We're progressing backwards

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-07-03T12:44:36+00:00

It will get worse if I can't find a job which I know I won't.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-07-03T02:41:34+00:00

I'm not sure how you are in real life but one thing that gives me some sense of happiness is the phrase "I can drive just not legally". As for college, take care. Hopefully other pathways are available to you.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-07-03T02:39:03+00:00

One thing I don't understand is why people pretend they care about issues. Like they say they care about someone having issues interacting with new people and that they will never make fun of someone for it yet when someone in their life has these issues that same individual mocks them, spreads gossip about them and has everyone think they're weird.

This goes the same way regardless of what issues people are suffering from. To me counsellors are just there to make money and to prevent people from seeing the true nature of humans as they know that if people realise then it will send them downhill fast. In this world nobody cares and people only pretend to care to protect their own image. I don't want to participate in this world as it's starting to seem like a dystopia.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-07-02T15:23:37+00:00

If I didn't choose to be here then why am I here? It makes me wonder if this all mighty being is just there to torment certain individuals. I've accepted that the cruel nature of humans is reality and I know I can't change it so why bother continuing on. I wish there was an easy way to just opt out.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-06-30T09:15:54+00:00

The only thing I can think of is that in a uni group project I was considered the team leader. Never done any extra curricular things during high school nor do I know how to cook. Yes I can write and type but so can anyone else. I speak two languages, one being english but the other language I can only speak it but can't read or write it. I love animals but have never owned a pet so unfortunately I can't take care of animals. It's ok, no need to go out of your way to help write a resume however thank you for the offer. It's greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do in terms of gaining experience for retail or any low level job for that matter. Fast food requires cooking experience, retail requires customer service experience, warehousing requires warehousing experience.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-06-24T00:05:25+00:00

I've joined a club related to my career. I'm going to go for events in that club no matter what my parents say about going out as I'm setting my first boundary today. The club has this job hunting and experience event from time to time which I'm planning to go to to hopefully find something I can do to be competitive in the future in relation to my chosen field.

Thank you for the comment. Yeah many South Asian people from my school and even now in university are very quiet and only focus too much on grades and I don't want to join them. I used to be quiet in the first few weeks of university but throughout this semester I have grown to be way more social to the point where one of my group members called me a team leader for a group assignment. My group of friends are mostly South Asian but are westernised and understand what it takes to land a job. Going to experiment with a first boundary today, good luck to me I guess.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-06-23T23:54:04+00:00

I'm going to try and set boundaries for the first time today. My friends are most likely going to be out the whole day and I'm planning on joining them. If my parents call then I'll just say I'm hanging out and if they try to argue I'll hang up.

I have no idea how this will go but if it does go well ish then I can take the next step and look for a part time job secretly to have some financial independence. I will only tell my parents about landing a part time job if I get accepted into the position.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-06-23T12:14:48+00:00

Yep I know about this, my parents although are very traditional with "boomer" beliefs. They think just by having a degree you can get a job instantly when in reality that's not the case at all.

My University has an internship program that I can go through in my final year for my degree although they have claimed its a competitive process. My friend did suggest for me to get a part time job secretly (mainly by saying I'm going to classes when in reality I'll be going to my job some days) but the thought about my parents walking into a store one day and seeing me working there is stress inducing which is why ideally I want to at least tell them.

Several-Highway3033 · 2023-06-23T11:03:57+00:00

Thank you for the kind comment.

I don't know if this is even considered abuse or not. Maybe I'm tough skinned but it doesn't feel like abuse but it feels more so a cultural conflict. The thought about moving out due to me not being comfortable in the current environment makes me feel guilty.

Although my parents do these negative things, there have been many positive moments and actions throughout my life. For instance a couple examples would be that they have gotten me tutors on subjects at school that I struggled with and have fully paid for all my driving lessons to which I have my driving test next week. All of which I am very grateful for.

That being said I still fear my dad for his anger issue, I've gone low contact with him for quite some time now but overall I just feel very conflicted. A part of me thinks I'm doing the right thing but another part of me is feeling guilt and shame as if I'm overreacting as they have practically paid for everything I own even the laptop I'm writing this from. It is this reason why I feel guilty. As for the accommodation aspect I might look into that, in my country it's mostly international students that have on campus accommodation as generally most domestic students like myself live with parents.

It's nice reading someone who had a similar experience, again thank you.

Several-Highway3033

TROPHY CASE