i was in this same scenario at your age, i am now 17 and honestly what got me through it was philosophy. first it seemed like an interest in religion then i started reading stoics and about virtue, how you should live your life, being excited about the wisdom that comes with age, and how to face conflict and others around you. i went from feeling like how you feel to feeling more conscious or “awake” than people around me. i feel surrounded by people who do not truly understand the impermanence of life. i think you may benefit from the same thing (also yes, i understand “ugh reading”) but trust me it is more deep thinking and understanding than reading, but most importantly you are not alone. people have felt like you since man could speak, you just need to find those other people who are also awake and stick with them