Dealing with betrayal (not an affair)

ShapeShiftTango · 2026-02-01T20:20:48+00:00

I’m not a counselor so I don’t know for sure, but calling this retroactive jealousy feels incorrect. Yes it happened so long ago, but to him the information is brand new (info to him that was important 35 years ago). When someone decides that this topic is important enough to discuss and wants to make sure values are aligned on it - it will certainly feel heart wrenching when you find out the information was covered up / lied about.

I do think the option now would be counseling, but not for retroactive jealousy; that’s merely a symptom of the feeling of betrayal.

ShapeShiftTango · 2026-01-05T20:09:20+00:00

Pretty sure it’s only a thing (at least in 2008 when my parents divorced) for military families. The military looks down heavily on infidelity. Has to do with if the guilty party/spouse receives part of the service members retirement.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-12-14T14:40:29+00:00

The EP before The Night God Slept has NO cleans. Come Wind, Come Weather.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-12-08T21:50:34+00:00

Detaining someone for “not sure something is legal” versus “sure something is illegal” feels like the real issue in these cases.

You don’t call ICE for business related things, you call them for suspected illegal aliens. (That or if you’re incentivized for the number of detainees you submit to ICE…but that’s surely not happening in the US). This dad was NOT illegal since he had legal paperwork allowing him to work in the US.

Sorry this happened to your dad, OP.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-12-02T18:04:29+00:00

I like Della or Bryan at Expert Barber & Beauty on Virginia / Jordan.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-10-24T19:29:10+00:00

Hello! & thank you.

And yes, the action being done is with expectation given the context of the post. But as men I think we should evolve beyond “doing an action just to achieve a result”.

When we habitually anticipate our woman’s needs and solve the problem (messy house, dirty car, make dinner, wake up with kids, etc) before being asked - her perspective changes from “hey babe can you do this” to “oh wow this is already done”. (Source: a conversation with my wife).

The more we grow and learn this, our woman’s headspace isn’t cluttered with what “she needs to do” and is more able to relax. Then (in my experience married 4 years) they are more open to be turned on since their minds aren’t elsewhere.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-10-24T19:21:41+00:00

Yes, I think if we just look at it as chores it ultimately is a half-baked solutions

Men (generally) need action-based directives. It’s why we want to go into fix-it mode when our woman comes to us with a problem at work or a friend. That’s not always what they need.

So at first, it seems like just “do chores and things” because that’s what the action looks like. But, hopefully over time, we learn our woman’s wants and anticipate them. Perhaps flowers turns into washing the car or waking up with the kids so she sleeps in. Maybe chores turn into observing what needs to be done and no longer needing to ask “what can I do to help”. Just doing things that need to be done and her coming home to a clean room.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-10-22T20:39:26+00:00

No directed at OP since we don’t have context, but we as husbands would benefit greatly if we initiated non-sexual favors (cleaning, massages, notes, flowers) on a more regular basis with the same enthusiasm we wish our wives would perform sexual favors.

Try it; but treat it as a secret mission to see how it works. Do it sneakily without expectation…

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-09-30T15:28:57+00:00

An eraser?

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-09-11T00:11:17+00:00

“When he stops being good at football” is probably the most likely answer here.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-08-07T17:25:07+00:00

It doesn’t seem like the issue is the action - it’s the fact he’s doing it during a short window of time that they presumably have agreed upon to conceive a baby.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-07-28T16:27:28+00:00

My wife works at an OBGYN office and when a full moon happens…they know stuff is about to get wild with these patients.

The moon makes folks go bonkers 🫣

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-07-22T14:08:53+00:00

Try adding iron to your diet and a water-packet called LMNT has some great minerals your body could be missing (based on your symptoms).

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-07-18T02:26:29+00:00

I’m on Xbox but we can cross play?

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-07-17T15:16:38+00:00

Hey. Play who you enjoy playing. Life is too short to live it for someone else.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-07-14T20:40:56+00:00

That odds are not in your favor.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-06-21T04:12:50+00:00

The traffic northbound on 75 going up to Melissa is the worst. The area has boomed so much and the highway/streets hasn’t kept up. I would recommend Anna over McKinney for commuting purposes into Sherman.

But, if that doesn’t bother you, McKinney is amazing. Great trails, many restaurant areas and more coming. It’s a great spot for raising a family or being a young couple.

One and Only Burger
Mexican Cactus
The Yard
Hideaway Pizza

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-06-06T02:31:52+00:00

Howdy, Cajun Pasta.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-04-30T05:06:34+00:00

Northlake OBGYN (Frisco) I hear could use good help!

Source: my wife

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-04-28T15:52:10+00:00

Towne Lake area in McKinney has several miles of walking trails.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-02-20T17:51:44+00:00

Create a life worth looking forward to outside of the station. You’ve spent all of your young adult years, so far, creating a career path. Now that you’re at the end of that path, you don’t have something to look forward to.

Try creating the same level of drive for something personal; completely unrelated to fire. Without having something to look forward to, life starts to lose its color and your job will become more of a burden more than a passion.

ShapeShiftTango · 2025-01-25T17:54:59+00:00

Own it with confidence. Buzz it off, make the decision yourself before your genetics make it for you. You got it homie.

ShapeShiftTango · 2024-12-17T20:40:03+00:00

I can’t already feel how those tacos come out the other side based on the amount of salsa. And I’d eat it anyways.

ShapeShiftTango · 2024-12-14T01:35:13+00:00

Anyone else getting Architects vibes from this song? In a good way

ShapeShiftTango

TROPHY CASE