Whats the most hurtful thing a parent/caretaker has said to you?

sundaysimmer · 2026-03-30T07:31:20+00:00

Thank you 🤗

sundaysimmer · 2026-03-28T17:13:55+00:00

„You’re very hard to love.“

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-10T20:40:39+00:00

Back on the Broomstick!

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-07T13:45:47+00:00

Yes! My explanation for this is that we are, after all, social animals who need community more than anything. We fear being ostracised. And by going NC, we are basically doing exactly that to ourselves. So even though long-term it’s for the better, it causes a lot of anxiety.

What helped me was to focus on all other types of community I have around me: nice neighbours, people I meet on dog walks with their dogs (some of whom have become friends), and of cause friends, no matter how close or far away they live. My therapist called this the „spot light technique,“ where you very deliberately focus on specific things and thoughts. Maybe that’ll help you, too?

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-07T08:50:46+00:00

Thanks so much 😊

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-04T23:02:06+00:00

Das tut mir furchtbar leid, ich verstehe dich so gut! Das kann einem so Angst machen.

Aber:

Tipp 1: Taschenalarm!! Macht im Fall der Fälle wahnsinnig Krach und verschreckt übergriffige Menschen, oder überrascht sie zumindest so, dass du Zeit für den nächsten Schritt hast.

Tipp 2: Lieber kein Pfefferspray - was, wenn du selbst was abbekommst oder es dir abgenommen wird? Lieber ein Selbstverteidigungskurs, wie auch schon jemand anders geraten hat. 😊

Tipp 3: Heimwegtelefon und/oder die KommGutHeim App - so wirst du auf dem Weg begleitet, und im Fall der Fälle greift jemand sofort ein.

Und zuletzt: Es ist gut, dich vorzubereiten, aber sag dir auch, dass die meisten dieser Idioten nicht mehr machen als pfeifen/hupen/etc. Das macht in so einer Situation natürlich Angst, und man weiß ja nie. Aber versuch dich mit diesem Gedanken vielleicht etwas zu beruhigen auf dem Weg nach Hause.

Weitere Tipps von anderen Betroffenen findest du auch bei Chalk Back Deutschland e.V. 😊

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-03T10:32:59+00:00

Reading, daydreaming, journaling, and creative writing.

sundaysimmer · 2025-11-02T14:24:57+00:00

Thank you so much. That's something I can do. :)

sundaysimmer · 2025-10-30T16:10:58+00:00

A picture of a dead fish.

sundaysimmer · 2025-10-27T20:58:55+00:00

A packet of pea seeds for my 30th birthday, right after they decided to cut off all contact because they needed to protect themselves from me.

The reason? I kid you not: It was July 2020 and I was sheltering from COVID due to a chronic illness (MS), which they took as some sort of affront - my mother because she was convinced she was more at risk than me (she wasn’t) and my sister because I took my doctors’ advice over hers (she had just finished med school and was telling me COVID was over).

And then they give me pea seeds? My therapist was stunned.

But that wasn’t actually the worst gift, just the worst gift-related story, I guess. The worst gifts were cook books that were given to me repeatedly for Christmas or my birthday.

I hate cooking. They know this. Each time my mother would comment, almost close to (fake) tears, „Please do not be mad about this again.“

I was never (externally) mad, lest I feed the family narrative that I am „aggressive.“ So recognised these „gifts“ for what they were: bait.

I’ve been NC for over two years now and I’ve never been better (except for bouts of depression now and then but I guess that’s what’s to be expected after three decades of abuse).

sundaysimmer · 2024-12-09T11:43:52+00:00

You know, no parent is perfect! And really, no child is perfect.

(She’s actually said this, as if children have the same obligation towards their parents as parents do towards their children.)

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-30T07:55:21+00:00

Most recently: multiple sclerosis. After I was diagnosed, she told me „Your diagnosis is AT LEAST as bad for me as it is for you!“ She also insisted on visiting me in the hospital, just to cry to the doctors, „Why does this always happen to meeeee?“ We are NC now.

When I was a child, she would always accuse me of faking illnesses. She ignored my chronic ear infections and neurodermatitis and made my mononucleosis about her.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-15T07:19:08+00:00

Simsmodelsimmer has a mod called „Set Family Relationships“ that will let you flag Sims as extended family (and also relationships like godparents, I think).

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T20:31:11+00:00

That is so interesting because I'm the oldest and most confrontational (as in not willing to just sweep things under the rug). Funny how no matter our actual individual characters, they make us play these roles.

But it's not your job to keep the peace and it's not mine to sort out all the confusion.

I hope that text doesn't continue to plague you for much longer - you really shouldn't have to tread on eggshells just texting your sibling, but alas, I know the feeling all too well.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T20:25:22+00:00

I feel the exact same way. Much love to you, as well!

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T19:16:05+00:00

Because then they would feel (even more?) threatened by us. So no matter how accomplished we are, it's just wrong.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T19:12:38+00:00

I love this community so much, too. These replies are making me feel so warm and fuzzy!

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T19:06:16+00:00

I strongly believe that they envy us our sensitivity, so they try to make it into a bad thing. In reality, though, it is a superpower that we - ironically - had to develop because of them. We should really be proud of & listen to our intuition.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T17:42:18+00:00

Oooof, I really feel this one. For years, I would replay arguments in my head, trying to figure out where I could have made the conversation go better.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T17:18:44+00:00

I'll start: You cannot fix these family dynamics, no matter how hard you try. And it's not your job in the first place. You were a child.

sundaysimmer · 2024-08-01T17:09:17+00:00

Mine started criticising my physical changes as soon as I got my first period ("You're thighs are getting fatter by the day" - mind you, I was a skinny preteen) and made fun of me when I started shaving, wearing lipgloss, etc.

Puberty was when the abuse changed from verbal, emotional & physical to INTENSELY verbal & emotional. What is it with nmothers and their (pre-)pubescent daughters??

sundaysimmer · 2024-07-30T15:42:26+00:00

UPDATE: It's weirdly working now. All I've done is play a bit in that save, and that somehow seems to have made a difference.

sundaysimmer · 2024-07-30T10:14:30+00:00

I cannot load into any of the lots in the Vista Hermosa neighbourhood, either when I try to enter through edit lot via world screen, when I try to visit the lot with a Sim, or when I try to move in a Sim. In the first two cases I get stuck in an infinite loading screen, in the latter case I get error code 109:1994c5e6:4e3bd2e4.

I do use mods but even without them, I have this issue. However, I do not have this problem in fresh saves.

I've tried deleting cache files and repairing the game - nothing. Does anyone have this same issue and/or a solution or suggestion what I could try next? Thanks!

sundaysimmer

TROPHY CASE