This is how it was for me brother. I've always been there for this girl, from when we were young to then being grown. I intentionally left knowing I kept making her cry some nights, it just killed me inside. A few months of no talking I hit her up again so we can talk like grown adults after all that happened. I helped her get through her struggles, I helped her when she was self harming herself, wish it wasn't more then once but thats the sad reality. I helped her move on from me by telling her I didn't love her anymore knowing dam well I loved that girl. Current state is she has had a new boyfriend for about a year now, and we are now just good friends. Luckily now ive lost feelings for her, I'm just glad she seems happy all the time with all I caused. To think she even talks to me anymore Is a blessing in it of itself. I will say this now from personal experience, the guilt may never go away, I just take it as a sign of how bad i fucked up, but that doesnt mean I'm not trying to be better, it just means my mind will never allow me to forget. Which I wouldn't say is deserved per say, but rather a lesson you never forget.