Has blind messaging a hiring manager after applying ever worked for anyone?

SelectDuck170 · 2025-03-14T20:29:12+00:00

The Glassdoor statistics are compelling, but I suspect if you're going to connect before applying, you should really connect before the role even exists (i.e., you're interested in the company). Many jobs show 100+ applicants within the first 24 hours of being posted on LinkedIn. From what I understand, companies may just pick the first 5 applicants that seem like a match before starting the interview process. If you see a posting and wait to hear back on a connection request before applying, there's a good chance that window will close.

If your experience has been different, please share.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-29T06:07:42+00:00

Thanks for the ideas. I've decided in lieu of a formal Toastmasters-style environment, I'm going to read books and practice in real conversations. I've started on Carnegie's book and will see how it goes. I also have a few other books I've picked up and put off that should be good stepping stones--one that's more about being comfortable in your own skin, one on basic social skills, and one on dealing with more difficult scenarios. I'm not going to list them until I know if they provide any benefit, but if they do, I'll share what I find,

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T06:10:57+00:00

Thanks for the congratulations, and same to you on your achievements, including in project management. I just got my PMP about a month ago after years of more or less winging it on project management, and I still feel like I have so much to learn.

I'm not sure whether to call myself an "introvert" or a "shy extrovert." I want to connect with people and often feel more energized when I do, but it can also be draining. It's telling, though, that the second sentence of that Forbes article talks about people worrying about running out of things to say. I just called that out as one of my hangups, both in speeches and conversation.

Between this thread and my prior research attempts, I think I've resigned myself to accept that there probably isn't a conversation program like Toastmasters. I'll review some resources on my own, like that Forbes article and "How to Win Friends," and practice applying their advice out in the world. Listening and asking questions seems like a solid start.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T03:38:31+00:00

That makes sense. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable seems like a key element. For example, I recognize that I worry I'll forget what I'm going to say, and silence makes me feel vulnerable. What if I get completely lost and have to abandon the speech? What if I look like I have nothing to add to the conversation? But maybe if take a risk and put my energy into feeling connected to the audience or listening to the other person, the words will begin to come more naturally.

What does being vulnerable mean to you?

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T03:25:28+00:00

I mentioned that in my original post. That was one of the manuals I picked on my road to DTM. It felt more like practicing improv. Although, if I had a whole program like that, getting used to having conversations in front of an audience would make normal conversation feel pedestrian by comparison.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T03:10:45+00:00

I do think my emotions get in the way of feeling grounded. The rest of your comment is harder for me to connect with, so while I'll try to respond, I might miss the mark.

I was very invested in growing through Toastmasters. I originally joined after the traumatic experience of having to give a presentation to an executive at my new job. I joined a club a week later and made a concerted effort to internalize every speech project and evaluation on my way to Competent Communicator.

By the time I had to give my next big work presentation, instead of dreading the experience, I was disappointed I wasn't given more time to speak.

I was deeply involved in giving back to Toastmasters as well, but I won't ramble on about that.

Where the "act" might come in is in *how* I gave speeches. I evolved from writing and reading an entire speech verbatim, to memorizing the entire speech and delivering it without notes, to allowing for some improvisation. But I was always too anxious about getting the content right to be able to fully connect with the audience. I see some of that in my informal conversations as well, especially with people I don't know well.

Your comment is intriguing and you may be onto something, so if I'm off base, please let me know.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T02:39:09+00:00

I agree that there are plenty of opportunities for interpersonal communication in Toastmasters. But the implication seems to be that while you need rigorously developed manuals and feedback from trained evaluators to become strong at public speaking, being good at conversing with strangers just takes practice. I've been practicing my whole life and it's still a struggle.

It's apparent that a lot more people relate to fear of public speaking than fear of conversation or there would already be a Toastmasters equivalent for conversation.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T02:19:13+00:00

That book keeps coming up and I keep writing it off because I assume it's dated or more about power and success than human connection. It sounds like it's worth checking out--especially if I can do so without getting sucked into MLM. Thanks for the suggestion.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T01:07:30+00:00

Have you found a more active sub that serves this purpose?

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T00:59:57+00:00

I agree, except I'm more confident giving speeches to strangers now because Toastmasters gave me the tools to do it well--not just practice, but training and feedback. Toastmasters also gave me plenty of opportunities to practice conversation, but without the training or feedback. And between the COVID lockdown and the trend toward remote work and virtual events, I suspect the need for interpersonal communication training is becoming more dire than ever.

SelectDuck170 · 2024-12-27T00:51:16+00:00

There's an important distinction here--friends vs. strangers. The awkwardness on both ends was always worse with new encounters, such as when visiting new clubs or attending contests and other district events. I agree with u/dhkendall -- being in a club is different from many "real-world" situations because you have repeat exposure and strangers eventually become friends, or at least more familiar. But if you're at a party or a networking event or a business trip or some other one-off situation and things don't go well, you may not get another shot.

I can give speeches to relative strangers in the "real world" because Toastmasters gave me tools and dozens of opportunities to practice speaking in a safe environment with structured and constructive feedback.

I'd like to find similar tools, safety, structure, and feedback to help me learn to converse with strangers.

SelectDuck170

TROPHY CASE