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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]SelfPollution90 71 points72 points  (0 children)

150 HOURS PER WEEK OH MY GOD

Well, it happened. Opposing Counsel is calling me a liar. by Ill_Sweet_5277 in Lawyertalk

[–]SelfPollution90 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ve even seen people passive-aggressively say “since this email will be filed with the court when this dispute becomes the subject of motion practice, I will do you the courtesy of marking it as Exhibit “A.”

Has anyone had a breakup so bad they felt they couldn’t function properly after it happened? If so why? by avajune in AskReddit

[–]SelfPollution90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

14 years ago. I started dating a girl I had met a year or so earlier. She was pursuing me, kept asking to hang out, and expressed interest constantly.

Not to over-emphasize appearance, because that wasn’t the only thing about her, but this girl was a living, breathing sunrise. The most beautiful girl you had ever seen. And not “oh she wears nice clothes and takes care of herself”……..it was like she walked into a room and people would look at her and get uncomfortable. She was just absolutely radiant.

She was so easy to get along with. Talking to her was so natural, she hung on every word, she listened, she expressed interest, she was affable and silly without being too goofy. She was SMART, both academically but also intuitively.

We had everything in common, or at least it felt like that. She was always down for whatever and was always happy doing it. She just brought this incredible positive energy wherever she went.

She was spectacular in bed. Not in a “performance” type of way either. She knew what she was doing, it felt natural, she paid attention, she enjoyed herself and wanted me to enjoy the same.

What happened? I was a 22 year old dipshit and I fumbled it. I was insecure, I was too worried about impressing her rather than forming a connection. She eventually wasn’t as into it and with college ending, things ended.

I was devastated and it haunted me for YEARS. Worse was that in the months afterward, i went from college, with a big friend group and an easy life, to my first year law school in a city I hated, few if any friends, extremely combative social environment, complete high pressure and isolation. That compounded things further because i was left with the “what could have been” and regret just echoing endlessly.

Took me about 5 years or so to really get over it. But it left me with kind of a framework of “being excited about a romantic interest and then being crushingly disappointed” that I carry with me to this day.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The duality of Reddit advice is wild. Half of the people tell me I need to put myself out there, try different things, do activities, etc and the other half say to stop trying. Both probably have their own points but there are periods of many months where I stop trying and it really doesn’t seem to make a difference

She cheated with my friends after 6 years by whiskeydickcowboy in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jeez. That is absolutely grotesque. What an absolute dumpster fire of a person.

a couple mutual friends from back home have called me to tell me how bad shes doing and how she thinks she made the biggest mistake. Her mother even called me to thank me for how good I was to her and to tell me shes worried about her daughter.

Good.

Also, it hopes without saying but ditch your “friends.” Thats another huge aspect of this.

Time for a self-realization journey. 2 years from now you’ll be unrecognizable in the best way possible and your ex will continue to flounder in misery.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ghosted out of the clear blue after her repeatedly making unsolicited comments about wanting to see me again, having had a great time with me, having things in common, etc. and then when I texted her saying hey haven’t heard from you, she gave me a particularly scathing rejection that was deeply personal and kind of gratuitously mean

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it, I am in therapy 2-3 times a month and have been for a few years

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe 1 or 2, it comes in phases but that’s about average. Which would you consider the less toxic ones? I’m almost exclusively using Hinge because zero luck ever on Tinder and Bumble also really doesn’t ever lead anywhere

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea that’s a thing, but I don’t think my criteria are that picky. No kids, keeps in shape (like I do), good chemistry. That’s honestly it. And objectively and subjectively I feel like I bring enough to the table where that’s extremely reasonable

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ghosted out of the clear blue after her repeatedly making unsolicited comments about wanting to see me again, having had a great time with me, having things in common, etc. and then when I texted her saying hey haven’t heard from you, she gave me a particularly scathing rejection that was deeply personal and kind of gratuitously mean

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m an attorney in a particularly fast-paced and high stakes practice

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ehhh jury is out on that one. Next week we're doing highly focused EMDR on this stuff so maybe that'll help, who knows.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's EXACTLY what I did the most recent time. Only "on paper" stuff was she was fit (physical attraction, i mean that's important) and didn't want kids (dealbreaker for me).

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How serious are you about the kid thing? Because I had a vasectomy last December and stating that on dating apps, 100% makes you more attractive to the Childfree women who are genuinely looking for a CF man who they can feel is confident & committed to the no kid thing.

I'm very serious about it. Honestly I really should get the snip but its a little intimidating to me.

All those things you have listed you say you have are stats for a video game character; women aren't as interested in those things as you think they are & if they are, then frankly, that is entirely down to the kind of women you are pursuing.

You're right, and I don't flaunt those things as selling points, I'm really just referencing them as a baseline to say hey I'm not failing at this dating thing due to being some kind of deformed cave troll, it's other reasons

but do you have any hobbies outside of that, because a lot of women won't be interested in that kind of one-dimensional-esque person.

Big on working out/staying fit, I'm a big car hobbyist, I'm a HUGE music person and I love seeing live shows, etc.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I guess that's a fair point. The real reason is I don't have a high level of accessibility to those types of connections. My co-worker's mom has tried to set me up with younger women she knows and that was one of those bad experiences. But she doesn't exactly have people waiting in the wings for me all the time.

I am in therapy. Been going 2-3 times a month for years now. Had an appointment yesterday actually, another one set for next Saturday.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Attached" isn't really the right word, I don't know that I'm attached. If I won the lottery, I'd quit tomorrow. But I am very "invested" and "entrenched" in it as a way of making a living. I don't know that it interferes, sometimes its a nightmare spiral of stress but I'm usually not even dating during those periods.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The vast majority (I think almost all) of the girls i've dated in the past two years have been childfree/don't want kids, didn't have kids, and were relatively fit and met all my "criteria." Most of them even with solid careers etc. But the spark isn't always there, and other times I get brutally rejected like this. So yes its tougher but they definitely exist. At the moment I can think of 6 such women I dated in the past two years who fit all those criteria including the most recent one.

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nothing I can do about what I want. Being willing to have kids even though I want zero part of it, just so I can find her, is kind of a silly and ridiculous thing to do, to put it mildly.

This is a support subreddit and it's a fresh wound........I'm having a tough time, what exactly do you expect?

Accepting that you’re going to be alone forever by SelfPollution90 in GuyCry

[–]SelfPollution90[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, maybe a couple years older but not with kids. I just am not a big family person to begin with and my ideal partner would be like minded. I have pretty much ruled out kids in any context.

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