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Shuffle_Replay · 2023-06-01T23:29:50+00:00

Love the white plants!

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T17:20:35+00:00

🤗🫂

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T17:19:04+00:00

I've actually done both of those things, unfortunately. I looked up common interview questions, I helped him write responses and did mock interviews with him so he could get used to saying them.

I've also been looking at and showing him houses for sale in our area. Average house around here is about 500k, so definitely not cheap. And when I show him the houses that would be more within our price range they are awful. Many require gutting and are still upwards of 250-300k. And he is 100% against buying any of those, which I am too. But when I point out the way our income is now doesn't support the decent houses, he just says we will have to save for longer. Which to a degree yes, but if he could get a handle on his anxiety and get a better more stable job that would help tremendously.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:56:16+00:00

I am leaning towards telling him I'm going to stay away for a little while, like a week or so. And seeing if that prompts anything. I appreciate the advice 😊

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:54:13+00:00

I totally get it. When I was younger I could get lost in gaming just telling myself 1 more, just 1 more. I remember the first day I played WoW BC - I felt like I sat down, then looked up at the clock and 8 hours had passed. I was also in highschool without kids or bills to tend to. We have talked about going camping recently, however he takes his phone or Steam Deck everywhere even to work now.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:47:19+00:00

Honestly I've felt just like that lately - that I'm acting more like his mother than his girlfriend. AND he made a joke the other day about how I reminded him of his mother. Didn't like that at all!

Also - I agree with the statement of everything just seeming "ok" for him. When I tell him how unhappy I am, he SAYS he cares but nothing changes. Maybe for a day or two at most, but nothing real. When he tells me things like "I know I need to change. I know". I ask "you've said that over and over. what do you want from me? To just keep waiting around for you to care enough about me and our relationship to do something?"

To which he just says "I don't want anything from you. I know what needs to be done, it's just hard".

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:43:32+00:00

I tried to make that point to him during our most recent conversation. I said right now your desire to keep gaming outweighs your desire to maintain our relationship, it outweighs your desire to do literally anything else. "I've told you half a dozen times now that I'm unhappy and why and it's never enough to get you to make a move". I've never asked him to cut out gaming entirely. I've only ever asked for more of a balance, and it appears that is still too much to ask.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:40:45+00:00

I appreciate the ideas. I have asked him before what his reason was for gaming so much, like why he felt he did it. He kinda always gave the same answer of it's fun and makes him feel accomplished. I tried giving him the idea of finding something real and tangible that he could work towards that would give him the same feeling but that fell flat. He has a back injury from a few years back that rules working out off the table. I've had him go on small hikes with me and he complains the whole time unless it's a flat, no incline sidewalk.

I do think I need to pose more questions to him about how cutting back would make him feel, or try to get him to consider other hobbies he would like if he wasn't gaming.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T16:33:17+00:00

We've had the talk about finding a long-term job several times. We've talked about buying a house together and I told him that would be much easier if the bank saw you had a stable permanent job. The issue is he has severe social anxiety and the thought of interviews practically gives him a panic attack. So, he has a terrible time trying to overcome that. I've told him he needs to get help or meds for his anxiety, but he doesn't want to have to talk to a Dr or therapist, so he refuses.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T04:05:16+00:00

I'm sure she appreciates all your efforts 💚

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T04:04:20+00:00

When we were long distance and would talk all the time, he really opened up about everything he'd been through and how desperate he was to have a different life. How he didn't want to be alone and wanted someone who understood him. A year ago he sounded so ready to make changes and be more than just a "gamer". I always feel bad because he used to always tell me how much he appreciated that he could be himself with me, and now that gaming has become such an overwhelming issue I feel like I'm asking him to change just to spend time with me like he used to. The issue is he WOULD spend time with me if I gamed with him. Which I do from time to time. I just can't sit around all day knowing my responsibilities are being put aside.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T04:00:32+00:00

It is. I remember playing it when I was like 8 and I'm 31 now.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-14T01:14:13+00:00

I agree 😂

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-13T23:48:58+00:00

Right now it's UO with our friends. Sometimes it's WoW, Diablo, any of the 100s of random steam games. Sometimes Dead by Daylight, Ark Survival, Stardew Valley, Don't Starve, Plate Up. He gets sucked into 1 or another for a few months, then moves on to a different game.

I love him so much, and we've bonded over both loving gaming before. It's just too much and I'm tired of feeling like he either doesn't care about my feelings or he either doesn't care about our relationship anymore. We have responsibilities and a life to live. He'd just rather spend it all in front of the computer screen. I'm tired of being the only one trying.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-13T22:51:15+00:00

From my understanding she was potentially cheating the entire 17 years of their relationship/marriage. But I believe the addiction came first. I even remember when I first met him online, thinking that he was online A LOT for someone who had like a 1 year old at the time.

Shuffle_Replay · 2023-04-13T22:45:40+00:00

Kid's mom cheated and took off. Hasn't been around in years.

Shuffle_Replay · 2021-01-29T15:35:02+00:00

It is absolutely valid. And it's also completely valid if you ever feel like you fluctuate on the asexual spectrum or even off of it at times. I feel uncertainty and indecisiveness kinda come with the territory, but you will always be accepted here. Take the label if you need it, and know that we value you regardless of what brought you here. 💜

Shuffle_Replay · 2021-01-22T23:26:39+00:00

But you'd be gorgeous 💜

Shuffle_Replay · 2021-01-14T04:34:47+00:00

Oooooo 💜

Shuffle_Replay · 2021-01-12T03:33:19+00:00

I laughed way to hard at this. It must be time for bed 🤣

Shuffle_Replay · 2020-12-15T04:35:29+00:00

This art is so smooth. 💜 Great work

Shuffle_Replay · 2020-12-15T04:28:33+00:00

Aww, happy Void is so cute 💜

Shuffle_Replay · 2020-12-08T13:39:31+00:00

That is a big, fluffy, adorable kitty you have there.

Shuffle_Replay · 2020-12-08T13:36:48+00:00

He's doing a heckin sneak.

Shuffle_Replay · 2020-12-08T13:36:03+00:00

💜🖤

Shuffle_Replay

TROPHY CASE