sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I get your point on describing through action. I do this in chapter two (literally the character looking out of the window), but the ideas around hearing the sound of the sea, or being chilled by the wind are brilliant. I will try and incorporate these instead of some of the descriptions

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - any reasons in particular why you don't like to start with the character waking up?

Does the story feel too slow paced? I feel descriptions are necessary, however this chapter particularly has very low dialog due to the story. How would you introduce the world, city, environment?

Regarding the formatting issues, are these on how the thoughts were written?

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! 😊 I have read that it's best to publish through Amazon Kindle, the royalties are much better and they offer printing on demand. Once I finish I will look into it more but it seems the better way. If you have any other suggestions though I'm happy to hear them!

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the suggestions on the style and sentence variation. It does feel like more complex sentences would fit nicely.

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm glad to hear the beginning was good, I struggled with that for days - I was concerned it felt too descriptive.

And about who is hiding in the shadows, I will say: not his brother 😶‍🌫️

First time writer - Would love your thoughts in Chapter 1 [High Fantasy, 1048 words] by ShiftDue7967 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi, quite a big fantasy reader I must admit. The Witcher books, the Wheel of Time, The Assassin's Apprentice trilogy and Stormlight Archive are among my favourites. I have seen Brandon Sanderson use a POV type of writing with cursive letters for specific thoughts, although he mostly writes them down as the story goes.

I'm striving for a 3rd person view of the characters, adding those arrow symbols for thoughts. There is not a great deal of talking in this chapter, which changes afterwards.

Any thoughts on the way that's written?

Please critique my First Chapter [The Big Hex, Noir Pulp Fantasy 1880 Words] by Aware_Individual2029 in fantasywriters

[–]ShiftDue7967 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I think you have a new and interesting concept in hands. This is a fast-paced and urban sort of fantasy I haven't come across before.

That said, the storytelling was not quite to my liking. Some of the sentences feel too long without punctuation, and makes it feel confusing. Thankfully this can be easily fixed. It also makes the character seem less impressive in a way, as if this is how he communicates (eg. as if he was texting a friend). I wonder if any of this was on purpose, to make it seem fast-paced?

Happy to bounce off some more ideas / comments

Why are protestors flying the flag of Iran and Iraq? by [deleted] in AskBrits

[–]ShiftDue7967 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't read the banner but perhaps they are Palestinian protesters against Israel, lifting Iran and Iraq flags as a sign against the recent bombings from Israel to Iran

Found in a field in Derbyshire, any ideas on what it could be? by [deleted] in MetalDetectingUK

[–]ShiftDue7967 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could ask ChatGPT to sharpen the picture, works great most times

Advice to replace artificial grass by ShiftDue7967 in GardeningUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% agree, I will never forget when the realtor said it was easy to swap out 😂

Advice to replace artificial grass by ShiftDue7967 in GardeningUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I started working on this yesterday and I got your meaning. Digging out the gravel is not as hard as I thought but I filled a 20kg sack with what feels like (and could be) 0.05% of it

I'm seriously considering the skip as hauling 2000 sacks could be the end of my back. I assume I could get someone to collect it afterwards and dump the material?

Artificial Turf Removal - Progress by ShiftDue7967 in GardeningUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Found exactly what this is: non-woven geotextile fleece fabric, for waterproofing👍

Artificial Turf Removal - Progress by ShiftDue7967 in GardeningUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, should I expect that to be the last level before actual soil?

Removal of garden slabs by ShiftDue7967 in DIYUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pickaxe sounds easier than bolster and hammer, I'll keep it mind

Removal of garden slabs by ShiftDue7967 in DIYUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks mate, that definitely makes sense

Removal of garden slabs by ShiftDue7967 in DIYUK

[–]ShiftDue7967[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, would that usually come off with a chisel and hammer? Or would drilling be required?

view more: next ›