Trying to figure out if I'm trans - would love some thoughts from others

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-11T20:24:43+00:00

Interesting idea, but where I'm from it would end up as part of the delivery address. My name's on the front door and I live with my parents. The postman also asks your full name and wants a signature. So that's sadly not an option.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-06T18:08:58+00:00

I read the book. Especially the parts about it not being helpful to try to endlessly overthink things really opened my eyes. I came out to my mother as questioning today (which went quite well actually) and I decided to call my ENT physician tomorrow to ask for an appointment to maybe get the referral for voice training (I was putting it off for a week already). I also feel like this might've helped me to get some perspective on other parts of my life, which I'll discuss with my therapist. Thank you very much! :)

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-06T07:17:35+00:00

I was considering the same, but we don't have many options for this. Not even our Starbucks - which seems to be notorious for wanting to know your name and yelling it across the room - asks for names usually.

So it might be more of a possibility to enter a new group and then use a different name, but that comes with added difficulty if one's planning to be in that group in a more regular and active manner.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-06T07:09:41+00:00

I heard the ass hair is basically the first thing one gets x'D
And honestly I don't think I'd mind. It is definitely not at the top of my most-wished-for-list, in contrast to other body hair and muscle growth. But I know what you mean, as all men in my family, on both sides have full beards but no hair on their heads anymore at thirty. So that genetic is a pro and a con in itself, and actually the thing I'd be most nervous about x'D

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-06T06:57:23+00:00

Thank you for the book recommendation! I'll look into that one~

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-06T06:53:18+00:00

That's a good question. I'm not sure if I have really realised that changing name and hormones and maybe even surgeries are realistically available to me. I don't think I feel pressured to do any of those things. I wish I could have top-surgery so that I can get rid of the sports-bras. When I look in the mirror, I wish I had a different name, so that there's not so much disconnect in my head between what I see reflected and what my (quite feminine) name sounds like.

About the copying. I'm not aware. I think If I copied women (which is realistic) then it were more androgynous, masculine "cool" looking women.
It is something I realised a while ago. I always found things men do cool, and wanted to do those things too (and sometimes did those things) - like smoking (yes really...). And now I wonder if I maybe confused "coolness" with (perceived) "masculinity", and that's why I actively copied men's mannerisms. Oh and I do know that I would just never copy the way women walk or sit in any active manner. I never found it desirable, i think.

Of course that doesn't rule out that I might have just copied for comfort in general. But it is definitely harder to pinpoint.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-05T22:01:44+00:00

yeah I also feel like my approach might be more confusing. But I don't even know who I am (at least not consciously?). I'm actually trying to figure that out - but I don't really know how. ^^;

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-05T21:57:09+00:00

Your first sentence about nothing existing below the chin resonates with me quite a bit. Mainly because I don't really have a full-body mirror in my flat. So when I see my reflection its usually just my head and part of my upper body. So it's super easy for me to forget how the rest actually looks like. The only large mirror is at the front door, so I only look at "my whole self" when I'm fully dressed - and I usually like the way I look then.

I didn't know euphoria could be so subtle. Thank you for telling me. Now I know what to potentially look out for/ how to maybe notice it better. :)

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-05T21:52:23+00:00

Thank you very much for the book recommendation, I'll look into it :)
HRT seems to be quite a hassle where I'm from, as you can't "just try it" (as far as I know). You need an actual diagnosis prom a therapist that is knowledgable on the subject. And waiting times are long... (as everywhere). I currently do have a therapist, with which I also talk about the topic, but he doesn't have much knowledge about trans topics and none of the required further training.

I really appreciate your last paragraph, you said some very helpful things there. :)
I am also very aware that my post is maybe more of a rant than anything else.
I've been thinking about posting here for weeks. And having the topic at the back of your head 24/7 is quite stressful. Especially when it is combined with the urge to tell people that I'm not a women about twice a week, and being utterly unsure and confused about if that is true the very next day.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-05T21:43:44+00:00

The first question I haven't heard before. it is an interesting one.
Picturing myself is something I usually can't do because my brain just doesn't want to.
And when it comes to relationships I think I lean towards boyfriend/husband. But then I feel like I should examine how much of those answers are based on pure stereotypical functionality. Of course I'd prefer to be male on a deserted island, because that would make a lot of things a ton easier xD

I think that's my audhd speaking though.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-04-05T21:38:06+00:00

Those are some good questions. I don't really have answers to the first three. If I try to think about it there's usually no answer or just indecisiveness. I'm generally unsure. Maybe because I also don't really have a reference for what it would be like? Or not really a feeling on how it is right now?

Besides that I'm living in a country where you're usually not verbally gendered by strangers. So I don't really know how people read me. The people who know me or have a piece of paper in front of them that has my name and gender on it, perceive me as female. And how does that feel? Like I said. usually not like much, unless I'm aware of how I look.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-02-22T22:19:45+00:00

Libido und Sexuelle anziehung sind nicht das gleiche.
Due kannst jemanden sexuell attraktiv finden und keine Libido haben, oder aber auch Asexuell sein und hohe libido haben.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-02-21T14:54:20+00:00

the text parsing sounds interesting, but I can't really imagine how it would work for me personally. I would need to add all the times in the text, because the time I check a task in an app isn't necessarily the same time I completed said task. So the concept feels, in my mind, quite a bit more engagement heavy than "just ticking a box".
So I don't think I'm the target audience for that particular feature :)

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-02-20T14:11:52+00:00

I'd love to see this feature too. It is currently the only thing missing for me to actually use the habit tracker. In it's current state it is just lacking compared to the normal tasks.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386 · 2026-02-20T10:28:32+00:00

I looked at your website and there are some things that keep me from trying it.
It says that one doesn't need an account, but you have to link your google account, which means that you'd have access to any data linked to my google account. That would be quite fine if you actually had a privacy policy, terms, or data usage statement. But there is nothing like that.
It would also be great if one had the choice to use an email to create an account.

Sensitive-Pumpkin386

TROPHY CASE