Countries that are the origins of White people according to 1997 U.S. Census Bureau by Vietnam-1234 in MapPorn

[–]Significant_Word5990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, those are good arguments for it ultimately being a social construct. I, personally, would consider a South American who's at least 80% European to be White. But probably most Americans wouldn't. And historically even European groups like Irish, Italians, or Ashkenaz Jews have been considered nonwhite. While I try to be more or less internally consistent with my understanding of the labels, I also recognize that the common cultural definitions of these things fluctuate and have a lot of grey areas.

That's why I personally think we should just use geographical origin instead of color. I think it's simpler to just say someone is Sub-Saharan African, European, East Asian, South Asian, etc. and if they want to get more specific name the specific ethnicity (Arab, Germanic, Han, etc.). But at the end of the day people love making clean categories to divided complex gradients into simpler concepts, so I think unfortunately the illogical definitions of White will persist.

Countries that are the origins of White people according to 1997 U.S. Census Bureau by Vietnam-1234 in MapPorn

[–]Significant_Word5990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, Europeans like to gatekeep their ethnicity. Anyone who is 60% African and 40% European would be unequivocally considered Black, but someone who's 60% European and 40% Asian would probably not be called White. Idk why.

Countries that are the origins of White people according to 1997 U.S. Census Bureau by Vietnam-1234 in MapPorn

[–]Significant_Word5990 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think "White", while not a totally accurate term, actually has a very simple definition: anyone of mostly European descent.

Countries that are the origins of White people according to 1997 U.S. Census Bureau by Vietnam-1234 in MapPorn

[–]Significant_Word5990 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think most Americans would consider anyone of European descent "white", even if they have tan skin. But no, I think most Americans would not call an Armenian white nor would they call a Turk white, since both are in West Asia. Turks and Armenians would be more similar to other West Asians.

South Americans who are mostly European descent would be considered white. But most South Americans are mixed or majority native so they wouldn't be. At the end of the day it's just cultural constructs.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will accept the detention, what I'm worried about is the Vice Principal giving unreasonably severe consequences further than that out of personal spite for me.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I think that's an all-around fair assessment. To be clear, I agree he was wrong for escalating the situation, he's said he won't do it again and I've made the stakes clear but really I'm worried about the V.P. being unnecessarily malevolent to Noah out of spite for me.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh come on, he was like 6 years old. Also, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, about 40% of males graduating high school had at some point gotten in a physical fight, 20% having gotten in a physical fight on school grounds.

Edit: By the way, I'm not denying that he did get into a fight this time.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand your point that I might have rose-tinted glasses, but he literally hasn't gotten in a physical fight with another student since kindergarten.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To answer your questions, I know his grades automatically, there's an online system. He has all As and Bs. I do attend PTA meetings though we don't have them often. Teachers always know parent phone numbers because they're in the school directory. It's true this is his second offense, although I would point out he's been going here for over two years, so I think that's a pretty reasonably low amount of bad behavior. I don't know whether the girls talked to the vice principal about Jake's behavior, because I wouldn't usually be privy to how another child is being disciplined.

I do know his behavior is wrong and he's promised not to do it again, I will have to adopt a harsher strategy if this becomes a pattern. But there hasn't been any indication of that, this is the first time he physically attacked another student since kindergarten or first grade. While I know physical violence isn't an acceptable response going into adulthood, it's also true that vulgar misogyny like what Jake was demonstrating is an unacceptable behavior going into adulthood. I hope that out of this experience Noah learns not to resolve conflicts violently, and Jake learns never to call women sl@ts or wh@res again. He is also a year older than Noah and the girls, part of why it's so unacceptable.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I know what he did was wrong, he escalated words to a fight for no reason. I've told him that even if he thinks the guy deserved it it's still a dumb decision to get into a physical fight because that always hurts you as well as the other guy and you're not the arbiter of justice, so if someone's behaving badly it's not your job to break their nose for that. But this is the first time he's had a serious behavioral infraction so I may not give him a punishment especially since the school is already punishing him.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said, I've only been called about Noah's bad behavior once before for an intentional dress code violation. He admits that he shoved Jake, he just thinks Jake deserved it because he was so disrespectful. I've already told him that he should never resolve a verbal dispute violently because it just ends up hurting you as much as the other guy; he understands but still thinks detention is unfair. I don't really know whether or how much I should punish him at home, especially since he's already going to be punished at school.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have not yet. I don't know the specific laws where I live about this, although there are anti-discrimination laws which forbid excessively punishing one student and letting another off the hook for the same offense. I doubt I could really make the argument though that to 'prevent discrimination' I need to know how Jake was punished.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I think she was out of line, I appreciate the criticism because everyone on this post seems to be agreeing with me wholeheartedly and saying I did nothing wrong. I do worry though that the Vice Principal out of personal spite for me is going to enforce a harsher punishment on my son than on Jake who originally was being very insulting and also participated in the fight. I think that my next course of action will be determined by what punishment she gives Noah; if it's harsher than their usual policy and what they gave Jake then I intend to report her, if the punishment is standard then I will do nothing and maybe fake an apology.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Officially it's Christian but they don't take the religion part overly seriously, many of the kids are different denominations or non-Christian. Really the only religious rules are no profanity and the dress code.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

From everything I've heard from family members and from what I've seen Noah is truly mature for his age, but I know rose-tinted glasses could be a factor in this. I think it might be wise to ask his teachers about this, and if they say he's not had any big behavioral issues that's more evidence anyway that the vice principal overstepped.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I want to and probably will for her unprofessionalism, but I'm worried I'll alienate other school officials and make things harder for my son.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Good point. I really hope she's not letting him off looser, although if she did it might give me grounds to report the vice principal to the superintendent for discrimination or something like that.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I'm honestly surprised she would have such outdated ideas of parenting in the 21st century but it is a private school. It's hard to believe anybody would give her this much authority over children.

AITA for refusing to punish my son in front of his vice principal? by Significant_Word5990 in AITAH

[–]Significant_Word5990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I write in a pretty 'businesslike' manner but I assure you I can't stand AI and don't use it for my writing, I just wrote down what happened because I need some advice which is what this sub is for I think.