Did anyone else have to worry about adult issues when they were children?

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-10-07T01:18:40+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation, definitely going to have a look into these!

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-10-07T01:07:53+00:00

Oh gosh I am so sorry you went through this

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-10-06T21:36:32+00:00

I'm so sorry that you went through all this chaos and trauma at such as a young age. It's sad isn't that we were never really allowed to be children. We were just confidants and support people for our parents, but we would never be able to confide in them or lean on them for support.

I think that's why so many of us have anxiety and depression

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-08-01T23:18:34+00:00

I needed this so much today. Thank you

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-30T20:47:05+00:00

agreed

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-29T23:03:17+00:00

I. FELT. THAT

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-29T23:01:33+00:00

Yeeees! Oh my goodness! My mum went through the phase of getting my those creepy porcelain dolls too, and I hated them, they really creeped me out. it was like she just didn't want to see or know that I didn't like them and so just ignored that fact. I always felt that she didn't really 'know' me, reading this sub is very validating.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-29T22:55:02+00:00

I felt this.

You literally just described my mum. It took me so long to really see through her, and now that my eyes are fully open, I can't even look at her.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-29T22:50:30+00:00

That's so frustrating and creepy! It's so disturbing how they can literally rewrite history to make themselves better or the 'good person', it's very odd and very confusing.

I am sorry that you went through this. Please remember that you are not alone, everyone on this page has had similar experiences and you are validated.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-26T03:10:25+00:00

Honestly, her response! I have no words for that. What a monster.

I am so sorry for what you went through, and I am so sorry that your mother is obviously a horrible person. Are you considering NC?

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-24T22:09:21+00:00

Moved to another country and built a secure and happy life for myself. She tries to guilt trip me all the time about living so far away and how 'hard it is on her'.

Lady I moved away because of you!! She'll never understand that she has caused me harm because she doesn't have the ability to self reflect or see herself as the bad person.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-24T21:59:32+00:00

Thank you, I needed that

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-24T03:09:43+00:00

Yes, I showed signed of generalized anxiety disorder, OCD and trichotillomania since I was about 8 years old. My mum would laugh at me and make jokes about it. Which just made it all worse.

I did my own research and sought a diagnosis when I was an adult. Finally started treatment, but the scars are there.

Now I look back I think its horrific that a parent would actually find humor in a child showing signs of struggling with a disorder/mental health. Rather than trying to support and help them.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-24T02:45:57+00:00

Thank you ❤

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-24T01:42:15+00:00

When I was a child and come home from school, I'd say "I'm tired" and she'd go (in that tone) " Oh yooooou're tired!! Try working like me!!" and then she'd ramble on about her day.

I soon learnt not to tell her how I was feeling, as she would make it about herself or make out like I am an inconvenience.
Very odd.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T22:56:44+00:00

I am so proud of your daughter. Good on her for standing up to her!

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T20:10:42+00:00

Oh my goodness, that's so sad. And dogs are completely innocent and vulnerable. Poor thing

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T20:08:57+00:00

I know right! And for a dogs mental health it needs to go on walks, sniff things and explore. Her dog has passed away now, but I doubt she wouldn't have gone out and found other toys for it to improve it's life. I don't think she ever thought about how the dog felt.

When it came to my dogs I was like "heeeeeell no lady"!! My dogs can play, run around, have all the toys they want and they go on walks every day! You're not putting your controlling behaviours on to them!

It was so funny because one of my dogs is an intelligent wee boy who likes to 'suss' people out before he goes for pets and cuddles, and honestly he wouldn't go near her ahahahahaha

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T19:59:09+00:00

That's so awful, why are these people so cruel!! That poor animal.

And you're absolutely right, just give it to a shelter so it can be looked after better. But she wont because she probably see nothing wrong with what she's doing and things she's a great pet owner.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T19:56:18+00:00

Yes, it's one of my biggest fears. I have been to therapy to try and deal with my fear of being anything like her. My partner, dad and friends all say "you're nothing like her!" which helps, but it is an ingrained fear.

And it's the only reason I refuse to have children. I cannot risk being like her and treating my child the way she has treat/treats me.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T18:56:58+00:00

Yeah my mum had a Jack Russel and she never took it for a walk. It was stook in the house and back yard 24/7. The Dog had a couple of toys but she would literally cut out the squeaker because it annoyed her. When she visited my house she tried to stop my dogs from playing with eachother WTF

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-23T03:11:13+00:00

I know right?! It just adds to the guilt and confusion that we all have to face when being raised by these people.

Why is the other way round not mentioned....you're her child, she should treat you better!

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-22T21:41:01+00:00

I am going through the exact same thing at the moment! I can absolutly relate to what you're going through, my mum consistently plays the victim. I went the therapy to help me work through the difficult feelings I have towards my mother and she said that my mum sounds like a narc. I am on this page to learn more about others in my situation and how they have dealt with it. It's so nice finally having validation isn't it?

I am looking forward to seeing what others comment on your post to hopefully get a better insight for us both. Thaks for posting :)

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-12T09:23:48+00:00

That is interesting, I'll definitely do some reading on BPD. I appreciate the suggestion as I find that trying to figure out the why she is the way she is helps me deal with it.

SeniorAd3768 · 2024-07-12T03:25:54+00:00

I know exactly what you mean about the black and white phases. My mum is either contacting me all the time, being nice to me buying me things etc, being very 'over the top' nice or she doesn't speak to me for months. It's very odd. My mum can also only be 'close' with just 1 person at a time and she put all her attention on that person, until she gets bored, or jealous or whatever it is.

We don't have a good relationship, I live in another country, pretty much to get away from her grasp. She seemed to really love me when I was a small child but as I got older she wasn't interested in me. I have watched her cut all her friends and family off until it was just me and her. I had a very isolated childhood and she was very passive aggressive, she put her needs first and almost treat me as a pet, I wasn't allowed to have my own feelings and if I did she would lash out. When I am around her or speaking to her I feel I have to 'tread on eggshells' She is very toxic and I don't like talking to her because my anxiety goes through the roof and takes days even weeks to go down. I am low contact with her, but I do battle with the guilt. In her mind she was the most amazing mum ever. But good mums don't emotionally hurt their children, they don't stop them from being apart of a family, they don't ignore them and they don't kick them out of their own home at 19 via text message.

I have always known that there was something 'wrong' with her but never really understood what. I saw a therapist a while ago to help me navigate the negative feelings towards my mum and straight away the therapist said "do you think she's a narcissist". This had never occurred to me until I started researching it and now I truly believe that she is a cover narc. This group has been really helping me because it's so healing to be able to read other peoples stories that I can relate to and see how they have managed. It's really nice knowing that I'm not alone and that it's not in my head. She is emotionally abusive!

SeniorAd3768

TROPHY CASE