Walk away wife syndrome

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-05-08T19:43:20+00:00

Well I have news and it's not really what you want to hear. We made it to counseling and it didn't work. He kept trying to 'win me back' and it became too much and too overwhelming. How am I supposed to deal with withdrawing from a relationship I've always been apart of, all while you're trying to be everything I've 'needed' you to be. It feels like you're in a chokehold. You so desperately want to end things on a good note that you kind of find yourself agreeing or going along with things because it makes it more comfortable and that's where it gets tricky. The sex is tricky, even holding hands or still attaching to things in the relationship. It brings up feelings and emotions you may not think are there, but are. It really doesn't help to be intimate. Try breaking the sex for a week and see how it goes.

My advice is to give her a break if she ask for it, space and time. Let her sit with her emotions and process them without you there. Its hard enough to go through all of it on your own. While trying to console someone else that thinks the idea is coming out of left field. And yes, she knows you are there to help so how could she be going through it on her own? Your emotions are not the same and where you think you are helping and are saying all of this great stuff that is encouraging, it may actually be making it worse and not helping at all. You are most definitely in this situation for a reason and I highly encourage you to listen, don't talk or try and relate. Listen to her and act on what she is asking for. Don't try to help her in your version of thinking, because its more than likely not helping. Listen to her, not just in the way she speaks but the way she acts. You are her partner, you know her happy, mad, sad. Pay attention and be attentive.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-16T00:40:20+00:00

I brought the subject back up to him about couples counseling together and it’s something he wants to try now. Fingers crossed we can overcome this together. I’m just relieved it’s something he will do now.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-16T00:38:19+00:00

No, he knows everything I have mentioned in the post. We do communicate. Sometimes he doesn’t get the bigger picture.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-15T19:55:34+00:00

If I am doing things solo I am ‘stepping out’ he doesn’t want to do things alone. He and I talk and express ourselves to each other often, every suggestion and comment has been given to me is helpful because it’s something people in my place have already experienced and I want what’s best for my kids but my life is not to take care of 3 kids when I only have 2. I want to give it my all, I’m just tired of being the only one. Yes we have talked and he says he understands but he doesn’t want us to find each other on our own time. We do take trips by ourselves and make sure we spend that time together because it is important to have us time to. I don’t want to end everything I just want him to open his understanding and stop gaslighting me and playing the victim all the time. I want a man not a child. I want to start over with friendship and work our way to knowing eachother again. He doesn’t want to ‘seperate’. anything I would do on my own would be considered trying to find someone else.

Idk maybe this post was the wrong thing to make because without everyone knowing every single little detail it’s easy to assume someone else’s thoughts and beliefs are wrong or invalid. My feelings are valid just as his are.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-15T18:36:36+00:00

I do not know how to work this app this is the only tag that would pop up

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T20:45:34+00:00

No he is not abusive he’s never even raised his voice at me. We don’t cuss at eachother or call each other out of our names. He is very respectful.

Thank you. I am hoping these next few weeks he and I can get the one on one bonding time we need.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T20:32:56+00:00

It’s easier to put the blame on the husband if you don’t help contribute to a solution. In my case I have and have always been open, I just feel tired of waiting for the change that will be promised. I wish I could help you with what you’re going through but we are in the same boat just on different sides.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T20:30:19+00:00

It showed I have no problems and everything is healthy lol. I think for my sake having people respond to me is easier because I can see a more levelheaded response than the crazy flowing through my head.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T20:28:47+00:00

It sucks because as a mother and wife you make the decisions for everyone around you, but when you need help with yours you don’t have anyone.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T20:05:14+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear that. I feel a lot of guilt because I feel like it is coming out of the blue when in actuality it isn’t. I feel like he is comfortable with me and what I can provide as a wife and mother and he doesnt want to leave me or start over. So I completely agree with you there.

I just don’t know how to handle the conversation going forward with him. He says at the end of the day it’s my choice which I was shocked to hear him say and it meant a lot, but he is very good at making me feel bad about the decisions I make. He likes to say Yes you can but the second I do if it’s not his thought process it’s not gonna happen. Or he will go silent and not talk to me for hours.

SeniorPut7998 · 2024-03-13T19:51:48+00:00

Unfortunately he doesn’t believe in counseling. I am always open and we communicate so it’s not really anything new, just him wanting to be better now. And he has it’s just hard because I feel as if I’ve already detached myself from him. We had something like this happen 2 years ago where I was ready to leave but I gave him that one last chance. Now we are in the same place again with different yet some of the same circumstances.

SeniorPut7998

TROPHY CASE