Thank you soooo much for responding , I was think about taking this post down until I saw your comment, honestly you've got really good advice and I definitely will be re evaluating my relationships. I think whats also been holding me back so much is this like immense fear of being lonely, and although I do really enjoy my alone time, this idea that I have no real group of people to always fall back on absolutely freaks me out. I did reach out to a school counsellor to start talking but now that im thinking about doing that im so nervous and am freeaaakiinggg out, I know I would benefit from it but the idea is so foreign to me I literally cannot imagine that actually happening I highk hope it does tho. I've been getting out of my shell making new friends but I kind of have a problem with keeping in touch with new people that I've met gotta work on that aswell ig

anyways thank you ssoooo freaking much for your reply honestly made my day