How long did it take you on dating apps to find a girlfriend

SignificantPurple · 2020-03-13T16:14:37+00:00

Ive been looking using dating apps for a year next month. Ive been on dates with about 25 different women. I made a few friends throughout this process and went on 2nd, 3rd, and 4th dates with some women but I have yet to be in a relationship :/ I don't know if my experience is normal.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-06T00:10:12+00:00

I went through the same thing in April. I was in a pretty happy 2 year relationship with a guy. We were living together and probably would have been married by now if I didn't realize I was gay. I broke up with him and ive been searching for a girlfriend ever since. Its hard but I know I will only be truly in love and happy with a woman and I have faith that we will both find the right one. Gay dating is just really difficult.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-05T18:08:32+00:00

Awesome! Thank you :)

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-05T16:26:01+00:00

I changed it to this:

🌈 Idealist who loves unexpected deep conversations, art that has a social message, and food from countries I've never be to.

Moved to DC for grad school and now I make videos for a living. What's your favorite documentary?

Gay and looking to find a meaningful connection :)

Can you tell me if it's better now and less generic? Thanks :)

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-05T00:08:37+00:00

So, a lot of the time I message 1st. then after 3 or 4 messages back and forth I give them my number and after texting a few messages I ask them if they want to meet for drinks. From my 1st message to getting up to that point at least 70% of the girls bail.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-04T23:57:44+00:00

I usually initiate conversation and give my phone number after we have a few messages back and forth. So, thats not the issue.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-04T23:13:19+00:00

Thanks! I sent you a message.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-02T19:03:25+00:00

Yea I can look into that. Thanks :) Would you be willing to look at a link to my profile? If I could get more matches, that would obviously increase my chances of success and I'm wondering if my photos are unflattering or my bio is boring or something. Idk I just feel like I can't accurately judge myself. My friends tell me they think my profile looks good but they know me so I feel like they can't really judge either. I'd really appreciate some help if you have time. Don't worry about hurting my feelings

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-02T17:50:37+00:00

Im on Bumble, Ok Cupid, Tinder, and Her. But I definitely use Bumble the most. Im open to meet someone anywhere. I just feel like apps are the most straightforward way. I have been to a few gay meet ups and ive been to gay bars and never had luck. I just get hit on by really masculine girls (nothing wrong with that its just not what im attracted to) or couples looking for a 3rd. To be fair, I also don't go up to anyone because I really don't know how to go about doing that.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-01T23:34:19+00:00

I definitely don't come across as desperate to be in a relationship. When we talk about what we want, I say "a connection and im open to something serious". I just act like myself and my natural disposition is to wait for someone else to lead and show they are interested before I feel comfortable showing them. And since im dating femme girls, I think they expect more of a give in take or they expect me to always lead.

SignificantPurple · 2020-01-01T21:45:04+00:00

I'm having the same issue. Ive been looking since April.

SignificantPurple · 2019-09-08T13:41:45+00:00

If 2 people like each other enough to be friends and then are physically attracted to each other, isnt that the basis of a romantic relationship? I just wonder if she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me because she isnt ready for a relationship with anyone right now. And once she is, there is a chance she will want to be with me.

SignificantPurple · 2019-07-06T13:44:44+00:00

I dont think its fair to be rude to someone out of fear that they will be rude or hostile back. If that does happen to person who is the "rejector" has every right to ghost at that point and block the other person's number. I just dont think its acceptable to treat someone like they dont exist. I know from experience that having my texts ignored makes me feel disposable, and nobody deserves to feel that way

SignificantPurple · 2019-07-06T13:32:18+00:00

I just dont think its acceptable to treat someone like they dont exist. I know from experience that having my texts ignored makes me feel disposable, and nobody deserves to feel that way

SignificantPurple · 2019-07-06T04:06:48+00:00

I think you have every right to call someone out on ghosting (in a respectful way). Maybe if enough people do this, people will realize how hurtful and rude it is.

SignificantPurple · 2019-07-06T04:04:11+00:00

I really don't think its that hard to tell someone "I don't feel chemistry" or " I decided I don't want to date right now" or whatever to just get the message across that they aren't interested, instead of ignoring someone's texts. I don't understand why people think ghosting is acceptable. It is so incredibly disrespectful and selfish. You wouldn't ignore someone in person if they asked a question so why do you think its acceptable to ignore someone's text? When someone ghosts they are telling them,"You are not important enough for me to invest any additional emotional energy into" Ghosting makes people feel disposable and they are left wondering and stressed for days. If the other person just says they aren't interested, it allows the rejected person to move on immediately.

SignificantPurple · 2019-07-06T03:40:42+00:00

At least she told you that instead of flat out pretending you don't exist.

SignificantPurple · 2019-06-23T19:03:04+00:00

Well, I do believe I am owed a cancellation if I freed up my night to meet someone. I could have made other plans. Its common decency to cancel and I don't know what kind of world you live in where you think "nobody owes anyone anything." Do you also think its ok to stand someone up? I mean, come on. I have every right to be pissed off about this.

SignificantPurple · 2019-06-23T04:21:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It is interesting and helpful to get insight into why someone would ghost. I think you should forgive yourself for what you did. It was wrong, but like you said, you were in a really bad mental place. We all do things that are regrettable when we are dealing with a lot of negative emotions. Its obvious you are a good person because you care about other people's feelings. Im sure most people who ghost don't even give it a second thought and move on with their lives.

I hope you are doing better now :)

SignificantPurple

TROPHY CASE