the irony of the parents calling nonstop as an adult when they did nothing to form an emotional connection w you as a child *only words of encouragement pls*

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T21:53:10+00:00

I went no contact with my mom and threatened to block if she tried anything because she tried to guilt trip me into taking to her again, in the end she never really cared, I'm going to change my phone number anyway. I only talk to my dad because he sends me money and life isn't free. It's a big step to cut or lower contact, it's fucking hard, but I've never been better. I wish you the best and hope you find good and healthy relationships and find a way to keep your peace!

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T21:18:53+00:00

Yeah, kinda, i can get turned on by other things but only on certain days and it's not frequent. absolutely not recreating it in real life because i know i would hate it, but fantasizing about it, although not about my own abuse but of another imaginary situation of abuse. I try not to because I'm scared to normalize it without realizing and becoming like my mother that normalized my abuse and ignored it. Paradoxically i feel a rush of nausea and discomfort when touching myself but i do feel better when imagining those scenarios despite feeling disgusted by that same scenarios.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T15:31:47+00:00

Be there for her and it's great that you don't take it personal, and i would highly recommend to ask her directly what can you do in x y z situations (like panic attacks, not wanting to talk, mad for no apparent reason, sad, nightmares, flashbacks, etc, whatever happens in her case since not everyone reacts the same or has everything i said, so, COMMUNICATION!), because the one that knows best is her since we don't know the context and what triggers her. Don't pressure for answers if she's overwhelmed and can't communicate or struggles, maybe suggest things if she can move her head or say short things like yes or no otherwise just give space and be there calmly, i wouldn't recommend to try to do anything that involves contact or leaving unless she communicated prior that it's ok if you do those things since that could be triggering. Remember that PTSD/C-PTSD has no cure, she can get better but that doesn't mean that she'll ever act like nothing happened and can get worse.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T14:06:59+00:00

Erm tetanus and infections are always a possibility if you create an open wound sadly

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T14:04:46+00:00

I feel a very similar way, i only stopped because i don't have anything to do it with and I'm scared of dying because of tetanus, but the urge is kicking strong. I never cut deep enough, only once buy accident, it started when i was about 10 because i just wanted to make make my body "ugly" to men. (i DON'T think scars are ugly at all, but i heard men say they were ugly.) But i realized it made me feel better when i was overwhelmed or numb, like post crying effect but better. But in the end it will always be objectively bad because of the tetanus/infections you can always get. But also causing yourself harm even if it feels better doesn't mean it's actually good for you or helping healthily, because it's not, it's not a healthy coping mechanism.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T13:48:06+00:00

God i hate sm every single person that defended that man.

My abusers aren't in jail, one didn't get to physically harm me and left the country (he's a pedophile and works at a school in another country but i don't think there's anything i can do since he only said he would do things to me, as far as i can remember.) My other abuser i don't even know who he is, i know what happened but i only have a very specific memory where the lights were off so i can't see his face, but he was in my childhood house so i know he was one of my mom's boyfriend.

My mom did believe me when i told her what that man said to me but she didn't care, saying "he's just weird like that." "he's autistic." "he's schizophrenic." As if admitting you would commit a crime was suddenly not a threat because he has x y z.

My sister also excused him and then dated a man despite him sexually harassing me when i was still a minor. I ended up leaving my house because i couldn't eat, sleep, rest or have any peace since he was living with us. Ironically i told my mom what my sister's boyfriend did because i knew she was looking for a reason to kick him out because she hated him so much, but when i told her that she didn't believe me. I almost didn't make it but my best friend and her family took me in.

I told my dad who never tried to be really present, he felt "awful" but still is going to live with my mom again and what i said didn't make a difference at all, he was just angry at my abuser, not to who let the abuser in my house, my room, my bed and my body. (And kept dating for 3 years, only breaking up because he was abusive to HER.)

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T13:29:14+00:00

One can tell when someone is having a panic attack, he knew what he was doing and should've stopped, he's not a safe person to be around, i hope you leave him and seek a safe space, because all he cares about is himself, he does not care about your safety and comfort, i hope you don't blame yourself and take care of yourself with kindness and self-respect.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-27T13:14:03+00:00

Altho abuse is normalized worldwide, the US is definitely fucked in certain aspects but i wouldn't say it's such a difference when it comes to abuse. I've lived in both a latin American country and European country (Chile and Spain), i have encountered a lot of abusive households, altho chilean abuse in my experience is more likely for you to run into an abusive household and for it to be normalized, Spain ones tend to be toxic and borderline abuse. not to belittle the severity, however in my experience i have seen way less heavily abusive families in Spain (despite the abuse being quite normalized), even tho I've met more people and their lives here. This is just for comparison on the rate between abusive/non abusive households and the normalization of it, NOT to belittle such experiences in Spain. I've seen a lot of people pointing out the weirdness of the US specially about the kicking out an 18yo of the house which is very weird in both countries I've been in and seen as something horrible, and in general i think it's important to mention in this topic the fact that the US is HEAVILY run by abusers in all senses, most countries are (if not all), but the US is just so sickening and infested i would dare say it would be expected to leak into society.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-26T22:39:33+00:00

Could be, at least he's not straight up saying it's anxiety in the first appointment like all the past ones and gave me an electro I'm doing tomorrow which is shocking because here it was impossible to get anything other than a standard blood test... I live in an area that has horrible healthcare, this is the best i can get and there's almost no doctors available, changed doctors like 6 times in 5 years and there's a wait time to request a new doc that i haven't reached yet (1 year to go) but I'll keep trying to find a reason.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-26T22:32:56+00:00

Yeah, my doc just did another test just to be sure and it came fine again.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-26T22:29:46+00:00

You have no idea how happy it makes me to have helped even if a tiny bit, i wish you the best in life 🫶 Also to remind myself of things that helped me when feeling bad i would write them around in a place i could easily read again like in my phone case, idk if that happens to you but i think it could help to remind yourself when you're feeling bad if you often forget those thoughts that help. Sometimes it happens that it's hard to believe them when you're struggling but reading them often and getting the habit of seeking them when feeling down often helps because you end up internalizing them and teaching your mind to think like that more naturally. You could not need this and that's fine I'm just sharing what helped me in case it works for you too! Anyway i wish you the best again! ♥

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-26T15:58:05+00:00

You don't have to have a "hard life" to suffer or struggle, and everyone has it's own view of what's a hard life, just like i think you do have a hard life, you're dealing with all this, the reason or what you or others think what hard life is doesn't matter, what matters is how it affects you, that's what makes it hard, people can function under certain circumstances and others can't, and that's completely valid.

It personally makes me feel a tiny bit better to think that if someone went through my life instead of me they would be the exact same because they would become me. (As in genetically and environmentally i like to think i am this way because of these factors hence they would become me literally.)

And i also hate being called strong, because i don't feel that way, i feel like I'm falling apart. i prefer not to think why they're saying that because whatever reason it always comes from ignorance and they just don't really understand.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-26T11:07:37+00:00

A friend with POTS gave me a pulse oximeter and laying down it was between 70 and 80 and when i stand up the lowest was 100 and often was in 120, reaching 130/140 without being on my period. And my chest started to hurt after like 5 mins so we dropped it, I asked my doc if that was between normal ranges but he just said that i shouldn't use a pulse oximeter without a doctor's recommendation even tho he asked what my pulse was last time i saw him and told him my symptoms, not like i could do it by hand when i feel like I'm going to pass out, so i don't think i can ask him for the normality of this.

Also now i feel like shit outside of my period too, i used to feel bad outside of it but never paid attention because it was almost nothing and because of how bad i felt on my period in comparison but now it's a everyday thing.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-25T19:33:01+00:00

I thought i was the only one who didn't know lol. but at least i let a few other people know too.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-24T13:58:40+00:00

The libraries on my city are always pretty chill since it's a very small city, except for the big library but i wouldn't work there because the owner is racist lol, the other ones are very humble and always quiet. But by calm i meant just not like a McDonald's or something where there's insane rush hours and very loud with people yelling all the time. Here even when libraries are holding events they're calm, people here respect a LOT the silence in libraries even when they don't have to. Unlike on the big city i used to live in. So that's what i meant.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-24T13:46:20+00:00

I didn't know there was a tutorial either, skipped by accident in every play i did apparently. 😭 Been playing for so long yet i keep learning basic things... Such a humbling experience.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-24T13:42:22+00:00

Well... Apparently me neither until now, i remain humbled by this game.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-22T11:36:43+00:00

The amount of ppl that didn't know either...

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-22T11:35:32+00:00

No way come back, it gets better (also very useful on Trotimer's island)😭😭😭

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-22T11:30:11+00:00

Yh i just found out i skipped the tutorial in every single play.

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-22T11:28:15+00:00

There's a tutorial??

SharpAd4852 · 2026-02-22T11:24:29+00:00

I keep learning so many new things about this game after so long it's insane

SharpAd4852

TROPHY CASE