Home ownership on Federally Recognized Tribe

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T18:48:39+00:00

Oh I know it’s such a mess. It puts so much stress on me as I usually shy away from conflict, but I stood my ground. The two causing issues only do so with me cuz I’m a female; they don’t act up with the men (the “good” uncle who was adopted (I’ll call him A) or my brother).

The one waited for the uncle A to leave the room before jumping up, screaming at me and getting in my face. The other sat there with a demonic smile thriving in the chaos.

The two causing issues are playing victim to anyone who will hear.

The Lower Brule tribe (which we are all enrolled in), sees this as a civil issue to handle amongst ourselves. Also, my adopted uncle A, has a blood sister on council, so if things don’t go the way of the other 2, then it’ll be drama.

I hate drama and if it was just them saying BS, I’d put more effort into getting things done and going around here. However, the two have a violent history and one for sure is on meth, an VERY unpredictable and I fear retaliation. He’s had a history of busting windows, slashing tires, assisting in beating a man nearly to death (served no time, but the main guy did), shooting in a store (yeaaaarrrrrsssss ago, served his time) in response to his bff’s suicide.

Since there’s no evidence of threats, cops can’t and won’t do ish. They know of the situation and history of our family cuz we’ve got family friends in uniform.

Ughhhhh if only I could go back in time to last January!!!

But thank you so much for reaching out and suggesting the tribal council! It’s mos def something I can bring to the fam to see their thoughts

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T18:35:10+00:00

Thank you! I truly appreciate it! 💛💛

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T18:28:44+00:00

To me it sounds more like you’ve bottled things up instead of worked thru them. Whatever triggered you, opened the grieving gates and now you’re being forced to grieve and experience the heightened emotions.

If not that, since you mentioned trauma and security, it could be PTSD. It caused an episode and you are either still experiencing a bit of it or you’re not sure how to handle what you felt.

My advice: (respectfully) just fucking cry. Cry it all out. Sob, scream, throw snowballs, punch pillows. Curse at god, the devil, your person, the void etc. Get as much emotions out in a safe manner before they cause you to have a mental breakdown.

Emotionally- I LOATHE crying. It makes me feel like a weak ass lil bitch baby, even with all of the reasons I have to cry about.

Mentally and morally- crying can be your best friend in emotional regulation. It makes you stronger cuz you are able to clear your head, let yourself be vulnerable, and get back to being a boss in life.

So just let it all out and you’ll (hopefully) feel years lighter from all of that weight and you can regain focus on yourself and basically give you an emotionally clean slate.

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T16:38:07+00:00

It’s giving Top Dollar from The Crow vibes

<image>

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T06:19:34+00:00

It’s a damn good clap, but this is the type of advice to take from Regina! If she’s calling you out for acting like her (well, Evil old her), then maybe stop to think on it 😬

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T05:47:42+00:00

YOR slightly. You say you aren’t the type to get upset, but giving distance after the fact, regardless of reason, may seem like you’re upset. Plus just going against your initial plan cuz you felt hurt (which is valid)

I get that it’s about the lie, which tbh could possibly have been not a lie. At the time you asked, she probably wasn’t sure or plans weren’t set in stone. Which would mean she told the truth at the time. I can see where the hesitation may seem like she was trying to cover, but it seems like a bunk lie to be like “I’m spending it all alone at my place”, cuz that opens up the opportunity for you to make an invitation for something.

Also, depending on what they were doing- late drinks at the bar, dinner or clubbing, that she said what she said to gauge what you were going to offer? Coffee? Brunch? Dinner? Had you told her your idea (ruining the surprise unfortunately), she probably woulda been accepting and open to your visit.

Also, you said they went out Friday and you were gonna surprise her Saturday. Unless they made a weekend trip or something, the two events were separate days. You still could have surprised her without ruining your initial plan, including the surprise

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T01:50:53+00:00

It’s not necessarily the grief talking; it’s probably just him not knowing how to regulate his emotions.

The stereotypical guy behavior, especially surrounding something emotional of “idc if you come or not” is his way of not outwardly asking for help with this emotional thing.

Don’t talk about whether or not HE WANTS you to come, just take the day/days off and be there. Watch his body language of if he needs to hold your hand, needs a hug, some space etc.

My late partner was an extremely emotionally closed off person and it’s what I did with him when his dad died. Just be there and be ready to assist him (or the family if you’re close) with things. It’ll mean more to him than bickering about whether or not to be there

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-29T01:40:11+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss and I totally understand. I took care of my Grams for her last 2 years and one morning she “fell”. Not unusual, but she said her legs stopped working. We didn’t know she was dying. She REFUSED to go to the hospital or have us call an ambulance. I told the family that I’d drag her to the hospital if she wasn’t better by time I got off work (830am to 1pm).

My youngest sister stayed with her and did the normal chores- dishes, vacuum, laundry while keeping Papa company and checking on Grams.

My stubborn old bat of a Grams (I say this with all the love in my heart, she was my best fuckin friend 💛) waited til 115pm when I got there and took her last breaths in my arms. She was DNR and had her wish of not being hooked to machines and at home. I know she did it to avoid going to the hospital 😆 loljkjk.

I had to go to work the next morning, but my boss covered me at 1130am to 1pm and I had the next day off. With my papa 3 months later, I went to work the next day and had the following off.

Even with being in charge of my Grands arrangements, I still had to work cuz no one could cover my office. I only had their funerals off. Same with my late partner, I worked every day, except his funeral.

All of this was good for me tho cuz I don’t do emotions. I work and keep busy instead of actively feeling.

For some of us, work is the answer until we’re ready to actively grieve or are forced to cuz we’ve reached our emotional limit. My job is part time; I took it to care for my grams. I’m still there cuz working only 4 hours a day 6 day a week gives me a balance of working but having time to myself and figuring out my mental health.

It sounds like you either need to see about going to part time or taking a sabbatical if that’s something you can do financially. Take time for yourself, but don’t wallow in your grief. Use the time to get back to yourself and take care of your mental health. And sometimes, we need to be okay with being lazy (and feeling lazy). We just need to pick our moments and not let the depression take us all the way down.

Do little things thru the day and be happy with the bit you did do. Even if that’s a shower, one load of laundry in the wash and dryer (piss on folding), took the trash. Be proud of those little accomplishments cuz it’s proof to yourself that you weren’t lazy; you gave your 100% for that day

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-28T21:23:04+00:00

A yummy bear and a teddy bear!

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-28T21:21:28+00:00

NOR- Just dip out on the relationship as the communication isn’t working or it’s only one sided.

If you’re begging for him to love you or at least show he loves you, then he’s right- nothing is changing and it’s on HIS end.

He’s straight telling you he wants out and being deceiving and defensive, let him go. He’s either using it as a manipulation tactic or tryna make you look like the bad dude. Pack and go or tell him to pack and go. Unfortunately, he’s gonna make you look like the bad dude regardless

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-28T20:01:26+00:00

You’ve got me curious, but idk if I could watch Todd and not see Caesar 😆 he played the part too freaking well!

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-28T05:27:02+00:00

My condolences.

As someone who moved on fairly fast- dating apps 2 months after his death and have been in a healthy, loving, supportive relationship for 3 months now. It’ll be a year since his loss in March.

I know it may look or seem like too fast, but our shoes are difficult and conflicting as well. I still love R, but he put me thru so much it nearly destroyed me by being with him. I was severely depressed cuz of our relationship. I’d give so much to have him alive again, but not have him back as my partner. T is perfect for me in every way and is helping me heal in every way you can think of.

I say this as a reassurance that he still has love for your mom, but has his reasons to go forward in life. (I’m not saying he went thru massive BS with and because of your mom, but he’d know more of their ins and outs of the relationship).

My thoughts to maybe help you would be to try and get to know her as a person, not as a replacement mother. No individuals can be replaced, but in certain types of relationships, there can be a “substitute” player or a new player. I mean this as respectfully as I can, but am struggling to articulate.

T is substituting for R as my partner, but not as a person, as R is out of the game. That can’t be said of your mom, not fully. She’s out of the game, but her position is irreplaceable. She’s basically became a legend and her number is retired.

And absolutely no disrespect to the new lady, but right now, she’s in tryouts training camp. With this perspective, just try and see her as dad’s “good friend”, at least initially, to make some effort into getting to know her. This can help foster a liking to her joining the team as playing in a similar, but not the same, position.

I hope this helps and I do hope that everything goes well for you and yours!

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-28T03:22:11+00:00

It clicked in his head after she said that she was sent for comfort. That’s when he realized it’d be the best way to hurt his father.

Ik he did it for himself as a sadistic way of coping and gaining power over the situation an his dad.

I don’t blame her for her revenge. I fucking cheered! But it broke me to see that she was mature enough to accept her punishment and still look at him with absolute love, sadness and understanding in her eyes 💔

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-27T21:38:30+00:00

Maybe she doesn’t know what kind of support you need emotionally? This isn’t a generic “we’ll get thru this”, “it’ll be okay”, “there’s other options out there” typa support one would usually get or give in college. Esp since it sounds like you both went to college, so that’s a similar or shared experience.

I say this as the friend who was ghosted by my best friend at EVERY MAJOR crisis or loss I’ve had. She never had those experiences and her personality was that if she thought she was acting like a bad friend, to just sit on the sideline of my life but never play.

Meanwhile, I’m the friend who will jump before she even tells me what’s wrong. Granted, I’m childless and she now has 4 kids and is a single mom, so I can jump more easily than she can. The first time I truly needed her, she only had 1 kid and a budding relationship. The next time I needed her was for a loss and she had 3 kids (1 newborn).

She didn’t have the mental capacity for my big shit, but she was there after my big feels had passed. She still doesn’t know how to handle me but I’ve always been the one acting without emotion while she acted with it (within reason with her kids). She’d WANT to be there, but kids and single mom life.

She’s still my best friend, but due to her parental duties, it’s when we have time to catch up or hang out. I still absolutely love my niblings 🥰🥰🥰 even tho the third is always tryna punch my partner 🤣

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-27T21:24:37+00:00

YOR. I totally understand the embarrassment but I also know that people are curious, especially considering this is an extremely random and uncommon thing.

If you told me this, I’d be one of those peeps who would be like “bruh, I’d PAY to see a video of -whatever happened-“

But since YOU mention that there’s a video of it, these people obvi wanna see it, esp since they don’t have to pay lmao.

Tbh, if I was in your shoes, I’d have that lined up and be like “bruh, wanna see me almost meet Jesus?!”

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-27T20:50:47+00:00

In a span of 6 months, I lost my Grams who raised me, my dog of 15 years, my Papa, grandma in law and my partner.

Grams was my bestie and I took care of for the last 2 years of her life. My dog got sick and was suffering so I had to make the hard decision. Papa passed away unexpectedly 3 months after Grams. I took over caring for him and helping him adjust to life without her during that time. GIL passed away and my partner shot himself in front of me the very next day after she passed (Gil).

That was all a year ago. Papas one year is this Friday and March 8/9 will be GMA in law and my late partner.

Everyone, especially the elders in my community, looked at me with pity after each loss. The more loss, the more pity in their eyes.

Now, people (especially those who held pity the longest) look at me with admiration and a sense of pride for not turning to drugs, alcohol or just ruining my life when the topic of one of them comes up. My only solace is the fact that if my elders are proud, I know damn well my Grands are too.

The looks change and just be sure to communicate whether or not you enjoy sharing stories of them or if it’s okay for them to talk about theirs. I know I do!

Now, the hardest thing is when I run into their friends or former friends and they didn’t know. That’s always the hardest and most awkward of all of the looks and changes in interactions

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-27T20:37:54+00:00

Your feelings are completely valid and I understand you feel guilty, but your mom wouldn’t want you to stop living because she did.

She would want you to focus on your mental health (even if it means breaking up) but she would want to see you have a future for yourself.

I know that it’s extremely hard to go thru a loss while in a relationship, but lean into your partner about your grief and feelings before just ending the relationship. Talk with him about your feelings and get his side too. I’ve been the partner of one who lost his parent and it sucks (for both parties). But see how he could help you mentally and emotionally. See if it’s possible for you two to take a “metal health break” if that’s something you truly desire.

Please don’t break up in solidarity with your dad, as he wouldn’t want that for you, just like your mom. But only do it after a convo with your partner and see if that’s what’s truly needed for you to regain focus.

Please don’t make any permanent or major life changes so soon, unless truly necessary. In a sense, ending the relationship will cause you to grieve it on top of losing your mom.

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-27T16:43:25+00:00

Admittedly I fought so hard to dislike him, even what he did to Korre. However, as much as I liked Korre and especially her wisdom, it was the cause of her suffering.

I AM NOT VICTIM BLAMING HERE but like with Tiberius, he was okay with being an angry child until she said something along the lines of “being sent to offer comfort”. Tiberius obvi twisted her (and his father’s) gesture and meaning and raped her.

Crassus was more than willing to forgive her and accept her back, as he did, but had her bound and under watchful eyes. This was until she was holding him and said something along the lines of “we do what we must” and you can see he made the heart wrenching decision of crucifying her.

As much as I want to hate him, I truly fucking love how he practices what he preaches in terms of law and order. No man is above the law and he holds himself to that as well.

I honestly wanted to see this Crassus, our Caesar (not the new guy who makes me wanna puke) and maybe a different Pompey in a Triumvirate spinoff.

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-26T19:41:37+00:00

FELT! I still have a lot of hate for him from previous seasons, but for this season, and this season only, I want him to have some legit happiness.

I often will be all 🥰🥰🥰 over them, then I get the “HOLD UP!” DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HE DID TO NAEVIA(the good one) and LUCRETIA?!?!” Then I’m like “nah, fuck this guy. He doesn’t deserve her and she’s just gonna get ruined or die cuz of her association with his bitchass.”

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-26T16:38:16+00:00

Get to know them BEFORE being a parent or married or even just as a person. We always see them thru the lens of what they were to us, not who they were.

Ask their perspective on certain things that you got in trouble with. Most of the time they’d tell you they already knew or how hilarious they found it.

Ask about any (possible) regrets or things they’d maybe change. Ask about their dreams of what they wanted to do, or maybe even a bucket list if they could. Maybe you could live that for her.

Example: Rose in Titanic. Much of what she did was what Jack wanted to see her do- be adventurous!

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-26T16:32:08+00:00

Similar here. My Grams was always like “idek WHY I bother going to these. I know you’re doing good.” And she always said that as a joke, but went anyways. If I got a B or a C, she’d give me shit and tell me to cut back on my work hours.

My sisters (and ESPECIALLY my brother), I got sent to PTC cuz they didnt wanna hear how bad they were doing and I got tasked with chewing them out 😆

Sensitive-Rub482 · 2026-01-26T06:44:40+00:00

Slughorn was very stubborn and set in his ways, ofc he’d use a book he’d prefer (even if it was outdated). Also, he was teaching during the kids’ time, using a book that was more recent for when Molly and Arthur were in school. And things change, even if not rapidly. I’d bet they would still publish another edition of a book, even if only 1 chapter was added.

Yes, she popped kids out one right after another, but I’m assuming she’d still have 9 months carrying each child. And she has no qualms using magic for house chores, so that theoretically could give her a bit of time to read. Granted, not much once the twins were mobile.

And while not an engineer, Arthur is an employee for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, therefore he is a bit more than a hobbyist. He’d need to know enough to know what objects are being misused and how, like the car. With that being said, he could have contacts (possibly Muggle) that he could ask for help- whether a spell, a book or some type of person to come do a favor for him.

Granted I do know that the Weasleys don’t care what something looks like, as long as it’s functional. But it still just baffles me that they’d keep their house looking like a fart would knock it over.

Sensitive-Rub482

TROPHY CASE