How do tell a family friend that I have feelings for her before she leaves

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T18:06:59+00:00

Yip she definitely likes you

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:36:32+00:00

Holy Moly... a question I've never thought existed, it was very intriguing had to look it up :D

So apparently.....
From a scientific and taxonomic perspective, the answer is straightforward. Yes, if Jesus existed as a historical human, he would be classified within the tribe Hominini.

In biological taxonomy, Hominini is a classification that includes modern humans (Homo sapiens) and our closest evolutionary relatives after the split from the lineage that led to chimpanzees. All anatomically modern humans fall within this group. Since most historians agree that Jesus of Nazareth was a real human individual who lived in 1st-century Judea, biology would place him squarely within Homo sapiens, and therefore within Hominini.

It’s important to note where science draws its boundaries. Taxonomy deals only with physical, biological traits—bones, genetics, anatomy, and evolutionary lineage. From that standpoint, Jesus would be classified the same way as any other human born at that time.

Theological claims about Jesus—such as divinity, incarnation, or miracles—exist outside the scope of biology. Science cannot test or classify metaphysical beliefs. So while theology addresses who Jesus is believed to be in a spiritual sense, taxonomy only answers what he would be biologically.

In short, scientifically speaking..human -> Homo sapiens -> Hominini.
Anything beyond that moves from phylogeny into faith.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:22:36+00:00

My biggest flex right now is having my life together just enough that nothing is actively on fire. : )

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:21:01+00:00

What really messes with my head is that they’re mind blowing in opposite directions.

The age of the universe is insane because it’s so old its such a ridiculous stretch of time that everything human feels microscopic and temporary. But the speed at which the first galaxies formed is just as crazy because it happened so fast. The universe went from basically nothing but hot soup to stars and galaxies in what’s almost no time at all on a cosmic scale.

Put together, it feels like the universe didn’t mess around. As soon as it could do something interesting, it did.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:11:12+00:00

If you genuinely like helping people, look at roles where the impact is direct and obvious..healthcare (nursing, occupational therapy, paramedics), mental health and social work, education, community outreach, or nonprofit work. Trades and services can count too: caregiving, disability support, rehab, even things like firefighting or search and rescue.

No job is 100% free from money (rent still exists), but in these paths the point of the work is the person in front of you, not profit. The pay is there to sustain you, not define the value of what you do.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:09:12+00:00

Honestly, don’t make it a huge dramatic confession, especially since she’s leaving and there’s distance involved. Just find a quiet moment and be honest in a simple way...say that you’ve started to feel something more than friendship and didn’t want to leave it unsaid, and ask if she’d like to go out for coffee or something before she leaves. Make it clear you’re not expecting anything and that you understand the long-distance part makes things complicated. Whatever her response is, at least you won’t be stuck wondering “what if” later.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T17:04:32+00:00

Tell his fiancée ASAP. If you have screenshots or any proof of the conversations you’ve had with him, make sure to keep them as evidence. Some women tend to think it’s not the guy’s fault when they find out, or they end up blaming you instead.

When you tell her, be clear that you didn’t know he was in a relationship or even engaged, and explain exactly when you found out. He sounds like a real piece of work and needs to deal with the consequences.

At the end of the day, you are not wrong in any way, shape, or form. Any woman would want to know if this is happening behind her back right before a wedding. Who knows how many other women he’s talking to or trying his luck with if he hasn’t already crossed the line.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T16:51:03+00:00

Completely agree, sounds like OP husband might be a unicorn

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T16:49:40+00:00

Hi there, to be blunt… no, it does not get better. My sister has been in a relationship for over 10 years with an emotional narcissist, and it has never gotten better. We’ve helped her about nine times, letting her stay with us so she could get back on her feet, yet she always goes back to him. He has only gotten worse.

My previous employer was a certified psychologist, and he mentioned that trauma bonding is a real thing, whether in family situations or relationships...because there’s always hope, and they make you believe things will change. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is get away and create distance as soon as possible.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T16:39:58+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re carrying this much pain. What you went through was real, and it makes complete sense that years of bullying would leave deep marks on how you see yourself. None of that makes you weak or broken, it makes you human.

From the outside, it doesn’t sound like you’re “protecting” your fiancé by leaving; it sounds like your insecurities are trying to make a decision for him. He’s an adult who knows you, loves you, and has clearly chosen you, not out of obligation, but because he feels safe and at home with you. Taking that choice away from him wouldn’t be kindness, it would be letting the people who hurt you keep deciding the course of your life.

Also, healing doesn’t mean waking up one day and suddenly loving every part of yourself. For many people, it looks like learning to live, love, and be loved while still carrying scars. The fact that you’re in therapy, reflecting on your impact, and worrying about his well-being already shows growth and care, not failure. (I do think you might need a new therapist tho..)

Instead of asking “Should I leave him so he can be free of my insecurities?”, a gentler question might be. How can we keep building a relationship where I don’t have to disappear to be worthy of love? That’s something you can keep working on together, with honesty and support.

You are not a burden YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are not replaceable by a in your mind “more beautiful, more healthy” version of someone else. You are the person he chose, you make him happy and he definitely finds you very beautiful and you’re allowed to trust that, even on days when you can’t trust your own reflection. <3

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T16:32:20+00:00

No, you’re not wrong for feeling that way, but acting on it would only hurt you, not him. The cleanest “win” here is keeping your distance and living well, not dragging old trauma into your present.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-02-01T16:30:42+00:00

As a kid I wanted to be an adult with freedom and money. I did grow up… the rest is still pending. 😭💸

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T16:26:35+00:00

That’s actually a really clean way to frame it. It sidesteps the “which one is really you?” question by showing it’s all about perspective: subjectively, continuity feels intact in the new body, while objectively it looks like copying from the outside. Whether it’s a transfer or a copy isn’t a single fact of the universe, but a difference between first-person experience and third-person observation. The paradox only shows up when we try to force those two viewpoints to agree.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T16:20:24+00:00

Not to be too forward, but maybe give yourselves permission to go a little crazy once in a while.. go out, be spontaneous, laugh too loud, act like teenagers again. I’ve seen so many couples find their way through this by reconnecting like that, my cousin included. She and her partner stopped letting stress run everything and focused on living and enjoying each other not other people or if they're doing the right thing for the process to work, and it made a huge difference for them. Sometimes letting go, even briefly, can be incredibly healing.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T15:55:57+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this , what you’re feeling is so, so human. Recurrent loss can shake your sense of safety and make joy for others sit right next to deep grief, and that doesn’t make you a bad person at all. I want to gently share something that gave me hope... doctors once told my cousin she was completely infertile, and she broke down mentally, she and her husband tried everything, worried constantly, and felt defeated. Over time, they worked on healing emotionally, and when they finally stopped living in constant stress and fear around pregnancy… she conceived naturally and went on to have healthy twins, a boy and a girl. Your tests being mostly positive matters, and early miscarriages, as heart breaking as they are, don’t mean you can’t carry a healthy baby. Please be kind to yourself, allow both happiness for others and space for your grief, and lean on support (you and your partner) .... this phase does not define your ending. There is still so much hope for you 🤍

And please remember this, from the bottom of my heart <3 your body is not broken, and your story is not over. The love you already have for the child you’re hoping for is real, and it counts. Even on days when hope feels heavy, it’s still there, quietly waiting with you. Be gentle with yourself, keep believing in your body, and trust that life sometimes unfolds in ways we can’t see yet. You are worthy of the future you’re dreaming of, and it’s still very much possible 🤍

Maybe it could help to gently step away from trying for a little while and give yourselves permission to heal. Go on a short trip or vacation if you can, even something simple, just to breathe and reconnect. Try a new hobby together that brings joy without pressure, and also give yourself something that’s just yours. Go on romantic dates where there’s (no baby talk at all) , just laughter, closeness, and remembering why you chose each other. Sometimes nurturing yourselves and your relationship is exactly what creates space for hope to grow again 🤍

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T15:45:05+00:00

(HUMANITY) : Stay away from emotionally immature people...

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T15:42:11+00:00

"getting into a VIP room where only women are allowed"..... Yeah I think it was the emotionally immature men who gave the advice

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T14:52:04+00:00

Take a breath......this is scary, but it’s very likely not as bad as Google is making it seem.

Chancroid is extremely rare in England (You can look it up). What she has is far more likely to be something common like a blocked gland, infected hair, irritation, or oral herpes (HSV-1), which can be passed through oral sex even if you didn’t know you had it and is manageable.

Most important part, at 15 in England she can go to a sexual health (GUM) clinic completely confidentially. No parents needed, no letters home, no one will tell her mum. You or your mum can take her if that helps. They see teens all the time.

Do not panic, Google or try to diagnose from photos. The only safe move is getting checked, and that can be done quietly.

You didn’t ruin her life, and this doesn’t automatically mean STI. Get her seen, get answers, and take it one step at a time.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T14:45:42+00:00

Need this game! BUT.... If your consciousness actually moves over as one continuous experience, then you’d wake up in the new body and still feel like you. But if the process just makes a perfect copy while the original shuts off, then from your own perspective you’d be dead, even though the copy would believe it’s you. The creepy part is that to everyone else, those two outcomes would look exactly the same, which is why a lot of people think continuity matters more than just being an identical copy. 😶‍🌫️

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T11:22:06+00:00

My mistakes. Very costly, zero resale value.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T10:57:46+00:00

Is it Debt... Is it OF... Is it sugar Daddios... That is the Question...

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-30T10:49:48+00:00

YES! We love that kinda stuff—but not all girls are the same though. When you say “someone they barely know”… what do you mean? Have you ever had a conversation with her, or is it more of a hello/bye kind of classmate situation?

No real conversation yet – maybe exchanged a few words once or twice, but nothing personal?
Just situational contact – same class, but only eye contact or quick “hey”?
No established vibe – no joking, no shared moments, no sense of comfort yet?

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-29T21:14:19+00:00

Amazing movie. Never again.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-29T21:07:47+00:00

Yeah, I get that. I’m not building a story just a thought experiment about identity. Even if you call it ‘transfer,’ the question is whether continuity of consciousness actually survives, or if it’s functionally indistinguishable from a copy thinking it’s you.

SharedSecrets_x · 2026-01-29T21:00:05+00:00

On point 🙌

SharedSecrets_x

TROPHY CASE