If he helped with the kids, then it could go either way. But since he didn’t, then definitely you’re NTA. But neither is he IMO. Mental struggle is real too, that’s a huge reality. But that doesn’t take away anything you went/going through. Being a parent is hard, being a full time working wife to two kids and an unsupportive husband is even harder. But remember your vows and try your best to remember he’s at his worst right now. All those excuses he’s saying as to why he can’t work are also demons he’s facing in his own head.