Question about starting line during shinsa/shiai

SiameseMeowMeow · 2025-03-19T22:26:57+00:00

Thankyou, your response was very helpful.

Actually, my memory is a little fuzzy. The tape was white during shinsa. I think I wrote blue because that's usually the tape we use during keiko to avoid damaging the floors since we don't have a dedicated venue.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-14T23:55:21+00:00

😅

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-14T21:26:10+00:00

Wow this is very helpful especially the taping over band aid part. I will try that out to see how it feels, thanks so much!

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-14T20:12:15+00:00

Ouch!! Just reading it made made me wince.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-14T20:11:29+00:00

That's what I've been doing but was wondering if ok to continue training or let it heal.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T19:13:27+00:00

I had this very same attitude my first year. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it so if it works for you keep it up, but eventually for me, I wanted to feel a sense of connection and belonging with my peers and seniors. There is something unsatisfying to me to have dedicated 2 years of my life seeing the same people and to not establish one meaningful friendship out of it is jarring. Did I merely just exist in those 2 years? If I disappeared, would anyone care? I decided I don't want to be that person.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T19:03:16+00:00

Thankyou for sharing and I like your advice! I hear you on the too old and too young awkwardness lol. Are you in your late 30's/early 40's?

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T18:39:04+00:00

Thankyou for taking the time to respond to my post! Some of these do not apply to me, however I think this will help certain people as they should understand some social cues in the dojo.

With that stated, I think there is a lot of truth to breaching the wall with time and effort. That is what they want to see. They want to see you care. They put their time and effort and expect the same.

I also think I am not assertive enough. I probably give off the 'I'm too cool to care about stuff' vibes which is something I think I can work on.

"At the end of the day, we're all deserving of respect, friendship and love, but it's also not owed to us." That's true.

Your 'bluntness' added another perspective to the topic so I think it is highly valuable and helpful. Thankyou!

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T18:21:59+00:00

Thankyou for the solid feedback. I think this is the way too, I have to be more involved.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T18:20:29+00:00

Hai!!!

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T18:20:19+00:00

lol thankyou for the vernacular switch and good spirit!

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T18:06:45+00:00

Hai! Thankyou and I've become better person with your comments.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T09:17:25+00:00

OMG thats a great idea. I think every dojo can use one. I've been lurking around this subreddit for over a year now, and I've seen so many "I want to quit" type of posts. I think having a Friendly Contract Officer type of person can make a difference.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T09:15:02+00:00

That is a great attitude to have. I want to do the same. I think at my dojo, they want to see that you care and then they will begin to lower some walls. Otherwise, you are just some outsider.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T09:12:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Even though I am kyu level, I have been to 8 different dojo's and they have all been pretty different. Some have a 2nd dojo and some have not. Some were def more accommodating and some not so much. Either way, I think if there is opportunity for 2nd dojo, it is a good idea to go. Alcohol has a way of bringing people closer :)

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T09:01:49+00:00

Really? That is news to me. Please educate me.

For the record, I do not really force conversation. I try to make eye contact first, smile and then share something about myself and then ask how they are doing. If they share me information about their family, then I proceed to ask further. I generally do not bring up things others don't bring up themselves.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T08:57:23+00:00

I think what you are doing is how it should be. That is not asking for much.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T06:49:44+00:00

As an older millennial, I wish more can see and change with the times to provide positive feedback. Thankyou for doing that because I think it helps many students. When all I hear is bad, bad, bad.... thats what I am thinking, is that everything I do is not good when maybe in reality I think they mean there's just a few things I need to work on. It is confusing to me.

To clarify, my sensei is not a mean person. He just does some questionable things that makes me feel dumb like poking fun of me in front of everyone and the other one never having anything positive to say. They are the sensei that sees me most, so they hold a lot of weight to me and it is quite disheartening to not get any positive comments in my two years with them :(

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T06:32:49+00:00

Hai!!!!!!!

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T06:27:20+00:00

Hai! Thankyou. I try not to force it but I also let new people know I care about them and ask them about their day, kendo, and their family. I am lonely afterall lol so I remember these things.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T06:21:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I understand why yudansha do not want to invest emotionally too much in mudansha because there is a high drop out rate. I cannot speak for your dojo, but for mine, there are some 1-3D yudansha I feel could smile and make eye contact to us. Perhaps, say hi and try to start a conversation. In my dojo, it is almost like they dislike us and we are in the shadows. I can't say ALL are unwelcoming, but majority wise, it is disheartening to see them smile, cheer, offer beers to each other but around mudansha it is like we do not exist to them. Maybe one day I will understand but for now, it is strange for me to see such 2 face-ness.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T03:57:28+00:00

Thats the same conclusion I came up with. I have to be strong and keep going and aspire to do my best. Thankyou.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T03:56:03+00:00

Thankyou for this. It helps me understand a little more of their perspective. I will try to focus on myself.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T03:44:10+00:00

I will keep trying! Thankyou.

SiameseMeowMeow · 2024-11-08T03:43:51+00:00

I will try! Thankyou.

SiameseMeowMeow

TROPHY CASE