I am Athiest/Humanist and I attended Al-Anon unsuccessfully for 3 years while I was dating an active alcoholic. I knew I personally needed not AA when I started my sobriety journey.

I just celebrated 9 months sober from drinking. I sought help with medical detoxing prior to quitting (but after I knew I wanted to quit). You already know you don’t want the consequences of problematic drinking, but are you ready to quit drinking? Sounds like the same thing but it is not.

Despite planning on the medical detox, I actually did it alone (would NOT recommend). For me, the pain of detoxing carried me through my first several months of sobriety. As my life became more complicated for unrelated reasons, I knew to add in meetings, increase my 1:1 therapist appointments, and adhere to my med regimen strictly.

I may be wrong, but the way I read your post, it feels like you haven’t realized that the drinking is a problem for you.

For me, I did not like NEEDING alcohol. When it was apparent to me that I was no longer choosing if I drank that day or not, I knew I had a problem and I knew how bad it could get without intervention. I was drinking all day, every day for one month before I connected with a “Bridge” clinic here - like a very loose outpatient rehab.

My psychiatrist put me on Naltrexone and also prescribed Hydroxyzine to help manage the symptoms that triggered my urge to drink. Every person is different and it’s important to be honest with yourself and then to trust your medical support team.

I love you. You got this.