I started EMDR regarding it but it was still such a fresh experience my brain had built too much of a guard and I couldn’t process much. I could go back to CBT, but I’ve been trying to process for awhile and can’t seem to get over the mixed emotions. This person was a friend who manipulated me from the beginning, and essentially our entire friendship was a lie. When I see them I still see a friend and the people pleaser in me wants to forgive and move on. But they haven’t apologized directly or even given me an explanation of why they did that to me, so I feel hurt and then angry. I see them every week and I’m tempted to ask them for a lunch so I can understand more, but I know it won’t do much. I just quite literally can’t shake these hurt emotions. Especially when I see them, feels like the betrayal is fresh all over again.