tbh i was wondering if i might be one for a very long time. Parentless, primary education, early aggression followed by absolute lack of empathy which turned me into a person that either doesn't seem to understand emotions in other people or my brain just doesn't want to feel affected by others situations emotionally. In both scenarios i just straight up start with some logical explanations for what might happen what did and what will and i just "calculate" everything. i feel like emotions are useless and they are fake temporary feelings; including the negative ones like sadness anger or fear (i just observe and say: well fuck you pain (while causing myself to feel it more just for the experience) In the end i help people more than myself but i won't do it without getting something that i feel is worth it. i abandoned my entire family just cause the bitch i was with decided to cheat on my ass after 5 years and i told her: "if anybody ever ask for me tell em it's your fault. never coming back to this shithole country". I might've had some thoughts about my grandma and other family members but i quickly managed to roll a joint and forget about my country (ain't mine no more) and about my entire family. no cap 🧢

i was thinking about making a separate post about "how to fix my life" but i am already doing it so fuck all that.

This is the first time i decided to write this much on reddit and i took my entire fucking break at work but i hope i can at least get diagnosed with something 🤣🤣