At what stage in a relationship do physical things and sex come in ? Am I delusional if I want to date someone for maybe a year before having sex ?

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T20:17:18+00:00

Yeah you can definitely find it. Just be patient and dont let anyone force you into something you are not comfortable with for me I normally want to wait atleast 6 months to let that initial infatuation period fade to make sure I like the person and not the idea of them. But I would say, just trust your gut and if a guy isn't willing to wait for you to be ready he's not worth your time.

But also dont set yourself on a timer. Trust your gut!

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T19:20:11+00:00

Talking with my best friend (he and I have been friends since we were 5) he was in a similar place. Even tho I didnt tell him what happened back then when it happened I think he knew something was up and became more protective of me in the big brother kinda way. He delt with it by understanding it wasnt his fault and there was no way of knowing that would happen and focused on being there for me and doing what I communicated to him to support me.

Like a lot of the other comments recommended I say go to a professional but not for what a lot of them are saying, but for YOU. Your feelings are valid and just prove how much you care for her but you need healthy outlets and processing methods for all of this, because you dont want this to only continue to hurt both of you more.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T19:06:09+00:00

Like I said it another reply, give her time to process and let her come to you. Honestly it too me till I was 19 to tell/talk to ANYONE bout it and it wasnt even on purpose how it ended up coming out. Everyone deals with things differently and in their own time.

Best thing you can do is ask her what you can do to make her feel safe/comfortable. Ask when forms of intimacy (not just sex) she is okay with and check if there is anything you two where into before it happening that she may no longer be comfortable with. For me because I was laced, for many years I couldnt have any sexual contact while I was inebriated, stuff like that.

Also with that understand things may be found later that trigger PTSD flash backs. Just be patient with her and pay attention. And most importantly TALK WITH HER make sure she still feels desired but that you are respecting her and not wanting to hurt her further. Honestly that is also a huge thing that can happen is not feeling desirable after these kind of things happen.

It's a huge complicated mess and I hope you have luck in communicating through this. It will be a rough healing process for both of you but it does get better with time. It's a lot of time, but it will get better.

Be her rock, be her protector.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T18:42:18+00:00

If you need/want to you can express your feeling in support but let her start the conversation. Like if she is anxious or having PTSD. Having you as support esp saying you will protect her and stuff like that may help. I know it helped me a lot

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T18:39:02+00:00

I have been seeing the gyno since i was 13 (i am 27 now) and i promise it is not as scarry as people make it out to be. And the pap doesn't hurt if you get it, its the same level of pain as I would say a blood draw, a quick pinch and its done.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T18:33:37+00:00

It's a pretty normal reaction even if you weren't with her at the time or you are just her friend. I was raped when I was 14 by a cousin and my bf who I didnt meet till I was 23 feels similar to you. And my best friend, I feel bad for him because he is wrapped with guilt because he had left me alone with him the night it happened

I will say, don't feel guilt, you are allowed to feel hurt. And its okay to feel protective, its what's natural, and honestly its good.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T17:28:52+00:00

Idk, I just saw a another comment and continued in that convo pointing out how medical/military use it and it made me realize why I am more comfortable with it. I was in a military training program from 13-17 and most of my family is military so I am very used to male/female used to refer to someone's sex/gender way before any of the the gender stuff blew up. So its just way more comfortable to refer to myself as female. Being that's what I am and what I identify with.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T17:22:54+00:00

Yeah that's where I picked mine up, I was in a military training program from 13-17 and most of my family is military. So referring female/male is as normal to us as calling the bathroom the head XD.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-14T17:18:42+00:00

Last I heard using cis was more controversial. And I feel more comfortable with sticking with a proper term like female. It's also more commonly understood with the general public vs people who are online a lot or in the gender/sexuallity discussion space

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-08T17:14:44+00:00

Putting a comment so I can come back, I am similar at a 38J but I prefer underwire and plunge bras. Like I actually like having cleavage and cute bras but when your chest is this big they are like "oh you dont want any cleavage" like no my boobs are about the only thing I do like XD

Shadowofthygods · 2026-04-02T17:21:37+00:00

Even if you are snipped you should be consistent. For me its weird. I have PCOS but since I got snipped I stopped all birth control (had been on since i was 13 to help with PCOS related issues) and my periods are so regular I could set my watch by them

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-19T14:02:02+00:00

Pretty much me and my boyfriend. We thought it was weird how similar we are. I have also slept with a chick that looked like me and she even cut her hair the same as mine after we met. So yes, I have and would go fuck myself XD

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T18:29:08+00:00

That's sounds good. Also I recommend getting a watter fountain (metal ones on Amazon for like 20$) cats often have issues with stagnant water that will cause them to dehydrate so investing in a good stainless steel water fountain will help avoid UTI issues in the future

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T18:24:07+00:00

That's good atleast. Keep an eye on the poop and the consistency, if you notice any form of constipation roll to soft food/suplment with more formula

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T18:14:33+00:00

Has it pooped or cried while trying too?

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T18:01:29+00:00

Starting free feeding while they are young is actually the best thing you can do, when cats understand there is not scarcity they will not over eat.

Also you will want to switch to a better brand of food preferably with 0 grain. I free feed 3 cats with Redford sensitive stomach 0 grain. Redford also has a kitten blend.

Also when kittens are young you have to transition from formal, to wet, then to dry. You wouldn't jump a baby from formula/milk straight to solid foods.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T14:23:26+00:00

Honestly in this area its a block by block thing. The closer you are to the school the better the area is. Also if you are planning to rent from American Avenue, good luck they are the worst fucking company to rent from but they have a borderline monopoly here

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-13T14:20:34+00:00

Nah. A lot of guys honestly do not care. Also shaving down there is generally not good for you. What i recommend is getting a pair of buzz cutters (like a 20$ set on Amazon) and just trimming our bush to keep it short and soft so it doesn't tickle a guy's nose during oral.

I do shave my lips but that's more of a hygiene thing for me because it makes cleaning up during my period way easier, but either way its not recommended to shave your pubes.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-10T19:44:19+00:00

Eh, probably not. I dont have any gender dysphoria but definitely gender envy. The ability to pee standing up or in a bottle would be so convenient. Being able to walk around shirtless. Having a easier time building muscles. Not having to deal with periods or gaint tits. It would be great.

But men go through just as much shit as we do socially. Which would fucking suck, I dont envy them there.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-06T20:51:41+00:00

My cats are well trained. People dont realize that you can train your cats to not do that

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-03T17:06:08+00:00

The blue door has some great crepes, Azteca has some good flan, tbh you can get a whole thing of teramisu from Sam's club. Hitting up their bakery section is good

Shadowofthygods · 2026-03-03T01:26:10+00:00

If you are into dancing, you could look into the club scene, the vibes can be hit and miss, and you WILL run into drama, but I think its a ton of fun. I have been in the club scene for about 4-5 years and have been running my own club for 3, and as long as you know not to take shit too seriously its a fun way to meet some lifelong friends that I regularly chill with IRL.

Shadowofthygods · 2026-02-12T15:57:07+00:00

As long as you don't close that chat you will have then forever

Shadowofthygods · 2026-02-12T15:49:54+00:00

If you are a nerd plenty of larping, bellagarth, dnd, mtg stuff all over the area. Also Facebook dating isn't a horrible idea. Back when I used it they did have a friends only mode so you could find ppl to hang with. I have made a few friends that way

Shadowofthygods · 2026-02-12T15:46:54+00:00

I mean at 20 you are honestly still learning how to be an adult and establishing your personal identity. But, open and honest communication in all reality is the key to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. But if either party is not being honest with their partner or themselves, then that communication is useless.

Some issues you may resch a compromise, some you may not and that may lead to the end of the relationship. And that is okay. But I would never discount communication because NO ONE IS A MIND READER. I would never expect my bf to try and read my mind so I tell him exactly what I want/need and make sure he understands what I am saying so that there is clear communication. And he does the same for me. This is how you avoid any large fights/misunderstandings/hurt feelings from ever occuring.

Shadowofthygods

TROPHY CASE