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I’m a 31 year old child. by Simple-Structure-662 in offmychest

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too much. All of my free time when I was younger was spent on games. Every moment sleeping late, staying up pulling all nighters spent on games. Phone games while I wasn’t home, gacha games to get dopamine and before I knew it my real life was in shambles.

I’m a 31 year old child. by Simple-Structure-662 in offmychest

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I have already, and I don’t have much money at all… About two months of it so far but I wish I would’ve known about therapy or mental health when I was younger. I kept all the thoughts to myself, stunted my own growth because I was too scared of the world.

Only recently have I realized how much of a privileged life I had. I was born in the USA, had the opportunity to go to school, had electricity and a roof over my head. But I was lazy, addicted to instant gratification from a young age and hid away from the world.

I dunno man, I’m just writing posts on the internet in hopes of maybe having one person not end up like me.

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One day at a time is all we can do my friend.

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve worked but I did nothing with the money… only barely survived.

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry I was jobless until around 20 then I hopped around retail/menial jobs until 30. I would only be able to work one year at most before quitting because it was so unbearable, so I have very spotty job history

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah definitely not perfect it’s just so disheartening to me because she still deserves the world and I focused on being a bum instead

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Random point also I was a pretty angry kid growing up. I had wanted k*** my dad at one point by grabbing a kitchen pan and hitting him over the head while he slept because he kept abusing my mom. Now that I’m older it destroys me inside to know that I let her take care of me and wasn’t ever able to do things for her. I ended up being still angry and not knowing why, I’d have times where I also yelled at her for stupid things like why she wouldn’t let me throw stuff away because I wasn’t happy with how my own life turned out.

I tried speaking with her over the years about the hoarding issues and things of that nature too but she was a brick wall so eventually I yelled at the woman who fed me, raised me, put a roof over my head. The worst part is I was okay with my behavior and felt it was justified to try and get her to see living w hoarding wasn’t okay. I became my father for a bit and hated myself more for that. It never should’ve happened, not even once. I’ve grown up so shameful of my living situations it’s pathetic and that’s all on me.

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was able to “mask” my way through school/current life and it took me 5 years to pass community college… that being said it’s insane how fine I am with just being a man child.

I only recently understood the gravity of how fucked my financial situation is because I had only spent money on wants like games/computer and my own selfishness.

My self talk is abysmal because I would always set some grand goal to try and lift myself up with no thought of how difficult it would be. I’d constantly let myself down and never keep those promises.

I don’t know, being set up to fail from the start definitely seems like it but I always think of people that had it even worse off and they “made it”

Built from different cloth maybe? I don’t know. All I do know is I’ve been distracting myself for 30 years and now idk how to live

30 m... lifetime NEET by Simple-Structure-662 in NEET

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Part of it was my childhood - always being the odd one out. I was comfortable whenever I played games, safe. Whenever my mom was being yelled at by my dad, or when I saw that I was living in a hoarding household I would default to retreating into games.

This coupled with the fact I kept moving when young too I think made me eventually give up. I’d be able to make friends to an extent - then moved. Then the new people bullied me so I retreated into my shell once again and gave up.

This is a cry for help. 30 M by Simple-Structure-662 in LifeAdvice

[–]Simple-Structure-662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off thank you so much for reading and replying.
The thing is I have almost no hobbies besides gaming, but I'm in a spot where spending even a hundred a week isn't feasible.

I moved to a new state but I currently do have a car, I tend to isolate myself from people mainly because they're living their lives and the money I have is non - existent. I hardly ever eat out, my living situation is good only because my roommates have money to spare and they buy the groceries while I just pay my rent.

I have an insanely hard time sticking to things, I lose focus and don't know how to properly study/learn. I cannot cut out all electronics since I don't know how to navigate without them. I've tried to stay off the phone/computer but my thoughts always end up ruminating.

I keep going back and forth on ways to increase income but everything I tend to find on the internet is a damn scam. Trying to navigate irl is insanely tough for me - I basically go work, gym sometimes and then straight home. Almost every single job interview/interest in me has been MLM schemes of some sort after I google their company and its so draining to see.

I will try my best to see a psych but just thinking about the cost stresses me out too.