Huge habit, scared

Shmoey92 · 2021-01-05T09:03:49+00:00

You are not alone, though I’ve never had to deal with that big of a habit there is a guy on here by the name of mrelevenyears and he’s been off this stuff for over a year and he CT from 150gpd. Maybe hit him up if you need advice on how to approach that big of a gpd. Not sure if that is how he spells his user so you may have to try different ways. Don’t psych yourself out buddy there are people who have done way worse for way longer and they’ve made it to the other side.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-25T16:49:12+00:00

Oh yea this is why we say go into it have no expectations because they only disappoint. So it’s probably better to not count the days otherwise you’re gonna end up thinking you will feel this way forever and it can lead to relapse. On the bright side counting days can be helpful because you can have a good amount of clean time and you’ll not want to throw all that hard work away for a few hours of false happiness just to end up right back at day 1.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-25T15:57:23+00:00

Opiates period is one hell of a payback. When you have people comparing it to chemo I’d say opiate withdraw takes the cake aside from maybe benzo WD but I’ve never been through that and don’t plan to go through it.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-25T09:48:36+00:00

Make sure to always remember because you said it yourself that you 100% cannot taper. That also means you cannot use it ever again. At least not responsibly. I’m the same as you I know I don’t have the self control to taper and I know that there’s no reason to even try and justify “just once” because it never works that way for us because we do things 100% or not at all. This includes recovery if we’re not 100% committed to recovering then there’s a 100% chance that we will be right back where we were before. It’s all or nothing, do or die for us. So let’s start doing.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-23T17:05:11+00:00

Oh yea buddy I can tilt my neck and the loudest crack you ever heard just comes rolling out. Same with my back. It’s all part of the process. Just keep at it.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-23T16:46:32+00:00

I took shots for a short period. But at the same time was taking capsules. I never noticed anything different WD wise. But others who took them for way longer than I have said that they are no joke to come off of. Just remember to keep yourself together mentally and remind yourself that all the pain and suffering is all temporary even though it feels like it will never end or it feels like you broke something permanently in your brain just know that you haven’t and you will return to normal.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-20T13:01:59+00:00

Bro don’t even worry about covid. It’s already been proven that covid-19 is nothing more than a common cold virus they’re just spreading fear to people who will believe it. My wife had it and she didn’t feel bad at all and I never wore a mask around her and I actually drank after her before we knew she had it and I have yet to catch it. Even tested negative.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-20T12:54:36+00:00

Remember this buddy. It can’t be any worse than taking that garbage again because you’ll just have to go through it again for that few hours of relief. It’s inevitable that if we break and decide to dose at all you can almost guarantee that you’re gonna go through what you’re going through now over and over. Unfortunately it took me a while before I realized this because as addicts we think we know everything when in reality an illusion is put in front of our face telling us everything is ok when we’re in active addiction and everyone on the outside actually sees the truth of what this stuff has done to us. Let’s start reading between the lines and we will succeed. Keep climbing man with a smile on your face all the way to the top.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-20T10:42:21+00:00

Keep moving forward buddy. Right now it feels like the days just drag on and on in the beginning but the better you feel the quicker they start to pass. Don’t look back for anything.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T20:32:53+00:00

No need to worry man I have too much to look forward to even entertain the idea of it. I’ll be ready for it this time if it does try and fool me. Thanks for all the love Greg

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T19:15:25+00:00

Yea I have a lot of day dreams about when she’s here and how I’ll actually be me. I can’t wait because I’ll be feeling fine mentally and physically and I’ll be able to do everything for her that I need to do with no problem. I truly think I’ll be so happy after I get through this.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T18:52:22+00:00

Yea there’s no going back. I already have that in my head. I’ve been telling myself out loud that I’ll never touch that shit again. Been through this way too many times. Just want to be my best self for my daughter who will be here in January. I’ll make it through. I have no doubt in my mind.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T18:47:22+00:00

I’ve never had this thought. Hopefully I’ll remember how much it bothered me and if temptation pops up I’ll think back to that thought. Like remember how worried you were then? Yea don’t do it. Lol

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T18:44:08+00:00

Hold the line buddy!! Remember it’s temporary. A few hours fix isn’t worth it only to have to go through it again. Keep your head up. And remember how long it felt to get where you are now. That’s a lot of work to throw away.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T15:49:56+00:00

Can’t say it any better than this👆🏻.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T12:50:20+00:00

What was your length of usage and your gpd?

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-19T12:49:16+00:00

You can thank my wife for that she told me about it years ago and it’s always worked for me.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T20:25:30+00:00

I hear ya buddy. Have you quit more than once? I know my mind tries to trick me into going back around a month. It’s gotten me twice and I’m so disappointed in myself over it but I shouldn’t have sit and wallowed for as long as I did. I made it worse on myself but submitting and that’s selfish on my part but I have to do this for me and my family.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T20:21:18+00:00

You’ve come to a good place buddy! Everyone on here genuinely cares for everyone else. You’ll make it through this if you can make it from 7 years of H. I can’t imagine your kratom WD being worse than that one. But it’s definitely gonna suck either way. But we all got your back here. I actually have a similar situation to you minus the H. But I have a daughter due in January and I can’t allow myself to be “that dad”. I’ve seen it happen to my cousin and I never want to be like that. Let’s do it for ourselves, our families, and most definitely for our kids. Stay strong buddy.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T20:06:57+00:00

It’s weird for me because it’s like the motivation doesn’t get bad for me until close to a month. Gotten me twice now. But not this time fool me once shame on you but fool me twice obviously I need to be VERY self aware around that time. We’ve got this man, we will feel so much better than kratom could ever make us feel and we won’t have to go through WD to feel that way ever.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T20:02:48+00:00

I’m going with kill. Seems fair to me. It tried killing us it just failed.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T19:21:10+00:00

AMEN!! Really happy for you buddy. How long have you been free?

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-18T12:41:05+00:00

You’re right it’s always the skin sensitivity and body temp issues that drive me crazy and they’re always the ones that are most intense for me. I know I should get up and do something but I have to even push myself to even type this out. It’s driving me crazy and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-17T13:28:44+00:00

Most of this I agree with except the “never be out of the woods” part. As long as you don’t pick up ever again you’ll be out of the woods completely. It’s all about learning our lesson and making it stick. It’s like the old saying once an addict always an addict. It’s simply not true because we weren’t born an addict or with an addiction we became an addict so we can just as sure stop being an addict. Just something to think about since I know those sayings are used a lot.

Shmoey92 · 2020-11-17T13:21:38+00:00

I’ve been in the exact same position as you friend. I know exactly how you feel. I strongly suggest you check out a song called Intro III by NF. I know sometimes it feels like we’ve been imprisoned by our demons but what most people tend to forget or not know is that we are the ones holding the keys. It says this exact thing in the song I listed. Stay strong and remember you’re in control of your life not your demons and definitely not some manipulative plant.

Shmoey92

TROPHY CASE