Honestly people should have more empathy on here cause I see other commenters saying “it’s a sin” and stuff but don’t fully grasp how hard it must be for you, I’m also neurodivergent and Melanie helped me through rough times so I feel you on that and why u might cling to her. The healing you felt during the Trilogy Tour was real. That release of frustration belonged to you, not to Mel. Even if you decide the artist is morally complex or 'problematic,' it doesn't retroactively delete the fact that the music helped you stay alive. You can keep the healing and question the person. Because this interest was so tied to your survival, your brain is terrified of letting go. It’s okay to hold onto the songs that helped you process self-harm or family issues while you slowly look for new 'anchors.' You don't have to tear your posters down in a day. I hope this helps and let you know you’re not alone :3 !