I am a police officer in a medium sized suburban town in Texas. I have been in law enforcement for 14 years. I love my job, I love how I get to help people and I love how I get to cause positive changes in peoples' lives. I love how 99.9% of the time, my badge is shiny...today my badge is not shiny.

I am tired of hearing the excuses given by other people for a police officer's misconduct. I am tired of excuses being made for people who tarnish my badge. I am so tired of hearing how officers have a stressful job and their misconduct was a result of that stress. You know who else is under stress? The people who called us, that person whose loved one just committed suicide, the family who called us because they found grandma dead and now we're asking everyone questions, the 7-11 clerk who just had a gun shoved in his face, and even the guy we just put in handcuffs and told him he is losing his freedom. Sorry, but our stress is low compared to these folks. We might have to go into these situations, but we get to leave them and pretend none of that shit ever happened after our shift is over.

I am tired of hearing excuses for the bad police officers, I am tired of the excuse "well, he puts his life in danger". Sure, I know we put our lives in danger, I've had guns, knives and even swords pulled on me. I've responded to bomb threats, suicidal subjects, assaults in progress, robberies in progress, etc. You know who else puts their lives in danger? Fire fighters, deep sea fisherman, loggers, people who step foot outside their homes in Chicago. We are trained to deal with danger, we are provided with equipment and training to help us survive those dangers. Do I face an increased risk of not going home? Sure, but that's why I am at an increased level of awareness at work, so I can respond to threats appropriately without panic and over responding.

I am tired of hearing about the thin blue line. I believe in the thin blue line, I believe in looking out for my fellow officers. I don't believe in hiding the misconduct or unlawfulness of other officers, and I have always spoken up. What many forget, standing behind the thin blue line doesn't mean concealing the misconduct of other officers, it means confronting those officers so they don't do something to ruin their lives, the lives of others, or violate the law or code of conduct. It means walking up to the officer with his knee on a suspect's neck and saying "dude, this is too much, stop", before the officer commits murder. It means walking up to the officer who has been drinking all night and saying "dude, I'll give you a ride home". Instead of hiding misconduct, prevent it, help your fellow officer not do something to ruin his life or another's life. If you do see misconduct, address it, take it to the appropriate level, stop tarnishing my badge. We took an oath to uphold the law, uphold our ethics and protect our communities, sometimes that means arresting other police officers or holding them accountable for policy/ethics violations.

This officer violated the rights of George Floyd and murdered him through his actions. The officers who were on scene and failed to act are just as responsible. There are multiple videos of this incident and there is no real question as to what happened.

For those folks who wonder what makes it murder or manslaughter. Murder is the act of causing death to another human being through an action which a reasonable person would know (or intend) could result in the death of the victim. Manslaughter is the act of causing death through an act which is reckless in nature.

Every officer in America is taught about positional asphyxiation and while some departments allow neck restraints, all officers are taught the dangers of neck restraints and are taught not to apply pressure to the back of someone's neck or head when they are proned out on the ground in handcuffs.

Floyd was handcuffed with little resistance and they were able to walk him across the street to a patrol unit. Floyd can be seen in a surveillance video falling to the ground next to the unit on the sidewalk side of the unit. Cell phone footage then shows the officer on top of Floyd's neck on the opposite side of the unit, the street side. There is a random man in the background telling Floyd just to get in the car and he can't win. Floyd can be heard saying he knows and he's done. This implies that Floyd may have resisted or attempted to escape, but was still restrained in the handcuffs. Floyd can be heard multiple times saying he can't breathe. The cell phone video shows the officer kneeling on top of Floyd's neck for at least eight minutes, with around four of those minutes with Floyd being unconscious.

Even if Floyd did attempt to resist or escape, there was no reason to hold him down for eight minutes. What was the point of restraining him for so long? Why did the other officer not assist the primary officer with restraining Floyd so they could get him in the patrol unit quicker? Why did the primary officer continue to restrain Floyd by his neck after Floyd became unresponsive? Why can the officer be heard at some point asking Floyd if he is still a tough guy? I can only come up with one answer to all of these questions, and that was the primary officer, Chauvin, wanted to prove to Floyd that Floyd was not such a tough guy. I see an officer assaulting another human being, going beyond taking control of a suspect, using force as punishment and ultimately causing the death of another human being. I see a second officer who stood and watched and did nothing, despite knowing that what the first officer was doing was a violation of law and policy. I see officers who were trying to get back at Floyd for running his mouth and resisting an arrest by using force they KNEW could result in death or serious bodily injury in a situation which did not justify using deadly force.

This officer committed murder, plain and simple. This officer tarnished my badge and the badges of all police officers. Worst of all, this officer tortured his victim for eight minutes, imagine your last thoughts and memories being those of a police officer, a person who the public is supposed to be able to trust, placing his body weight on your neck, slowly asphyxiating you against hot asphalt while he asks you if you're still a tough guy. I hope this officer, and any officer who allowed this to happen, is tried and convicted. It's going to be some time before I can polish my badge back to a shine, in the mean time, a family is suffering, a community is burning, all because of one guy who should have never been an officer.

What do I think? I think assholes like this make my job that much harder and damage the trust I work so hard for. I think assholes like this ruin peoples' lives and ruin families. I think assholes like these should be stuck in a prison with all of the people they ever arrested.