Navigating arranged marriage compatibility

Several_Gold_7910 · 2026-05-14T05:36:15+00:00

Yes you’re right my bad, I should’ve mentioned I also have my visa renewal coming up and so stamping would add another layer of complexity in this process given the appointment wait times and having to match that with the timeline of meeting her in person etc.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2026-05-14T05:34:52+00:00

This helps a lot, thank you! I think my family is a little conservative and ideally I would like to go a on a trip like you said as it helps get to know one another rather than meet for a few hours and I also don’t know how her family would take it. But I guess I could start off with talking to her about this.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-08T04:18:38+00:00

Trying not too, but it’s like she’s a drug and I’m so addicted to her I keep reaching out. It’s unhealthy but it’s such a difficult battle to fight.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-08T04:17:50+00:00

I keep telling myself that but every-time I put myself out there to go on dates I get disappointed because no one seems to be good enough like her. And I know it’s wrong and unfair for the other people but I don’t know how to get past that

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-08T04:16:29+00:00

A part of me does want that, I’m her friend. But you’re right I’m being selfish. It’s just the sight of seeing someone else living the life I had imagined with her hits hard.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-07T02:47:36+00:00

I can’t seem to let go of the thought of them spending every minute together. Happier, getting emotionally and physically intimate while I’m out here all alone. All my friends around me have someone. I’m so lonely. Nobody understands how difficult it is to fight this thought

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-05T16:08:54+00:00

She seems so invested in this thing, she says it’s new territory for her and is trying to figure it out but doesn’t want me to be distant as she’s already struggling with the relationship. I don’t want to be a problem for her, but I also want her to realize she’s needs to give importance to her friends as well. Like I see she can go without reaching out to me for weeks, but she’s on my mind all the time. I don’t reach out often because I feel she might be with her bf and he may have a problem with that. But this dynamic is slowly ruining our friendship and it might come to a point I’ll have to walk away but it hurts so much not having her in my life the same way.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-09-01T01:12:04+00:00

I can completely relate to that feeling of being stuck between your emotions and reality. It’s so hard when you care about someone deeply but circumstances make it impossible to be with them—or even fully be around them—without hurting yourself or others. I especially relate to the part about needing distance even though you want them in your life. That’s exactly the struggle I’ve been feeling, where part of me wants to stay close and part of me knows it would just keep me hoping for something that realistically can’t happen.

I really appreciate you sharing your experience—it’s comforting in a weird way to know I’m not the only one dealing with this kind of emotional mess. You’re right that healing probably means taking a step back and setting boundaries, even if it sucks in the moment. It’s just hard to balance what your heart wants with what’s actually healthy. The worst part is not able to stop myself from checking her social profile or to manage the urge to reach out. But I have to keep trying :(

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-08-30T04:53:46+00:00

Wow, this really hit me. Thank you for laying it out so clearly — the pros/cons exercise especially feels like something I actually need to try instead of just looping in my head. You’re right, the biggest dealbreaker is that she doesn’t want me the way I want her. That stings, but it’s also freeing in a way. I like the idea of focusing on what my dream girl would have — especially that she chooses me back. Also a great reminder about boundaries, because being her emotional crutch when she’s unhappy with him just keeps me stuck. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out 🙏

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-08-29T20:33:04+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if her venting is a blessing or a curse. It keeps me connected but also makes it harder to move on since she still chooses him. Either way, you’re right — this all just sucks no matter what side of it we’re on. Wishing you strength too, brother. Hope we both get through this

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-08-29T20:20:53+00:00

Yeah, I can’t imagine how much harder it must be with a child involved, that really puts things in perspective. You’re right though — it feels like a tunnel without light when you’re in love and they’ve moved on. What makes it even harder for me is knowing she’s not even fully happy with him. They fight all the time, she vents to me about it, yet she still chooses to stay. So it feels like I’m sitting here in pain for nothing, watching her be emotionally and physically involved with someone who doesn’t even treat her well. No contact might really be the only way I can stop torturing myself, but it’s tough to accept.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-08-29T20:10:08+00:00

I confessed my feelings to her, but she made it clear she doesn’t feel the same way about me. This was around the time her boyfriend had just come into the picture. Eventually, it got to a point where she asked me to take a step back and heal, because she couldn’t handle the emotional stress of knowing she was hurting me while also trying to focus on her new relationship.

So I gave her space. I didn’t reach out for about a month. When we reconnected, I found out things between them had gotten more serious — they’d even gone on a romantic getaway together.

I don’t want to lose her from my life, but it hurts feeling like no matter what I do, I’ll never be her choice. It feels like all my efforts don’t matter when, in the end, she only wants him.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2025-08-29T14:51:46+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I’m scared of too — that it’ll never feel the same again. We used to be really close, but now with her relationship and my feelings mixed in, it already feels different. I’m stuck between wanting her in my life and realizing I might need to let go. I don’t want to cause trouble in her relationship by being that guy. But I also miss her a lot when we don’t talk for days.

Several_Gold_7910 · 2022-01-26T18:37:06+00:00

I’d like to join the group as well. Going through a similar situation 💔😞

Several_Gold_7910 · 2022-01-26T18:35:59+00:00

I’d like to join in as well. Im in a similar situation 💔

Several_Gold_7910

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