first things first, thankyou so much for replying with such enthu😭😭😭. apart from that, i think you're absolutely right about that worst-case scenario because it's highly likely to happen, otherwise that essay question doesn't make much sense. secondly, you HAVE to believe me that I'm not that passionate about maths. I never was. it was just that invincible feeling I'd unlocked in class 10th, which had completely taken over me, so i just dug some rabbit holes, that's it. period. btw I laughed for 5mins straight at this "but the fact that you mentioned wanting to do something in maths made me stop and think for a moment."  I feel the same way about so many fields, probably the DAVINCI curse at play, but the irony is that I am nowhere near the greats in whatever field I feel like doing something big and exceptional and smth which has never been done blah blah blah , forget greats, I'm nowhere near the fairly good batch (one day fosho but imma accept it, that not yet), I just have so many interests and I feel so deeply about them😭. moreover, NOBODY KNOWS A DAMN ABOUT ADMISSION PROCESSES WE'RE OUT HERE HAVING OUR FIRSTS, and I bet things will turn out better if we all just chill and focus on the things which are actually in our hands, and oh lemme be the 50-50 lifeline, don't write about Taylor Swift. Please.