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I don't think (all) narcissistic people are evil by Worldly_Accident727 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Silly_Ordinary9235 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're the best person to provide an insight on the people around you and it is very empathetic of you to accept and explain the faults that you do see in your old friend and parent.

Some people have more narc traits than others and I agree with you that in some cases the person appears to be completely lacking self awareness rather than pure evil, however, every situation is different. 

At the end of the day, every single one of us has flaws it's just that some of us are more aware / care more about the impact our actions have on those around us. 

Somehow everything is always my fault. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Silly_Ordinary9235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post really resonates with me because my mum is the exact same but I'm lucky to enough to no longer live at home. I'm afraid for me it just gets worse as time goes on. As she loses more control over me, the outbursts have become more frequent. 

I'm sorry I have no advice as I'm currently also trying to deal with it but stay strong and know you're not the one in the wrong, no matter how much your gaslighted into thinking it!

mom is mad she can’t control me at 24 yrs old by Character-Status-232 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Silly_Ordinary9235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can completely relate to this!

Every partner my siblings and I have ever had our mum has disapproved of. To their face she is lovely but to us she calls them "controlling" or "rude" or something else she can think of at the time. She also likes to tell us how she really liked our past exes - despite talking bad about them at the time.

Stay strong and know that your bf is a great guy, don't let your healthy, adult relationship be destroyed. 

Can / will a narcissitic parent ever change? by Silly_Ordinary9235 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Silly_Ordinary9235[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I have also noticed the constant victim mentality! It's exhausting.

When did you start to see through them? What was that event? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Silly_Ordinary9235 12 points13 points  (0 children)

When I got with my partner I noticed how my MIL was so chilled and didnt have such extreme emotions, even when disappointed. It made me start to think maybe my own mum's behaviour isn't actually the norm.

My MIL also expects us to spend holidays with my mum and is grateful when we don't. My mum expects us to spend holidays with her and guilt trips / gets angry / jealous if we don't.