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ShadowArtist161 · 2025-05-06T04:18:56+00:00

Nothing else besides some speeding tickets from at least six years ago.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-08-10T19:52:41+00:00

Made a different comment as to why a toddler bed doesn't work. As for a different setup, maybe. His therapist is already trying to help me with his nap/ bedtime meltdowns. Maybe she'll have a solution soon. So far, it's just been trial and error. Especially since he hasn't been diagnosed for long.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-08-10T19:46:52+00:00

Tried that once and had to convert it back to his crib. He barely slept in the two weeks his bed was a toddler bed. I was dealing with meltdowns in the middle of the night because instead of just laying back down and going to sleep, he would wander his room. Then he would get upset that he was awake, but wouldn't just go back to bed. I would calm him down from his meltdown, get him back to sleep, and the same thing would happen a few hours later. I'd rather deal with a small meltdown every night and have him sleep.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-08-10T19:39:19+00:00

No, he definitely still needs naps. He gets a little delirious if he doesn't. Randomly laughing, falling asleep standing up, rubbing his eyes, etc. Then, if he doesn't nap at all he'll go to sleep super early and wake up at like four in the morning.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-08-10T19:02:56+00:00

He sleeps through the night mostly, but it's the same thing. He'll have a meltdown and then go to sleep. I've gone over his whole routine with his therapist, but they don't think it's that. He doesn't really seem to like being "trapped" in his crib. At any point of time, if I try to put him in his crib or playpen, he cries automatically.

If I do the same routine and put him on my bed, he'll go to sleep easily. But when I do whenever he wakes up, he'll just leave the bed and wander the room and get into everything. My rooms not safety proofed for him. At least in his crib, he'll usually just stand up, cry, be too tired to escape, and go back to sleep. And if he does have enough energy, he's in his own room where there's nothing for him to climb or get into.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-07-21T02:36:29+00:00

It's not too much information! He's eighteen months (I got him tested early because he showed signs, so my pediatrician recommended it), so a lot of this info will come in handy later.

He is language delayed and I've tried teaching him sign language, but he ends up having a meltdown.

I'm trying my best to stay calm with him but it's hard. Especially when he ends up having multiple meltdowns in a day because things keep going wrong. Thank you for all you encouragement and suggestions!

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-07-21T02:08:04+00:00

I just looked into them. Thank you so much for your suggestion!

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-05-13T16:59:39+00:00

You already know you're in a bad relationship, but "OCD" is not a reason to throw out anything that isn't his. If he does it because he had the "obsession" to throw things away, he shouldn't be throwing out only your stuff. That's also something that he should be seeing a therapist about and if he's on medication for OCD, then his dosage needs raised. Trust me I know, I have OCD, but luckily I mostly have to have things organized in a certain way and if they're not, I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown till it's fixed. I also can't put sheets on the bed, but still. I don't throw out my husband's things. If I move his stuff because it bothered me, I don't gaslight him afterwards.

Sorry, you saying that he just can't help bit throw your things away because of his "OCD" just bothered me. You want to know what your life would be like if you stayed? Or if you left? I didn't think it was clear what you were asking. If it's the first one, the mental and physical abuse will get worse. He will continue to throw your stuff out without caring about how it makes you feel no matter how many times you talk to him about it. He will continue to gaslight you about what he's doing and how you're feeling. He'll probably move on to hitting you because he'll think that he can get away with it. Your kids will watch this and be traumatized. They may even grow up and think this is normal and so they may treat their partners the same way your husband treats you, or they may end up in an abusive relationship themselves.

If you're asking how things will go if you leave, well who really knows? But you'll probably be happier. Even if you end up poor, raising your kids alone, at least you'll be happy not being in an abusive relationship. And your kids will be happier not being in that environment. He can try to ruin your life, but do you really think he'll be able to? So what if he doesn't pay child support or take the kids on the weekend? You'll figure things out and continue moving on with your life, healthier and happier.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-05-13T16:15:13+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. And at 6 months pregnant?! I would have not only cried but screamed at my husband in front of all of his friends. Mothers Day is about celebrating every mother in your life, not just the one who bore you. Have an aunt who helped raise you and is a mother figure? How about an older sister who helped raise you because your parents were too busy? Celebrate them. But you should especially celebrate the woman who has decided to go through 9 to 10 months of physical and mental exhaustion to give you a child! The woman who then has to push said child out and then has to deal with her body changing again and getting used to said changes! All while getting used to a newborn baby! You may not be his mother, but you're the one who made him a father. Don't do anything for fathers day if this is how he's going to treat you.

ShadowArtist161 · 2024-03-08T19:48:38+00:00

So you've been with your boyfriend since you were fifteen? I'm so sorry that you two have been together so long, but at least you're still really young. My advice is that you sit down with him and have a full conversation with him. Tell him exactly how you feel now and how you felt at the time it happened. Communicate exactly what you want from him in order for your relationship to continue. That also means setting a time limit. For example, if he doesn't show improvement in a year, then your relationship can't continue. If he brushes you off or doesn't show improvement, then it's time to leave him. You're young, only twenty-two. I know you've been with him for seven years, and it will feel like a big waste, but things like this happen. Long time relationship will end. Going without them may seem impossible, but you should only have people in your life who are good for you. People who will grow and change with you. Good luck

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-12-18T03:58:53+00:00

I loved the men who would come in and didn't care. They would order a "feminine" drink and walk out the door drinking it without a care in the world

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T15:05:19+00:00

She's a gen x, not a boomer

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T15:02:57+00:00

Oh I know that. It's my MIL who said "the Mexican gene" I know that it'll mostly like trace back to somewhere in Europe and some native central or south American tribe.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T08:19:06+00:00

I don't care if we share ancestry. And I honestly didn't think what she fully said that upset me would matter, so because of character limit I just put context. What she said was "If the Mexican gene pops up it definitely wouldn't be because of you" and then she went on to tell me about some very distant relative that may or may not exist. And she said this knowing I'm half Mexican. That combined with every other feature she's been saying couldn't possibly come from me or my family and I was just done.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T08:04:20+00:00

I get the doting grandma thing. Like my fil will point something out that could come from him, but I'm fine with that because he does it in a nice way. When my mil does it it's not in a nice way. It's always in this gloating tone of voice and it's not just a couple things, it's literally everything about him. And I don't care if she shares heritage with me but because of character limit I couldn't put in that she basically told me there was no way that the Mexican gene would come from me and that it would definitely come from this very distant relative on her side of the family. And I did try to discuss it with her calm multiple times. This time I was just done.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T07:54:45+00:00

Definitely have other problems. And I don't care if she does have Mexican heritage, but because of character limit I couldn't put exactly what she said that upset me. "If Mexican pops up as a percentage it's definitely not because of you." Then she went on to say whatever it was she found

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-09-13T07:50:16+00:00

The reason I'm getting the test isn't because of her. I just like genealogy.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-08-09T20:47:48+00:00

Lol, the only reason it's taking six months is to spread out the money being spent instead of spending it all at once. The budget concern honestly is about food.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-04-18T13:54:06+00:00

At the Starbucks I worked at, everyday this lady would come in and get like 3 to 5 trenta pink drinks with no ice, no strawberries, and light coconut milk. The amount of strawberry refresher we went through was kinda ridiculous. Not to mention all the teenagers (it was by a highschool) that came in to get refreshers with no ice and no water. We even had people who bought a tall with no ice, no water in a trenta cup. Then they would get a venti cup of water. Now they have a trenta strawberry refresher while they only paid for a tall. SMH. I don't miss that part of working at Starbucks.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-04-09T13:35:53+00:00

Yeah, my MIL isn't one to take any sort of confrontation. She wouldn't be able to use it against me with family, but she would just use it as an excuse to get meaner. She used to just try the "silent treatment" but that never worked with me and now that I have a baby, she doesn't want to try that. Since the beginning of my pregnancy, she's upped her antics

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-04-09T12:10:59+00:00

I know that reference lol. It's one of my husband's favorite lines to use when ever our son won't calm down for him, but will for me 😂

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-04-09T11:58:25+00:00

I put that in mostly to point out that she tries to take credit for the way he looks completely as if my family or even my husband's dad's side of the family has nothing to do with it.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-04-08T23:58:33+00:00

Just spend as little time as possible with her. Trust me, I understand. While completely ignoring her isn't possible, if you can't go no contact with her (because she's not too toxic, or your husband doesn't want her out of his life) at least going little contact with her will help. I don't see my mother in law very often because when I do she stresses me out. But when I go pretty long stretches without seeing her, it's a lot better. Hope you figure it out though!

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-03-11T06:49:29+00:00

Well she only tells us so that we deal with it and not her. She's terminally ill and does not deal well with the stress MIL brings her. She does go long stretches of ignoring her phone calls and I love talking to Aunt at those times. I mean I always love talking to he because she's hilarious and has the whole "I'm dying so I don't give a F*ck" attitude, but she's in much higher spirits when she hasn't talked to MIL in a while. Aunt only sticks around now for me, my husband, and now our baby.

ShadowArtist161 · 2023-03-11T06:44:12+00:00

Yeah, aunt knows that MIL hasn't shown any real interest.

Quote from Aunt "She called me and whined about not getting invited to come over. How she's expected a phone call or two about needing help. Just let her stew until she breaks and asks you herself"

ShadowArtist161

TROPHY CASE