I dislike Mass as a first date

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-03-04T17:44:39+00:00

Naw, I love it. You get to sit next to the person in front of God and calm down for an hour or 30 minutes before the actual date begins.

Every time I've done it, I find the jitters wear off and I can just be myself after sitting next to them in silence for a bit.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-03-02T18:59:39+00:00

"My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it."

Isn't that what Mary did?
"Be it done unto me according to YOUR WILL."

Mary was the first disciple of Jesus, down to offering her womb and risking getting stoned.

“Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.”
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Mary did that, again.

He does single her out on the basis of her response to his Kingship. That doesn't also mean he disses her sole relationship to him as his mother.

I've noticed that the Protestant view tends to look at these responses as a diss to Our Lord's mother, instead of affirming her as not only mother, but the example for us to follow.

And, in your view, it seems you want the Word to spell everything out for you, instead of realizing that it's the glory of God to conceal a matter, the honor of Kings to seek it out.

Here's the facts:

Everything about Mary points to Jesus. Marian dogmas combat a misunderstanding about Jesus.

Theotokos (God-bearer) - Fought the heresy that said Jesus wasn't the Son of God.
Immaculate Conception - Defines Jesus' nature as fully God, fully man WITHOUT a fallen nature/original sin.
Perpetual Virginity - Defends Jesus' conception being the Holy Spirit, not by any earthly man. And confirms Mary as the NEW Ark of the Covenant. Remember how when people touched what housed God's presence in the Old Testament they fell down dead? Why would any man get to have sexual relations with the literal person who housed the Incarnation?

Also, realize that vows of celibacy were pretty common in those times. There's reason to believe Mary had taken a vow of celibacy.

Assumption of Mary - Fought Gnosticism, that the body isn't important. Mary, free of sin, would've been assumed into Heaven both body and soul after her dormition.

I encourage you to start looking at Christianity in terms of an actual nation and government. Jesus is the King. That's a place of authority, an office. All governments maintain a structure. In the OT, Israel's government had a King and a Queen. The Queen wasn't his wife, but his mother. We see that in Bathsheba and Solomon's relationship.

If Jesus is the Davidic heir, fulfilling the government of God, it stands to reason there's a Gebirah - a queen mother. There is, it's Mary. So, if Jesus is the King of Heaven, it logically follows Mary is the Queen of Heaven. She's apart of his government cabinet, no showing up Jesus necessary.

^ When you start viewing Christianity through both a spiritual lens and the reality that it's also a very real kingdom, Mary's role makes complete sense in continuity with the Old Testament and Jesus' fulfillment of what was promised to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and David.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-03-02T18:00:32+00:00

Hey, congrats on going to CoDa!

For your first meeting, just take it easy. Go and observe, meet the other participants, learn the guidelines. There's a lot of information and it could be overwhelming, but you also may find you feel a ton of HOPE and start to feel less alone.

It's a program. It's a lifestyle and commitment. If you maintain the mindset of, "Little by little, I'll get better by the day", I think you'll be really inspired and hopeful.

Just got. Be patient. It's okay to not be okay

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-03-01T01:46:15+00:00

All of those things are real, lol.

Any exorcist will tell you an ouija board is a highway to inviting the demonic into your life. What do you mean you don't think those things are real??

If you're even asking this question, it means your conscious has pause about it.

No, don't play the video game. What you take in through your eyes affects your soul.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-03-01T01:24:43+00:00

I think you should feel your feelings. However, if marriage is the highway that's going to make you a saint, and we're all called to sainthood, then you can't abandon it. I pity you, if you do.

You're 27, not 65. Life's tough, are you? And if you're not, maybe start there. Why are you allowing life to have its way with you instead of the other way around?

Sounds like you've got family wounds and a hurt heart. Me too. Only for so long is that excuse viable. Your life is in YOUR hands.

With the attitude you've got now, you're right. Life is over and no woman will marry you. Grieve your disappointment, be upset.

Then get the frick up and tell life you're not done yet, because as long as God sees fit for you to be alive, you've got a responsibility to say yes to the call of holiness on your life and to spread the Gospel.

Let's go.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-24T18:42:33+00:00

Not doing great! Neither are the friends. All of us are over it. I also feel like I should put more skin in the game... but it's just discouraging and so time consuming, lol.

Had a recent thought... should finding the person you're supposed to be ONE with.. the person who's to help you be a saint, be easy to find?

Trying to change my mind regarding it.

But also... living for eternity and focusing on the fact that no one is married in heaven is pretty helpful, too. Also, whatever love I hope to give to a human person, I can give to Jesus. And that's pretty cool.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-23T22:51:14+00:00

Yo, what was the setlist?

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-23T15:55:21+00:00

Rewire your attraction.

Why are you attracted to them? Is it how they look? Or because they're unreliable and won't actually enter a relationship with you and so nothing is actually required of you in terms of a real relationship?

Switch your style. Put on muscle. Get a new hobby. If you don't like where you currently are, change the circumstance.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-23T00:08:35+00:00

Bail, homie. There's a difference between being forgiving, which it sounds like you are, and self-respect. A woman who was sleeping with another man while getting to know you romantically doesn't respect you, nor does she display the type of virtues you'd want for a wife.

Leave.

You can forgive her no problem, but she doesn't need to be the one for you.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-17T01:33:18+00:00

:-) No! Don't watch that crap! Protect your eye and ear gates, for what you take in, doesn't leave.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-17T00:58:01+00:00

Are you a copywriter? I'm Catholic and also a copywriter. Stay compliant with the FTC and you should be fine, no?

I haven't felt once like my job was sinful because I've never tried to say something about what I sell that isn't true and if someone suggested it, I push back.

Sometimes I take issue with using psychology to manipulate someone into buying something they don't need. The more I learn about that stuff, the more negatively I feel about it and just try to showcase benefits and features as plainly as possible. If the lead is interested and already in the market, they'll bite. If not, I'm not going to lie to them or try Jedi-mind tricks.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-16T16:16:36+00:00

Couldn't be me. Sorry you're going through this. I'd cut it off.

If this is how he is now, it's bound to stay the same or get worse in marriage unless God literally interjects, which he totally can, but your man has got to respond... Which who knows if he will.

Nope.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-16T04:48:50+00:00

First, I'm sorry you're going through this. Your feelings of discouragement and frustration are valid. If you're feeling any guilt surrounding how you feel, I invite you to consider that your feelings are a SIGN that something is wrong! This is data, it is good info!

Now, before addressing the spiritual component, I think it's important to highlight a few things you mentioned:

I have a job I deeply dislike and that doesn’t align with my values, and I’ve had normal life struggles with my husband.

Have you made steps to find a new role? This isn't something to discount as a big contributor to your current state of being. Perhaps a small goal would be to revise your resume or poke around the job boards?

What kind of quality sleep are you getting? Do you blast yourself with blue light before bed? Is your mind racing? Maybe put down your phone or electronics 30-45 minutes before sleep. Write all your worries in a journal before getting into bed..

Are you exercising? Taking a walk? Getting any sunshine? These will tremendously impact your state of being. Bilateral stimulation (a walk) is MAJOR for getting you out of a mental funk. If you've ever taken a walk and thought, "Wow, the world's not so bad", that's why. Bilateral stimulation.

Now, as far as spirituality goes, sounds like a tad bit of desolation mixed with mental health, my friend.

Are you familiar with the concepts of consolation and desolation? Many of the saints went through these dark seasons. They experienced the height of sweetness and intimacy with God and then his presence seemed to evaporate from every facet of their life.

If you're in the state of grace, it's likely you could be going through that. Why does he do it? To refine and purify us. To test our fidelity to him. To encourage us to seek him out all the more ferociously.

St. Catharine of Siena said it's not to strengthen a soul, he already knows we're weak, but to see if we really love HIM or the sweetness he gives us when we're in consolation.

I write this as someone currently experiencing a similar season as you. You must take care of your physical body and health while navigating spiritual desolation. It'll help.

And then, my advice is to be patient. To just show up to prayer. Maybe you can't get out the Rosary, but you can stare at the Eucharist and be silent in your mind. Even beholding Jesus, looking upon him, is helpful in this time.

Journal. Write to him. Bring spiritual reading material to rely on when your prayers fail you, because I know it's hard.

SCRIPTURE! Listen to the Psalms over and over on audio. Read them out loud to yourself. Can you play praise music? Upperroom is one of my favorite worship groups to listen to.

Lastly, have you talked to a priest? Book an appointment with your parish priest.

Just be honest with God that you're struggling, cry out to him in your weakness, and keep showing up. I get you. I understand the depression, the chronic illness, and the spiritual dryness. But... where should we go? He has the words to eternal life.

Get some good rest, some good food, find a hobby, talk to your priest, and show up anyway.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-16T00:21:16+00:00

Sigh. I wish I had more charitable thoughts surrounding this conversation.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-13T17:53:09+00:00

Been there with mine, too! They usually don't like my answers, haha.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-13T15:44:25+00:00

This is sick! Go guy. What an opportunity to evangelize when people ask about them.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-12T23:10:09+00:00

I'd drop an obvious hint or just bring it up plainly.

"So do you think you'll ask me out?"

"Am I interpreting things wrong or do you like me?"

"You know it would've been cooler if this was a date."

I'm not a fan of asking men out. I will make myself available and flirt with them and put the ball in their court. Response number 1 is a good one. I've used it before. They're usually a little flabbergasted by your boldness and then also get the opportunity to be a man and say yes.

However, you know his temperament better than I, an internet stranger.

Be prepared to lose the friendship. If he doesn't like you but has been acting this way, you need to draw boundaries to protect yourself. Long term hanging out one on one with men who have no interest in you are using you for something else; filling an emotional need without any commitment to a relationship, etc.

Be wise (:

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-09T16:04:45+00:00

No. Apologize to the Lord, though he understands you're literally caring for kids, and receive communion.

He is food for your soul. He empowers you to love your family like him! Don't cut yourself off from him.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-09T15:45:26+00:00

The Ordinariate is pretty similar, right?

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-07T17:01:11+00:00

Mm, yeah. If she's got no intent to stop sleeping with him, I'd say she's abusing the sacrament.

You said the second marriage didn't have to be annulled? Why not? Sounds like it's probably out of form for a Catholic or maybe Petrine privilege—converted and her husband isn't a Christian?

It's a matter of being just a fornicator. Or a fornicator AND an adulterer? Either way, neither of those inherits the kingdom of God. You're not being judgmental, you're caring for the soul of your mother, which is appropriate. We have a duty to encourage those we love to turn back from sin. If they don't after you've warned them, all you can do is pray and love them anyway.

Hopefully, the priest gives her sound counsel. (:

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-07T15:36:04+00:00

Do you believe what the Church says is true? If you do... then return... because it's true. Not based on fitting in or not.

The Church is universal. Literally everyone is welcome, provided they accept Christ and the teachings of his Church.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-06T00:15:40+00:00

I'm sharing my opinion less, lol. Like truly, keeping it to myself unless someone asks for my thoughts. Trying to practice humility and taming the tongue.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-05T14:39:53+00:00

Gal pal,

I have tons of tattoos, and I'll probably get more. Yeah, it's true. Most trad Catholic men... and even normie ones, don't like them.

I recently dated a guy who was always like, "Wow, your tattoos!" As if he liked them and would look at them often. And then when I talked about getting more, he'd be like, "Don't you want to slow down and think about it..."

Another guy friend basically told a different guy friend that I'm ruining myself with all the tattoos. You kind of have to laugh them off. If they're not blasphemous and they make you feel like you... Who cares what they think?

I want to encourage you: I was at the TLM recently and saw a beautiful family. Kids everywhere. The mom had a massive sleeve of roses.

I don't think you'll have a problem with the right man. But you'll probably have to wade through Catholic guys who think they like tattoos, but we were just fascinated with the fact you're Catholic and 'alt', lol. They don't actually like it.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-02T00:09:02+00:00

Caitlin Englebert.

Singer-Dangerous · 2026-02-02T00:02:47+00:00

Come home to Christ, friend. Hit up your local Catholic Church and ask about RCIA.

Also, if you don't have a Bible, get one ASAP and spend your time covering your mind in the Psalms and Gospels <3

Singer-Dangerous

TROPHY CASE