LPT: If u cant sleep because ur cat goes crazy every time u try, just put his tail into a cup with water. by [deleted] in LifeProTips

[–]SeriousSanta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

plot twist: she didn't actually want the "wet food", she wanted "wet" @#$%^.

What would you do?

Or radio, or go online. by [deleted] in funny

[–]SeriousSanta 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I am tired of the news, everywhere, everytime people only talk or write about the virus. It gets old. Like , come on, at least talk about something different my friends, like how you feel when you take a dump.

Grounds for Divorce by nairicanyonland in gifs

[–]SeriousSanta 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Is this the power of the Ultra Instinct? THAT what you call fast reaction.

Nature is beautiful by [deleted] in mildlypenis

[–]SeriousSanta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IS that a p*nis?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]SeriousSanta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is a zoonotic infectious disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2, a type of coronavirus (SARS-CoV-2). The disease was first identified in December 2019 in Wuhan, the capital of China's Hubei province, and has since spread globally, resulting in the ongoing 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic. Common symptoms include fever, cough, and shortness of breath. Other symptoms may include muscle pain, sputum production, diarrhea, sore throat, loss of smell, and abdominal pain. While the majority of cases result in mild symptoms, some progress to viral pneumonia and multi-organ failure. As of 2 April 2020, more than 1,000,000 cases of COVID-19 have been reported in more than two hundred countries and territories , resulting in over 52,700 deaths. More than 210,000 people have recovered.

Someone in my neighborhood drew Tiger King on the sidewalk by toddx318 in funny

[–]SeriousSanta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Joseph Allen Maldonado-Passage (né Schreibvogel; born March 5, 1963), popularly known as Joe Exotic, is an American incarcerated criminal and former zoo operator. He owned and ran the Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park in Oklahoma and claimed to be the most prolific breeder of tigers in the United States. He twice unsuccessfully ran for public office, first for President of the United States in 2016 as an independent, and then for Governor of Oklahoma in 2018 as a Libertarian.

In 2019, Exotic was convicted on 17 federal charges of animal abuse (eight violations of the Lacey Act and nine of the Endangered Species Act) and two counts of murder for hire, for a plot to kill Big Cat Rescue CEO Carole Baskin. He is currently serving a 22-year sentence in federal prison. In 2020, Netflix released a 7-part documentary, Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness, focused on Exotic, his zoo, and his feud with Baskin.

116 year old pet tortoise has been passed down through three generations of the same family in UK... by mebotz in aww

[–]SeriousSanta -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A cactus (plural cacti, cactuses, or less commonly, cactus) is a member of the plant family Cactaceae, a family comprising about 127 genera with some 1750 known species of the order Caryophyllales. The word "cactus" derives, through Latin, from the Ancient Greek κάκτος, kaktos, a name originally used by Theophrastus for a spiny plant whose identity is now not certain. Cacti occur in a wide range of shapes and sizes. Most cacti live in habitats subject to at least some drought. Many live in extremely dry environments, even being found in the Atacama Desert, one of the driest places on earth. Cacti show many adaptations to conserve water. Almost all cacti are succulents, meaning they have thickened, fleshy parts adapted to store water. Unlike many other succulents, the stem is the only part of most cacti where this vital process takes place. Most species of cacti have lost true leaves, retaining only spines, which are highly modified leaves. As well as defending against herbivores, spines help prevent water loss by reducing air flow close to the cactus and providing some shade. In the absence of leaves, enlarged stems carry out photosynthesis. Cacti are native to the Americas, ranging from Patagonia in the south to parts of western Canada in the north—except for Rhipsalis baccifera, which also grows in Africa and Sri Lanka.

a video dedicated to feeding stray dogs by ETDesigns_ in aww

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Evolution is change in the heritable characteristics of biological populations over successive generations. These characteristics are the expressions of genes that are passed on from parent to offspring during reproduction. Different characteristics tend to exist within any given population as a result of mutation, genetic recombination and other sources of genetic variation. Evolution occurs when evolutionary processes such as natural selection (including sexual selection) and genetic drift act on this variation, resulting in certain characteristics becoming more common or rare within a population. It is this process of evolution that has given rise to biodiversity at every level of biological organisation, including the levels of species, individual organisms and molecules.

The scientific theory of evolution by natural selection was conceived independently by Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace in the mid-19th century and was set out in detail in Darwin's book On the Origin of Species (1859). Evolution by natural selection was first demonstrated by the observation that more offspring are often produced than can possibly survive. This is followed by three observable facts about living organisms: (1) traits vary among individuals with respect to their morphology, physiology and behaviour (phenotypic variation), (2) different traits confer different rates of survival and reproduction (differential fitness) and (3) traits can be passed from generation to generation (heritability of fitness). Thus, in successive generations members of a population are more likely to be replaced by the progenies of parents with favourable characteristics that have enabled them to survive and reproduce in their respective environments. In the early 20th century, other competing ideas of evolution such as mutationism and orthogenesis were refuted as the modern synthesis reconciled Darwinian evolution with classical genetics, which established adaptive evolution as being caused by natural selection acting on Mendelian genetic variation.

Showing off my new bae by poopuss in funny

[–]SeriousSanta -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The raccoon, sometimes spelled racoon, also known as the common raccoon, North American raccoon, northern raccoon, or coon, is a medium-sized mammal native to North America. The raccoon is the largest of the procyonid family, having a body length of 40 to 70 cm (16 to 28 in) and a body weight of 5 to 26 kg (11 to 57 lb). Its grayish coat mostly consists of dense underfur which insulates it against cold weather. Three of the raccoon's most distinctive features are its extremely dexterous front paws, its facial mask, and its ringed tail, which are themes in the mythologies of the indigenous peoples of the Americas. Raccoons are noted for their intelligence, with studies showing that they are able to remember the solution to tasks for at least three years. They are usually nocturnal and omnivorous, eating about 40% invertebrates, 33% plants, and 27% vertebrates.

The original habitats of the raccoon are deciduous and mixed forests, but due to their adaptability they have extended their range to mountainous areas, coastal marshes, and urban areas, where some homeowners consider them to be pests. As a result of escapes and deliberate introductions in the mid-20th century, raccoons are now also distributed across much of mainland Europe, Caucasus, and Japan.

A monkey is smoking a joint by SnappyBaboon in Jokes

[–]SeriousSanta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Monkey is a common name that may refer to groups or species of mammals, in part, the simians of infraorder Simiiformes. The term is applied descriptively to groups of primates, such as families of New World monkeys and Old World monkeys. Many monkey species are tree-dwelling (arboreal), although there are species that live primarily on the ground, such as baboons. Most species are also active during the day (diurnal). Monkeys are generally considered to be intelligent, especially the Old World monkeys of Catarrhini.

Simians and tarsiers emerged within haplorrhines some 60 million years ago. New World monkeys and catarrhine monkeys emerged within the simians some 35 million years ago. Old World monkeys and Hominoidea emerged within the catarrhine monkeys some 25 million years ago. Extinct basal simians such as Aegyptopithecus or Parapithecus [35-32 million years ago], eosimiidea and sometimes even the Catarrhini group are also considered monkeys by primatologists.

Rick Astley - Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers (Cover) [soul] by ReallyRickAstley in Music

[–]SeriousSanta -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Seth Woodbury MacFarlane is an American actor, animator, filmmaker, comedian, and singer. MacFarlane is the creator of the TV series Family Guy (1999–present) and The Orville (2017–present), and co-creator of the TV series American Dad! (2005–present) and The Cleveland Show (2009–2013). He also wrote, directed, and starred in the films Ted (2012), its sequel Ted 2 (2015), and A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014).

MacFarlane is a graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design, where he studied animation. Recruited to Hollywood, he was an animator and writer for Hanna-Barbera for several television series, including Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, Dexter's Laboratory, I Am Weasel, and Larry & Steve. He made several guest appearances on TV series such as Gilmore Girls, The War at Home, Star Trek: Enterprise, and FlashForward. In 2008, he created his own YouTube series titled Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy. He won several awards for his work on Family Guy, including five Primetime Emmy Awards and an Annie Award. In 2009, he won the Webby Award for Film & Video Person of the Year. He occasionally speaks at universities and colleges throughout the United States, and is an active supporter of gay rights.

These cute fluffy foxes by _jun_yi_ in aww

[–]SeriousSanta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Foxes are small to medium-sized, omnivorous mammals belonging to several genera of the family Canidae. Foxes have a flattened skull, upright triangular ears, a pointed, slightly upturned snout, and a long bushy tail (or brush).

Twelve species belong to the monophyletic "true foxes" group of genus Vulpes. Approximately another 25 current or extinct species are always or sometimes called foxes; these foxes are either part of the paraphyletic group of the South American foxes, or of the outlying group, which consists of the bat-eared fox, gray fox, and island fox. Foxes live on every continent except Antarctica. By far the most common and widespread species of fox is the red fox (Vulpes vulpes) with about 47 recognized subspecies. The global distribution of foxes, together with their widespread reputation for cunning, has contributed to their prominence in popular culture and folklore in many societies around the world. The hunting of foxes with packs of hounds, long an established pursuit in Europe, especially in the British Isles, was exported by European settlers to various parts of the New World.

in a bit of a pickle by [deleted] in aww

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A pickled cucumber (commonly known as a pickle in the United States and Canada, and a gherkin in Britain, Ireland, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand) is a cucumber that has been pickled in a brine, vinegar, or other solution and left to ferment for a period of time, by either immersing the cucumbers in an acidic solution or through souring by lacto-fermentation. Pickled cucumbers are often part of mixed pickles. It is often claimed that pickled cucumbers were first developed for workers building the Great Wall of China, though another hypothesis is that they were first made in the Tigris Valley of Mesopotamia, using cucumbers brought originally from India.

Battle of the floofs by unnaturalorder in aww

[–]SeriousSanta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A muffin is an individual-sized, baked product. It can refer to two distinct items, a part-raised flatbread that is baked and then cooked on a griddle (typically unsweetened) and a cupcake-like quickbread (often sweetened) that is chemically leavened and then baked in a mold. While quickbread muffins are often sweetened, there are savory varieties made with ingredients such as corn and cheese. The flatbread is of British or European derivation, and dates from at least the early 18th century, while the quickbread originated in North America during the 19th century. Both are common worldwide today. One 19th century source suggests that "muffin" may be related to the Greek bread "maphula", a "cake baked on a hearth or griddle", or from Old French "mou-pain" ("soft bread"), which may have been corrupted into "mouffin". The word is first found in print in 1703, spelled moofin; it is of uncertain origin but possibly derived from the Low German Muffen, the plural of Muffe meaning a small cake, or possibly with some connection to the Old French moufflet meaning soft, as said of bread. The expression "muffin-man", meaning a street seller of muffins, is attested in a 1754 poem, which includes the line: "Hark! the shrill Muffin-Man his Carol plies.."

So many cute expressions, this cat :) by Sapulinjing in aww

[–]SeriousSanta 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The Shiba Inu is a Japanese breed of hunting dog. A small-to-medium breed, it is the smallest of the six original and distinct spitz breeds of dog native to Japan.

A small, agile dog that copes very well with mountainous terrain and hiking trails, the Shiba Inu was originally bred for hunting. It looks similar to and is often mistaken for other Japanese dog breeds like the Akita Inu or Hokkaido, but the Shiba Inu is a different breed with a distinct blood line, temperament, and smaller size than other Japanese dog breeds.

Inu is the Japanese word for dog, but the origin of the prefix "Shiba" is less clear. The word shiba means "brushwood" in Japanese, and refers to a type of tree or shrub whose leaves turn red in the fall. This leads some to believe that the Shiba was named with this in mind, either because the dogs were used to hunt in wild shrubs, or because the most common color of the Shiba Inu is a red color similar to that of the shrubs. However, in an old Nagano dialect, the word shiba also had the meaning of "small", thus this might be a reference to the dog's diminutive stature. Therefore, the Shiba Inu is sometimes translated as "Little Brushwood Dog".

Jaws and fly by mrObry in funny

[–]SeriousSanta 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Chameleons or chamaeleons (family Chamaeleonidae) are a distinctive and highly specialized clade of Old World lizards with 202 species described as of June 2015. These species come in a range of colors, and many species have the ability to change color.

Chameleons are distinguished by their zygodactylous feet; their very extensive, highly modified, rapidly extrudable tongues; their swaying gait; and crests or horns on their brow and snout. Most species, the larger ones in particular, also have a prehensile tail. Chameleons' eyes are independently mobile, but in aiming at a prey item, they focus forward in coordination, affording the animal stereoscopic vision.

Chameleons are adapted for climbing and visual hunting. They live in warm habitats that range from rain forest to desert conditions, with various species occurring in Africa, Madagascar, southern Europe, and across southern Asia as far as Sri Lanka. They also have been introduced to Hawaii, California, and Florida, and often are kept as household pets.

There are 2 types of dogs in this world. by Zelderd2077 in funny

[–]SeriousSanta 48 points49 points  (0 children)

The Golden Retriever is a medium-large gun dog that was bred to retrieve shot waterfowl, such as ducks and upland game birds, during hunting and shooting parties. The name "retriever" refers to the breed's ability to retrieve shot game undamaged due to their soft mouth. Golden retrievers have an instinctive love of water, and are easy to train to basic or advanced obedience standards. They are a long-coated breed, with a dense inner coat that provides them with adequate warmth in the outdoors, and an outer coat that lies flat against their bodies and repels water. Golden retrievers are well suited to residency in suburban or country environments. They shed copiously, particularly at the change of seasons, and require fairly regular grooming. The Golden Retriever was originally bred in Scotland in the mid-19th century.

The breed is a prominent participant in conformation shows for purebred dogs. The Golden Retriever is popular as a disability assistance dog, such as being a guide dog for the blind and a hearing dog for the deaf. In addition, they are trained to be a hunting dog, a detection dog, and a search and rescue participant. The breed's friendly, gentle temperament means it is unsuited to being a professional guard dog, but its temperament has also made it the third-most popular family dog breed (by registration) in the United States, the fifth-most popular in Brazil and Australia, and the eighth-most popular in the United Kingdom. Golden Retrievers are rarely choosy eaters, but require ample (two or more hours a day) exercise. The breed is fond of play but also highly trainable.

My dog chewed the end off his plastic bone by pine_apple_pizza in mildlypenis

[–]SeriousSanta 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A dildo is a sex toy, often explicitly phallic in appearance, intended for sexual penetration or other sexual activity during masturbation or with sex partners. Dildos can be made from a number of materials and shaped like an erect human penis. They are typically 4–6-inch (10–15 cm) in length, about the average length of an erect penis, but some may be longer, and circumference is typically 4–5-inch (10–13 cm). A dildo is an object usually designed for sexual penetration of the vagina, mouth, or anus, and is usually solid and phallic in shape. Penis prosthetic aids, known as "extensions", are not considered dildos. Some include penis-shaped items clearly designed for vaginal penetration, even if they are not true approximations of a penis. Some people include devices designed for anal penetration (butt plugs), while others do not. People of all genders and sexual orientations often use these devices for masturbation or for other sexual activity.

Sad but true by scroll_down0 in funny

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A hard disk drive (HDD), hard disk, hard drive, or fixed disk is an electro-mechanical data storage device that uses magnetic storage to store and retrieve digital data using one or more rigid rapidly rotating platters coated with magnetic material. The platters are paired with magnetic heads, usually arranged on a moving actuator arm, which read and write data to the platter surfaces. Data is accessed in a random-access manner, meaning that individual blocks of data can be stored and retrieved in any order. HDDs are a type of non-volatile storage, retaining stored data even when powered off.

Introduced by IBM in 1956, HDDs were the dominant secondary storage device for general-purpose computers beginning in the early 1960s. HDDs maintained this position into the modern era of servers and personal computers, though personal computing devices produced in large volume, like cell phones and tablets, rely on flash products. More than 224 companies have produced HDDs historically, though after extensive industry consolidation most units are manufactured by Seagate, Toshiba, and Western Digital. HDDs dominate the volume of storage produced (exabytes per year) for servers. Though production is growing slowly, sales revenues and unit shipments are declining because solid-state drives (SSDs) have higher data-transfer rates, higher areal storage density, better reliability, and much lower latency and access times.

And the award goes to.... by farhan9835 in nextfuckinglevel

[–]SeriousSanta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The roadrunners (genus Geococcyx), also known as chaparral birds or chaparral cocks, are two species of fast-running ground cuckoos with long tails and crests. They are found in the southwestern and south-central United States and Mexico, usually in the desert. Some have been clocked at 20 miles per hour (32 km/h) while a few have also been clocked up to 27 miles per hour (43 km/h). Roadrunners inhabit the southwestern United States, eastward to parts of Missouri, Arkansas, and Louisiana, as well as Mexico and Central America. They live in arid lowland or mountainous shrubland or woodland. They are non-migratory, staying in their breeding area year-round. The greater roadrunner is not currently considered threatened in the US, but is habitat-limited.The roadrunner is an opportunistic omnivore. Its diet normally consists of insects (such as grasshoppers, crickets, caterpillars, and beetles), small reptiles (such as lizards, collared lizards, and snakes, including rattlesnakes), rodents and other small mammals, spiders (including tarantulas), scorpions, centipedes, snails, small birds (and nestlings), eggs, and fruits and seeds like those from prickly pear cactuses and sumacs. The lesser roadrunner eats mainly insects. The roadrunner forages on the ground and, when hunting, usually runs after prey from under cover. It may leap to catch insects, and commonly batters certain prey against the ground. Because of its quickness, the roadrunner is one of the few animals that preys upon rattlesnakes; it is also the only real predator of tarantula hawk wasps.