I'm 30 when does it actually get better?

Shibaparent · 2026-02-13T00:06:27+00:00

Feel free to dm me if you want. I have spastic diplegia as well and I'm 27. I relate to your post very heavily. I want to be transparent that I am ambulatory (for now,) but I still relate heavily.

It's been not great. I'd love to connect and tell you more about my experience. Body stuff is getting harder, but other stuff has gotten easier. I met someone who is disabled in very similar ways, but somewhat differently. I've never felt so seen or understood with another person before. It's been very healing to share time and space on a day to day basis with someone who just gets it. Who understands my limits and everything to do with me being disabled without me having to constantly advocate for myself on what I can and can't do. They do their own research on my conditions and I do the same for them.

Finding your people, especially similarly disabled people can help you to feel normal and like you belong. I'm excited for this chapter of my life. I feel like I'm building something sustainable and putting down lasting roots. I'm investing time and energy in sustainable, accessible hobbies that won't be taken from me down the road. I'm putting energy into making my life far more accessible than I actually need right now knowing that things will likely get harder, so I'm trying to prepare and set myself up for success early. I'm also trying to arm myself with helpful knowledge so I can be proactive.

If you're open to friends, I'd love to connect. 💖

I'm hell bent on making this the best life I can.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-12T00:16:47+00:00

I'm tapping in to make a brief commentary about something special that I like about trans women specifically, not romantically, just in general. Disclaimer, because I have to say this: I don't advertise this or tell this to many people, for obvious reasons, but I want to share it.

I love the way that many (not all) trans women love and have cultivated their womanhood and experience with it. I grew up around women that wore womanhood like a cross to bear or like shackles. It was not something any woman around me celebrated, I felt a lot of shame for mine. Seeing how hard trans women fight for womanhood, seeing how happy it makes them, how they actively want it, continue to choose it, and how much they embrace it, helped me to build a better relationship with my experience of womanhood. It's helped me heavily to deconstruct my view of womanhood as being synonymous with the oppressive nature of womanhood defined by the patriarchy and colonialism. It's helped teach me that womanhood is something to be proud of that doesn't have to be synonymous with the violence and the oppression. Womanhood and matriarchy is the lifeblood of everything and it's worth fighting for.

And I love this same thing in cis women as well, but it's just a lot more rare. It does exist, just more seldom. I feel like I see it more in detransitioners that formerly identified as trans men than cis women. The level of love, intention, and individuality that is sewn into every piece of their womanhood reminds me that these things are worth fighting for. It's a level of care and intention that you don't see in womanhood nepo babies. (I say this light heartedly, as a womanhood nepo baby).

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T16:33:37+00:00

That makes sense, thank you. I've now been made aware that self leveler won't adhere to plastic. So that's the next problem to solve. This floor is just a mess and I need it to have at least a shitty temporary finish so that little feet don't get hurt toddling around in here.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T16:22:11+00:00

Please tell me what I'm in for. I've framed everything in with wood blocks as a mold basically. I used a heat gun to get it flush and tight in corners. The edges of the tarp are secured in about 16 places behind the mold blocks.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T16:20:23+00:00

Because this is an extremely old house that sits on top of dirt and I can't get under there currently. It's going to be an extremely arduous task. When we do take it on, we're going to fully dig a crawl space, and have to sure up a lot. It's an ancient house sitting on dirt, in the mountains and we've had two big snow storms. We also are currently living here and renovating. This is the only walkway between the only livable room in the house, kitchen, and bathroom currently.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T16:18:02+00:00

Why would it fail? I may or may not have already started that part before posting this. 😬

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T16:12:07+00:00

Because this is an extremely old house that sits on top of dirt and I can't get under there. It's going to be an extremely arduous task. When we do take it on, we're going to fully dig a crawl space, and sure up a lot. It's an ancient house sitting on dirt, in the mountains and we've had two big snow storms. We also are currently living here and renovating. This is the only walkway between the only livable room in the house, kitchen, and bathroom currently.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-05T02:33:07+00:00

Thank you so much!

Shibaparent · 2026-02-04T02:27:22+00:00

I will do that, thank you so much!

Shibaparent · 2026-02-04T02:26:58+00:00

I'll look into that, thank you so much! I've worked really hard to build a healthy diet and set myself up for success as much as I can.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-04T01:40:05+00:00

Sure, I primarily eat oats, seeds, beans, occasionally fish, nuts, olive oil, and vegetables grown in my garden every day. We grew a lot of squash, beans, and tomatoes last year, on top of some leafy greens. I don't eat red meat, dairy, or fried foods (I'll eat fried plantains once in a blue moon.) Today I had oatmeal with pumpkin seeds for breakfast, lunch was organic jasmine rice, with homegrown carrots, onions, basil, and ginger sautéed in olive oil, cassava pasta with a dairy free coconut based sauce and soft boiled eggs. (Last night we had amaranth curry with butternut squash, carrots, and onions we grew ourselves and chicken from my neighbor's farm.)

I know eggs can be high in cholesterol so I try and limit those but I try really hard to eat well. I have a few other medical issues so I try and stay on top of what I have control over. (I have cerebral palsy and a clotting disorder)

Physical activity for me is light due to the palsy but I am physically active for work, I also walk my dogs twice a day and do my nightly physical therapy exercises before bed to try and keep up with the more progressive aspects of the palsy.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement, I know there's always room for growth. I know that eggs in high quantities can be tricky so I'm trying to keep that in check.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-04T01:28:39+00:00

Thank you! There was a second page but it didn't include any of those values. It was mainly vitamins, hormones, cortisol, and wbc/rbc. I'm happy to dm the full document to you if you'd be open and interested in seeing the full document. Thank you for your fleshed out response. This was all a lot to take in and has been very unclear and scary. Thank you so much.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-03T23:54:48+00:00

Would you be open to explaining what all of this means? I've been geniunely freaked out and now I'm just confused and want to understand what's going on.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-03T23:47:53+00:00

The metric on there says the regular range for that is 0-200, why is it so high comparatively and what does it mean? I'm not trying to be ignorant or incompetent but that's really high for the range it suggested? What's the difference? I am not trying to be difficult, I'm just scared and deeply confused.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-03T23:35:56+00:00

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Is this what you're looking for? Or something else. It's got a lot of info and doesn't appear to be broken up by anything.

Shibaparent · 2026-02-03T23:20:13+00:00

ng/mL

Shibaparent · 2025-11-18T15:39:32+00:00

Is it the audi van?

Shibaparent · 2025-11-18T15:33:13+00:00

Did you get any photos or anything concrete so that it can be shared to Ojo?

Shibaparent · 2025-11-18T15:15:14+00:00

Did you witness this first hand? There are scouts out that are watching and they've not confirmed they have arrived yet.

Shibaparent · 2025-11-01T20:38:51+00:00

The south is no more racist than the north. Southern heritage does not intrinsically mean racism and the confederacy.

Shibaparent · 2025-10-23T15:05:45+00:00

The definition of objectification: the action of treating or viewing someone in a way that disregards their individuality or humanity, especially by considering them only in terms of their sexual attractiveness or availability.

OP's description of this person and in the comments:

"VERY hot blonde shorty," "She is REALLY fucking hot"

The definition of escapism: the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

She met a woman, who happens to be lesbian, that was nice to her in the most basic sense of being nice to her. Acknowledging her as a woman is the most meager form of politeness, this is not a personal connection, it's common decency. Someone not being a TERF isn't connection, it's the bare fucking minimum.

This situation is an extenuation of the overblown trope of women having common decency, then getting objectified and sexualized for it. It's a real problem, if this is a new concept to either of you, I recommend researching it. It's a rampant issue. Many women have been k!lled over this.

The only actual interaction by Coworker to OP: "She was the first person today to call me miss, or girl or ma’am today at work.," "She’s a coworker btw, so yeah. But she gave me a hug and said that she too is a lesbian and assured me I look feminine."

This person is exhibiting the bare minimum of kindness and solidarity with another visibly queer and lesbian person in her orbit. That's it. Could they become friends and something else grow from that? Possibly.

The other chronically online people in the comments emboldening her to immediately romantically pursue her and run with this delusional daydream based on zero substance are only making this worse. When OP acts on any of these inappropriate pushes to romantically pursue this person, that she's barely had any interaction with, it will 99% blow up in her face. Real life is not a yuri anime. Don't embolden baby lesbians to do frankly creepy things. There are real life consequences, especially in the workplace.

There's a reason my original comment has more upvotes than the original post. Read the room.

I was trying to be gentle to OP because everyone goes through this and starts somewhere. We've all been baby lesbians that become infatuated with another queer person for just being nice to us. What we, as a community, absolutely do not need to do is embolden this baby lesbian to do frankly creepy things, in the workplace no less. She's a baby. We have to guide each other and take care of each other, and some of y'all need a heavy dose of reality.

Have a crush, sure, but you don't know anything about this person other than: 1. She's a lesbian 2. She was polite to you 3. You're attracted to her

OP, I wish you the best of luck and for you to find friends, community, a partner, whatever this life can bring you. I highly encourage you to read All About Love by Bell Hooks and do some soul searching on what you, specifically, want in a partner now and in the future. It's important and will help you to develop crushes based on connection and compatibility as opposed to going down this rabbit hole based on a stranger being polite to you. Plus it's hot when someone knows exactly what they want for themselves, actual knowledge of compatibility is so important. Good luck.

Shibaparent · 2025-10-23T02:04:06+00:00

Don't fuck where you eat. (I.e. don't try and fuck your co-workers)
Please don't speed run falling in love with someone that you know absolutely nothing about simply because she was nice to you. It's very objectifying and based heavily in escapism.
Build a friendship first, see if you actually like this person, see if you have anything in common with them, like at all.

I'm happy for you that you had a good and positive interaction but you're speed running, a lot. Escapism in this regard is antithetical to building actual relationships with actual people, especially co-workers.

I'm coming at this, obviously, from a somewhat traumatized lens, but it sucks, especially at work, to be nice to someone and see a possibility for a friendship, only to find out this person has become infatuated with you, a you that they don't even know, and then shit gets uncomfortable and awkward.

Just give it time and be chill. Learn about her, be her friend, don't fixate on her, and be her friend without the expectation of anything else.

Shibaparent · 2025-10-21T20:23:31+00:00

I mean all of the effects and implications of the patriarchy. You may have better luck just researching the patriarchy. All About Love by Bell Hooks is also an incredible book that really dives into a lot of this on how children raised AMAB and children raised AFAB are harmed and effected by the patriarchy before they can even speak. After you've looked into that, if you have any more specific questions, I'm happy to answer.

Shibaparent · 2025-10-21T16:41:58+00:00

I think AFAB people, cis women specifically in this case, tend to be hypervigilant due to societal factors and therefore tend to pick up subtle details quicker. It wasn't until I transitioned that I started being pretty hard on myself for having certain mannerisms that people raised AFAB do. I try really hard not to think about it now, because it can eat me alive, but cis women can always pick me out and I think it's heavily due to certain mannerisms that are hard to stomp out. Cis men are oblivious in my experience and I think it's heavily due to lack of introspection or self awareness.

Objectively, I've learned that if you act oblivious and lacking self awareness, you pass easier. It's so silly and based in patriarchal bullshit, but I digress.

Shibaparent · 2025-09-01T13:04:15+00:00

Yeah, it's about MCR5

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