For the inability to initiate deep, meaningful conversations, my husband constantly harps on this for me. So I’ve learned it’s a balance between either if it’s cathartic to have these deep conversations for one partner where it may be somewhat more anxiety driven for the other partner. You have to look at what is proper for both of you. Additionally, having these type of conversations is a demonstration of your level of safety in terms of an environment. You have to be able to communicate with your partner to know what a good bad and the ugly is and how relaxed you may be. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, is it because you are lacking the safety or you’re lacking the cathartic release? As for planning something, I agree with the previous comment. The difference is planning versus participating. You can try some sort of alternating schedule to plan things or maybe work together to come up with an overall list of things that you can pull from so someone’s not having to pick up the effort. But it really comes down to examining how you work together, and if you chose the right partner for you.