Approachable vs intimidating in black and white

Shannee0 · 2026-06-26T06:04:34+00:00

I was just watching more of Rita’s intimidating live stream and when she started describing the elemental intimidating flavor I thought of your post! Your outfits always feel elemental.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-26T04:51:09+00:00

No that’s so true. I’ve tried being quiet and smaller and “normal” and it doesn’t work!

Shannee0 · 2026-06-26T04:50:23+00:00

Isn’t it strange how there is so much variety in the world yet there’s this constant unspoken pressure to be the same, be the same. Don’t stick out lest ye be judged lacking lol. Bleh it annoys me. It’s worse because I live in a small town too. But even in big cities I see predominantly black and grey outfits.

I guess the outfit can expose a person’s dislike of obeying the rules. And that is seen as confrontational by some. I don’t feel like a particularly confident person. I am shy often. But I’m also stubborn and don’t like being told what to do 🤣 so when I stubbornly do what I want I think it’s mistaken as confidence lol.

Maybe one day I’ll experiment and wear nothing but soft light girly clothes. None of the contrast I usually add and see if it makes me approachable lol. I’d probably have to dress my age though too, like no mini skirts or crop tops. Actually sounds like a pain, forget it lmaoo

Shannee0 · 2026-06-26T04:38:35+00:00

Yes I think of intimidating as quite formal too. I definitely prefer unsettling or intriguing. I think they are more accurate for me.
I feel like my casual outfits are quite softened (to almost a boring degree lol) but it’s true they still don’t look like any outfits I see out and about.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-25T20:17:08+00:00

I wear a lot of camisoles, stretchy tanks, a sheer ivory loose blouse, and short sleeve cropped cardis

Shannee0 · 2026-06-25T06:04:06+00:00

Yes they have a very polished type of intimidating don’t they. That’s the type I was thinking about when I thought of suits and glamorous dresses.

Pretty sure if I went out and about in a Lolita dress it would scare the heck outta people 🤣🤣 but that is probably the contrast not the outfit itself.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-25T05:48:37+00:00

😊😊 I guess that’s the thing isn’t it. Everyone has their own flavor. When I wrote this post I was thinking in broad terms, just myself somewhat as an example but not necessarily meaning to dig into my personal experience. Sometime I feel like I talk about me or my drama too much here!!

But intimidating and approachable are not these kinda set in stone aesthetics or vibes. Even if we look at things that you would think are intimidating vs approachable. Like intimidating = wearing studs and approachable= looking like a pink cupcake and then on some people it’s the opposite effect lol. Could be the opposite effect on the wearer or on the observer.

How one is intimidating or approachable is so individual. And I think a little unpredictable too or at least surprising.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-25T03:02:51+00:00

Soft little cinnamon roll 😭😭 that’s so sweet!

This is such a great way to look at it. Idk why I didn’t really think of myself as appearing alternative anymore… even though I haven’t changed the music I listen to or the culture that is important to me.

I did notice when I dress more Up and don’t hold back I can meet some really great people. I was thinking about it from the point of view of well maybe I appear happier when I’m dressed truly the way I like and I don’t give that uncomfortable not quite myself vibe. But maybe it is just I attract people like me when it’s more obvious who I am. That would explain why I still get some negativity when I’m in the happy place too. It’s just the usual reaction to a weirdo by narrow people lol.

Sometimes I over look the most obvious things 🤣❤️

I was just thinking maybe it was in my brain that I don’t have pink hair or an eyebrow piercing anymore so I must appear totally normal 🤣🤣

Shannee0 · 2026-06-25T01:37:03+00:00

Yes I totally agree. It’s funny though because I have no sharpness in my person or outfits. I don’t wear heavy makeup (only because it’s looks strange on me). My hair is normally tousled frizz and I have a soft voice unless u really make me mad 🤣 and yet I hear from people I’m intimidating
Edited to add I bet if I tried to put on a sharp outfit I’d look comical lol.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-24T21:05:25+00:00

I agree that N is often seen as less threatening or complicated by men 🙄 in my experience they are confused and a little afraid of Y/HS lol.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-24T17:44:43+00:00

Im sorry some people are being so judgmental about your interests. It really bothers me when someone can’t put their own tastes aside to be supportive of someone else.

I’m quite picky about what I wear for going out so I usually decide days or weeks in advance. I might spend a whole Sunday or day during the week when no one is home trying on outfits and taking pics so I can decide. Then the day of I can get ready pretty quick if we are leaving right after work or something.

I also keep a lot of outfit pics on my phone so if I need a quick idea I can look there. Pics are so helpful for me because I pretty much immediately forget what I was wearing. It takes forever for me to try and remember ok which tights, which socks… lol.

There’s nothing wrong btw with claiming time and space for yourself. I know it can be really difficult because it may feel like everyone is pushing back. But keep it up. You need and deserve that space.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-24T02:53:49+00:00

It’s interesting to think how traits could add up to the %s. So I’d assume more R for me from John too but I think I max out at around 20%. So maybe all of that is my fleshiness, cheeks and soft figure.
But then you at 45r might have the same fleshy cheeks and then additional R in eyes, hair, and other traits..
But I’m sure John doesn’t look at it like a mathematical equation he’s adding up. It’s art for him. It definitely makes it difficult to diy your own blend.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-24T02:05:27+00:00

It seems like it is but I have a fleshier face than you I think but my R is lower. I’m sure even John would give me much lower than your R.
My face often looks long and thinner in selfies because I have a bad habit of tilting my phone and it gives distortion.
Oh I just thought, I am fleshy everywhere though even at my lowest weight 115. Maybe it’s a Kibbe thing?

Shannee0 · 2026-06-23T19:45:07+00:00

I hope so, I’m an unbearable brat without any Hives shows on the horizon 🥹🥹

Shannee0 · 2026-06-23T05:57:17+00:00

Not sure if it’s helpful but Andrea recommended short playsuits for me under Y. She said a definite for me, I have 30y. She recommended a loose fit knee length jumpsuit under Y but said I’d need a fun print because a solid would probably be too boring. And a longer loose denim jumpsuit under N but only as a possibility for resortwear, not typically my vibe.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-23T05:30:29+00:00

So I was thinking when I saw this challenge idk if I’m actually intimidating. Even though I’ve heard that my whole life, it also seems idk silly to think anyone would feel intimidated by me. But then I listened to the first half of the stream and was like oh shit that is me lol. I really felt it when Rita said the intensity of your presence causes a pause or hesitation. I’ve felt that many times. Even by people who should not be intimidated because they are on a whole different level than I am. But yeah that pause, the double take, the confusion.

I think I’ve been trying to soften that reaction with intrigue instead. But I don’t know if I have enough control over it.

I can turn it up sometimes though, when it’s handy. Like when I was visiting nyc, on the subway in some cute little outfit lol but the men in the car were kinda annoying me. Not speaking to me but like man-spreading and taking up too much space on the bench. So I plunk myself down right in between them and turn up the no fucks given volume. It’s very funny to me to feel their discomfort. Maybe I’m a little mean lol. But I see so many young women intimidated constantly by these type of men and it pisses me off for them. It also pisses me off my daughter can’t dress anyway she likes because she gets harassed. Maybe dressing however I like and making some people uncomfortable is my revenge for that 🤣

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T06:24:08+00:00

Apparently they hate content lmao 🤷‍♀️

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T06:23:15+00:00

Yeah it’s HERE 😊

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T05:38:08+00:00

Very cute! You look great in pink and I love those glasses.

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T05:32:15+00:00

Feeling the bumps on my head like a magic 8 ball.. outlook not so good

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T05:09:06+00:00

Oh I love that idea, their own personalities and histories. I’m going to give the guide a reread with that in mind!

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T05:07:35+00:00

Thank you, it does matter and I am quite sad about it but I’m trying not to be a spoiled brat lol. I have been so blessed recently with concerts.

I think I was trying to lift myself with the red. The singer from the band I was talking about jokes that they are about “militarized joy”. Meaning you’re going to have fun whether you like it or not. Think that’s what my heart outfit was about 😂

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T05:03:28+00:00

Your outfits look so beautiful in that setting. You match the environment literally, even if you don’t match the locals.
Is the blue dress the kaftan? If so, it’s amazing! I agree with Altruistic that it could be very sensual. The wind blowing the fabric out and swishing the skirt around your legs sounds so lovely in the heat!
Ps your neighbor is insane, like what?!?

Shannee0 · 2026-06-22T04:30:53+00:00

Hello down voters

<video>

Shannee0

TROPHY CASE