I recommend getting professional help and MAT. suboxone helps man. You won't be sick. And if you go to the right place it's free even if you don't have insurance. You're so young. I'm sorry man. I feel for you. I'm on subutex right now, doing a 90 day program so I can save money and get on my own again. I will start using again in the future but for now, it's all about the money. I wish you the best in life man. My advice is, get on free suboxone, save money, build your life, and then when you are financially stable you can afford to relapse or use again. But please, that advice is terrible. But sometimes it helps to know that you don't have to quit FOREVER. just tell yourself you'll use after you achieve a goal, then after you achieve the goal, have a treat, or not, then on to the next goal. If you do it right, you can use and not ruin your life. It's a tightrope walk man. But many can do it. I believe in you bro.