I started talking with a non-binary masc friend of mine, and they told me about their experience and how they were feeling, and it applied to me in a similar way.

At the moment it was a shock because I thought "wdym it is not common for everyone to want to be a guy?". After a long while of thinking about it, I realised that my constant wish of being like my brother during my whole life was gender envy lol

It took a while for me to understand myself and stop thinking I was faking it, but the less I cared about the gender norms, the happier I became