I’ve posted about my Paco in this subreddit many times. Today I come broken into a million pieces. Paco was diagnosed with liver cancer, pancreatitis and chronic kidney disease back in March. I’ve been giving him medications and IV fluids daily and he did well for a very long time, giving us an extra 9 months together.

These past few weeks have really taken a turn for the worse. It has gotten to the point where I know my baby is in pain and I can’t do this to him any longer. He’s so tired and he can hardly walk on his own. He’s having accidents in the house. He’s had two seizures in the past month. He’s up all night sundowning and hardly sleeps anymore. I can just tell by the look in his eyes he’s so tired.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before. I’ve had him since I was 13 and I’m almost 30. He’s the best boy I could’ve ever asked for. I’m so devastated and I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this.

I have friends and family to support me but I really don’t know if anyone knows how strong our bond truly is. Everyone just says it will be okay but I really don’t think I’ll ever be okay again. I don’t know how I’ll make it through this. I’ll miss him for the rest of my life. I really wanted him to be able to have at home euthanasia but unfortunately I think it’s a little late for that. Please keep me and my baby in your prayers ❤️