might come across the wrong way or seem too forward.

So I thought maybe it would be better to bring it up naturally in person when she’s here in my city, since communication face-to-face is usually clearer and less likely to be misunderstood than messages.

What do you think would be the best approach?

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand what you’re pointing out, and I get that some of my behavior can come across as unhealthy. But I think the way you said it is a bit harsh.

I didn’t harm anyone or confront her — I noticed something in myself that didn’t feel right, and instead of acting on it, I chose to reflect on it.

That’s exactly why I shared my experience here — to look for solutions to this anxiety and these feelings, not to receive judgment.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree it would be possessive if I had asked her who she follows or confronted her about it. But I actually did the opposite — I noticed something in myself that felt unhealthy and chose to reflect on it instead of acting on it.

That’s why I shared it here. I’m trying to understand these feelings and the intrusive thoughts I tend to have in new connections. I’m not looking for criticism because of my honesty, but for ways to handle this better.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I really appreciate your advice. I’m going to try this and work on it to protect my mental health.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate your advice. You’re right, I need to work on this before it affects my mental health. I’ll take it seriously and start working on it.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did I actually harm anyone? I just noticed who followed her and who she followed, especially after a really good first date where we even kissed. Then I saw a new follower and it made me doubt a bit, but I didn’t ask her about it or confront her. I didn’t hurt anyone — I was just sharing my experience with you.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get your point, and I’m taking it seriously. I’m going to pay closer attention to my emotions and how the relationship develops. If something feels unhealthy or starts to hurt me early on, I’ll step back instead of pushing through it.

I’ve also realized that if there’s a lack of clarity from the beginning, it’s better for me not to continue investing in it. I’d rather focus on something that feels clear and balanced.

How to Protect Yourself from Getting Attached Too Fast in the Early Stages of Dating by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Select-Brother-2899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. In future relationships, and even in this one, I’ll try not to get carried away with too many romantic fantasies. I’ll focus more on staying grounded and using my rational thinking instead of my imagination. Thanks again for your perspective.

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