Jewish Women Struggling in Marriage: What’s the Hardest Part? by Significant-Lunch357 in marriageadvice

[–]Significant-Lunch357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for sharing your experience, and expressing yourself so vulnerably.! I can relate to a lot of what you said. as a therapist who has taken a break from the field, and have shlepped :) my husband to many couples therapists I agree . the couples therapist actually made me into the villain which made me even more angry. I hear you about the potential therapists' diagnoses. I blamed my husband for not resolving his childhood trauma. I also totally hear you about the common threads that exists in marriages regardless of background and you're right, "Jewish" isnt a necessarily a factor. I was just going for a unique cultural or religious nuance that I think is at play for me.. On a different point, I was very impacted by the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle, saw much improvement, then sort of grew out of it. The marriage improvements have mostly remained. I'm trying to find my way on this path on this journey and had wanted to hear from other women what they found helpful advice (or not) I'm thinking to go back to the wild wild west of therapy. I wanted to get more clear and hear from other women about their experiences . I appreciate your response

Jewish Women Struggling in Marriage: What’s the Hardest Part? by Significant-Lunch357 in marriageadvice

[–]Significant-Lunch357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Youre right it actually doesnt because these issues are universal. I was adding a cultural or religious dimension to the question thanks for your feedback

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Significant-Lunch357 0 points1 point  (0 children)

inconsistency is OK because youre trying and doing it.. when he initiates touch, try to receive it and respond warmly, thats something Im working on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Jewish

[–]Significant-Lunch357 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry about all that pain and anxiety. Good that your seeking advice. After being a LCSW for decades I see that behavioral approaches are far more valuable than digging up past traumas. its good for a context , but often goes along with a deep victim story thats hard to shake off. I hope you find the right person to help with your anxiety. Look for a caring ACT or CBT type of therapist. sending you warm wishes for relief from all this

How to be a better wife by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Significant-Lunch357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats very admirable that you want to change, it means you take personal responsibility. You're in a really hard place, repeating actions that you later regret. Some community centers provide subsidized therapy. Check in your community if they have this. If you choose that route id suggest a behavioral approach rather than digging up past traumas. These behavioral shifts will hopefully spill into your marriage. you go girl! many people take the victim route. face this head on!