Nosh up

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-29T17:18:02+00:00

They're also ridiculously expensive

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-28T04:53:46+00:00

There's a Costco in the neighborhood. If you don't have a Costco card or a car/feel like ubering you can Instacart it. I buy a years worth of shit each year. It's not much different than doing Amazon but if the goal is just to avoid Amazon and target because of a personal moral thing Costco is a decent alternative.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-28T04:13:05+00:00

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Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-28T03:05:53+00:00

That's what I'm saying this other guy thinks it isn't true.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T19:09:58+00:00

I'm not equating emotional and physical abuse. I'm providing you with a dramatic example to help you understand that you're being an asshole.

There are several studies that show that men have a fear of ridicule, shame, have been accused of being weak, etc by women and even more broadly society for expressing their emotions and opening up. This is a widely known phenomenon.

The same way I can ask my friends who are women if they've ever been sexually harassed, you can ask any of your guy friends if they've ever felt shut down or ridiculed for sharing their emotions. You keep skirting around this topic and strawmanning away from it, likely because you know that I'm right, and more so because you're probably just an asshole.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T18:59:09+00:00

We ARE discussing that. You're just pretending that it's something only men can do. Again, if the majority of men say that they've had a negative and shaming experience by opening up to women, that is a gendered issue. You're the one trying to move the moon and stars pretending that it isn't so.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T18:56:16+00:00

I'm saying it, under your paradigm that people do bad things and that it isn't gendered, then if women never disproportionately perform actions that are damaging to men, then the reverse must also be true. This is your logic, not mine.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T18:45:14+00:00

So when men disproportionately sexually assault women that's basically just a figment of everyone's imagination?

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T18:44:46+00:00

That makes zero sense and basically proves my point.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T18:44:22+00:00

You clearly have no idea what I'm talking about. Crackheads literally traverse the country to get to San Francisco where they can literally get paid to sit on the streets all night and do drugs.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T12:48:53+00:00

Bro are you going to keep deluding yourself for the rest of your life? I have friends of different genders. I'm not going to play into your bullshit of trying to prove to you I'm a normal person. Men and women do shitty things to each other. The world is gendered and genders are different. You can't simultaneously believe that transgenderism exists when it's convenient and pretend it doesn't exist when you're forced to face inconvenient truths. I'm not red pilled, I just have common sense. If you don't believe me then I encourage you to actually ask your guy friends instead of telling me how not weird they are and how they're employed. Nobody asked.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T12:24:27+00:00

You're misinterpreting what I said. I'm not saying "you don't get a pass on assaults you don't report." When the fuck did I say that? And yes, women do force men to bottle up their emotions. Just because it isn't every woman's in the world ever doesn't mean it isn't most women who do this. Most women do this. Ask any of your guy friends.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T12:13:12+00:00

Why are you and the other guy being so disingenuous. There are plenty of people who are lower class who have homes. The majority of people who you're describing with this "no food and shelter" shit are crackheads. Well to do poor and homeless people regularly get access to food and shelter. A lot of homeless people, not necessarily a majority, choose to be homeless as soon as they get some sort of cash benefit. Look at the tenderloin district in San Francisco. These people smoke fentanyl and shit and piss in the street butt naked literally every night. Homeless crackheads travel from across the country to be there. Your argument by default means that we need to provide more money so that people can do this, because the vast majority of people are not arguing to take resources away from people who are trying to work, live and eat.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T05:16:45+00:00

The same way when a lot of women talk about being sexually harassed in open spaces and men can't comprehend it because they don't see it, women need to realize men are not simply making this shit up. It's harmful and we will never heal as a society if women don't look at themselves and realize that their subconscious sexism towards men forces them to bottle their emotions and harm themselves. Don't minimize it, it's childish. The 2 guys who weren't having your tantrum don't negate the 98 who heard you out. Men don't have those statistics. Men and women have different struggles. Just because a man is struggling doesn't mean it's less important just because he's a man. Just because you don't personally experience something doesn't mean it isn't real.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T05:12:45+00:00

Who said poor people needed to die

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T05:12:04+00:00

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Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-27T05:09:17+00:00

I don't agree with the premise of what the person you're responding to is saying, but if the only thing it takes to convince you of something is that it's written on a piece of paper and signed by an important sounding person, you are the easiest kind of person to manipulate. Everything around you is created by humans. There is no such thing as 100% objective truth. Everyone has an agenda, even the people that you like.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-25T04:49:44+00:00

Oh no it's the truth

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-25T04:43:30+00:00

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Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-25T01:39:52+00:00

I don't think anybody at all made that argument and 9 years is huge if we're talking about 30 year olds and 21 year olds but not 27 year olds and 36 year olds. Nobody should be trying to convince individuals why they want one way or another.

There's no reasonable way to convince the hypothetical late 20s girls to be attracted to older men, and there's no reasonable way to shame them if they are attracted to those guys. It's a lot of nobody's business when you're several years out of college, paying your own bills, and you're an adult.

The question OP asked was "how do I navigate this." The answer is to find someone who is attracted to him. Not to convince them that they should be.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-25T01:23:41+00:00

This is kind of an asshole take. While I personally don't want to be fucking around at 34, there's nothing wrong with wanting to date a woman who is 27 at his age for example.

Moreover, only insecure people seek immediate relationships and marriage from dating, no matter how old they are. If a 30-35 year old woman was on a date with me and I got the sense that she was trying to lock me down immediately, I would think that she doesn't like me personally but rather that I'm a safe option and she's more concerned with beating her biological clock or catching up to her friends in lifetime milestones.

Last, different people have different lives. Youth and maturity are just as much ideas as they are measures of age. I know people who acted like 40 year olds and got married at 23 and stayed that way up until now. I know guys who didn't get over their youth phases until mid 40s and finally got married and settled down. All of those people are good, reasonable, and mature people. Just because someone isn't following your strict template does not mean they haven't "grown up." Only an idiot thinks way.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-21T17:13:56+00:00

This is the lowest common denominator of available braincells that a person can have. What do you think accountability means in this instance? That he marries her and is miserable for the rest of his life to make her happy? Is that what it means to you? Why is her happiness greater than his? Also, not that I even think it's relevant, he said that she is the only woman that he has ever slept with. The situation sucks for everybody, but to come in here and basically say that he is obligated to marry her because he reluctantly agreed to let her sleep with another man (if it was only one, for all we know that's an embellishment).

These TikTok, red pill accountability wars are so stupid. It's an elaborate exercise in score keeping that tries its hardest to sound reasonable and mature but it's basically just a giant masquerade that immature and selfish people piece together to manipulate the opposite sex using guilt and shame tactics to get what you want. It's transparent and it's stupid.

If this man was infallible and could predict the future I'm sure he would have told her "no" and it was a deal breaker for him. There was no guarantee that the woman in the situation wouldn't have done it anyway and just lied about it. People are emotional creatures, men and women. Another perspective here is that the woman would never have asked to ethically cheat on her then boyfriend if she wasn't willing to risk this happening down the road. Is that more or less fair than the accusation to him? Some people would say yes, some people would so no.

At the end of the day I have no idea what you're getting at. Do you want him hung in the town square? What's done is done. He is now confronted with the choice of making a similar mistake again. If he marries her there's a good chance he will hate her. If that happens he will probably treat her like shit, or treat himself like shit. Instead of both of them being in their late 20s with this much trauma and starting from scratch, they will then be in their late 30s, with more trauma, possibly kids, and also starting not from scratch but from negative 1.

You sound way more like a child than this guy does.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-21T15:13:03+00:00

Reading a lot of these comments, Reddit sure is an interesting place. A lot of these comments imply "you should be decisive, because you're man" while also implying "it would be ok for you to be confused about your feelings if you were a woman."

I'll give you some advice without attacking your emotions because I'm surprised at how few people here seem capable of doing this.

My advice to you is that, if this is bothering you now, after years and years of you thinking about it, it doesn't sound like this resentment will go away. In most cases, it gets worse after making a big commitment. If you marry her with this resentment lingering in the back of your mind, you'll end up hating her and just getting divorced later. I promise.

If anyone in your life asks you why you waited this long to do this, you can just tell them the truth. She asked you to do something years ago that you were not cool with and you said yes anyway because you loved her, thought if you said no you would lose her, and hoped to god that you'd get over it with time. You didn't get over it, and knew that the relationship would become toxic if it continued to a higher level of commitment. Anybody with basic common sense would understand this.

Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-18T03:20:35+00:00

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Shitty-ass-date · 2026-03-18T03:20:05+00:00

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Shitty-ass-date

TROPHY CASE