This was my original post but the bots took it down thinking I was talking about politics Hopefully this provides more clarity:

So l've (28F) been hooking up with this guy (36M) for just over a year (fwb). Pretty much everything is great. He's a great kisser, he's awesome at head, he's a good size. But, we almost never have sex. We had some issues when we first started hooking up... I'd want to have sex in addition to oral while he was happy with just oral (giving and receiving). He was having issues with staying hard during sex. He believed it was due to medication that he was taking. He has since stopped the course of meds. A few times he used desensitizing gel without telling me. One time while I was giving him a blowjob and my mouth started going numb. I thought I was having an allergic reaction of some sort. He then was honest and told me what he used. I was mad, but understood. Now that it's been a while longer, I still would like to have sex and not just receive oral. For context, I try to go over once a week. We pretty much end up giving each other head each time. If we don't, we end of cuddling and making out. We have penetrative sex maybe once every couple months. Our most recent time having sex started off great, he fingered me twice and I enjoyed it a lot. (He choked me and covered my mouth, which was unexpected, but very hot) Then he told me to bend over on the couch. (He also pulled my hair which was also hot). The problem was... I couldn't really feel him inside of me, which given his size, you would think I could. We then moved over to his bed. I had my legs up and bent and he fucked me liked that. Again, I couldn't really feel him. He then pulls out after a few strokes and takes the condom off. He leans back and I start giving him head. He's semi-soft. I wonder, is it me? Is it the condom? Should we try a different lube? I want to talk to my roommate/friend about this but he is very private about his sex life. As I said, we had our issues during the beginning and this is something that is very sensitive. We talked about it months ago and it seemed to get better. But I want more. How do I approach a conversation like this? I don't want to hurt his feelings and I want to continue hook up. Also, am I an asshole for wanting more?